Jul 27, 2010

Gluestick's Recap

"Its funny you should ask!" Replied the suddenly self aware and chatty horse.

"Its just... it seems like its been forever since I was awake... and, I'm having trouble remembering... just... what was going on?"

"weeEeell...  you got smashed by a Troll..."

"No, I'm the troll."

"Listen, whose telling this story, you, or me?"

"Fine, go ahead."

"So as I was saying, you got smashed by a Troll because YOU, (also being a troll) smashed his boat, Skidmark."

"Oooooh right."

"You've been a little loopy since then, I think."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you did walk up (naked, mind you) to a bunch of evil Ogres, and, without knowing their language, attempt to barter with them via removing their clothing."

"That seems really..."

"dumbfounded, they decided to have sex with you, and you were rather surprised by that"

"Really?  That's..."

"Retarded though their manners were, one could still venture fourth that you gave the fellows the wrong message."


"Anyway, after the raping and the running and the killing, you ended up back at the Fairies briefly."

"Wait, didn't we go to see Poonose, AFTER the raping?"


"Why'd you tell it in the other order?"

"...to attempt to give you an excuse as to your logic."

"... right.  Carry on.  Then what happened?"

Gluestick neighed and bobbed his head, which was the well known "horses can't talk, moron" head gesture.

"... wait... what?  Am I ... still... what the crap?"

--(sorry, we still haven't played yet)--

Jul 13, 2010

A strange dream sequence involving Deep Fried Cheesecake and the Richmond Night Market

The Orc waltzed up to Tribby, wearing a strange, low cut top, and whispered seductively in its guttural language "Yes, its true - there is deep fried cheesecake at the richmond night market..."

"The what?" Tribby replied, clearly being entranced by the Orcy cleavage.

"But wait, it gets better..." She whispered anew, "There's deep fried cheesecake... with toppings! We're talkin' smores, butterfinger, you name it..." she whispered, huskily, slowly running her finger up her thigh.

"This is so strange... I... I don't even like Orcs... or girls... or know what cheese cake is..."

"Shhhh..." she replied, brushing against her skin lightly. "I know, I know... I admit, when I first heard about it - I think I was expecting some kind of tempura dish... but I assure you, its
nothing like tempura, and everything like ecstasy..."

Tribby moaned, tossing and turning in her bedroll whispering out-loud "n...no... it... it can't be real... so delicious and only $6... imposs... im... IMPOSSIBLE!"

Tribby darted upright from her nightmare, her heaving Trollish bosom heaving trollishly as she spewed out of Gluestick's saddlebags with a gwa-thump.

"What the crap was that?"  She screeched, as she trundled to the ground, startling the often nonplussed horse.


"Ummm... what the crap just happened?"