Oct 5, 2010

Leeloocorbondallas-multipassnakedness (+erotic locks)

Manbearpig looked into the utterly terrifying, yet clearly emaciated and weakened creature who seemed to speak gibberish which echoed inside Manbearpig's skull, and, it was suddenly like he was back in grade 7, standing across the dance hall, mentally debating in his head on weather or not he should ask the prettiest girl in the room to dance, or, just keep staring at her creepily for the rest of the night.

He traced the keyhole tenderly with the Kobold's key, his hands clammy and his pace racing - he moved it side to side, brought the key to the hole, brought it back, brought it forward again, and finally, when the lock could bare it no longer, he penetrated it with vigor, and opened it, causing the lock to give an inanimate object's version of a content sigh.

(Manbearpig opened the gate with a click)

Tentatively, he approached the rather terrifying creature and unlocked the chains which, it became readily apparent, were what was keeping him up in the first place.

As his weight landed upon Manbearpig's shoulders, he was immediately struck by the unexpected weight of the individual.  The exact opposite of when one expects an empty milk jug to be full and lifts it was occurring for Manbearpig.  He grunted.  "Heavier than he looks" he chuckled.  Clearly, he'd have to carry the poor fellow to freedom.

The echoing gibberish within Manbearpig's head began to coagulate into something resembling all the languages which he spoke, all at once.  Gradually, he began to understand what the creature was saying.  It was, in effect, "thank you" with considerably too many extra vowels, consonants, and spaces, with a particular favoring for the letters x, w, and z.

"xxxsssttthankquxewzewzewzewz" it mentally sighed.  Manbearpig smiled and thought a happy "your welcome" and added a few X's out of politeness.

Next on the list was the hot girl.  Realizing that the withered fellow on his shoulder, of whom he was thinking was less and less creepy as time went on, very likely was reading his thoughts, he hoped that his species was one that was fairly open minded, and not easily offended.  Still, choosing to err on the side of caution, he did his best to not think sexy thoughts - which, as we all know, causes one to think sexy thoughts.

"Gimley, will you hold onto our friend here while I help out the girl?"

"Ach, I'm notta touchin' tha' with a fir feet pewl, lettalone m'shoooulder lad!  I tellya gimmie t'keys and EYE'LL be the one comfortan' the wee lass, while yew c'n pley w'your neew frien' thar"

Manbearpig nodded, and passed the keys to the finicky fellow with the braided privates, who promptly unlocked the girl's cell, and roused her.

What followed was...  abrupt as it was startling.  The girl flew away from the group - granted, they were all naked(ish - braided privates and loincloths aside), male(ish - they weren't entirely sure which gender the creepy fellow was, but, at the moment, were assuming male) and two were missing an eye, one's hand was on fire, and, in general, was the only source of illumination in the otherwise understandably terrifying surroundings to find one in, so... one could likely empathize with the girl.

However, her reactions continued, as though she had no idea what any of what she was witnessing made any sense at all.  She didn't seem to recognize anybody, not even her own limbs, and... she freaked out.  A lot.

Manbearpig looked back to where he knew the guards were coming, and looked forward to where the guards had come before.  "Kip, I need you to scout ahead, and see just how dead everybody is that way."

"Aye!" he agreed, and took off.

"Ach, fas' lil' bugger ain't he?" Gimley commented, doing his best to calm down the terrified girl.

"Look, we don't have time.  We have to keep moving." Manbearpig ordered.  "Free the next one."

Gimley looked at him, and tossed the keys to him.  "Dew it yerself lad, we goot tyme."

Manbearpig acquiesced, and opened the next cell.  Within, was a half woman, half...  buzzard, or... chicken, or something.  As he got closer, he noticed that she was gagged and bound, as well.  He poked her, and she thrashed like crazy until he explained the situation.  "Shhh... I'm going to let you out, now.  Okay?  Don't thrash, I'm here to rescue you... shhh, there you go..." came his soothing coos.  The creature relaxed, and allowed Manbearpig to free her.  As soon as he did, her claws raced up and snatched off her blindfold & gag, and she looked around in a very... feral way.

"We're escaping." Manbearpig reassured her.

Perhaps it was being linked to the psychic, perhaps it was a rare moment of divine intuition, but, Manbearpig knew immidiately that this creature would betray, and likely eat him, the first chance she got.  Still, for now, the enemy of their enemy, was still, at the very least, useful, if not a friend.

"eeeeeeEEeeeckkkksssssssssssssssssssiiiit" came "Creepy"s next word, with a feeble point.  Manbearpig noted that the creature was able to lift his arm now, which he previously was unable.  He was glad that the creature was getting stronger as, he felt increasingly tired holding the fellow up.  "Exit?" Manbearpig prompted, "are you trying to tell me you know the way out?"

The creature collapsed and "spoke" the word again in an affirmative nature.  "hhheeexxxxxuuuut!"

Manbearpig nodded.  Perhaps rescuing this creature was the right way to go...

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