Mar 17, 2011

Summary (didn't want to write this one as it was the end of the campaign)

they battle the red dragon, Jay El dies.  They escape, convince the former owners that they are the dragon taken human form, get worshiped, and, as the volcano erupts, they escape, leaving children to burn.

They collectively jump, hippogriff, bird-fly, chain climb, and man-fly out, the volcano erupts, they fly and note 12 dwarves with tower shields, Tribby immediately announces to use them as snowboards, they do.

They snowboard down, mold explodes, Med falls almost into lava, Raelin saves her with chains - they bond-snowboard down, they follow Manbearpig, who leads them to the Dwarven ship, where they plow through a shitload of undead, attaining minor wounds, and jump, fly, and dimension door their way onto the ship as it takes off to the water.

Upon landing on the ship, they meet and... befriend the captain via thuggery, and, opt to sleep on the ship while Ash stands guard.

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(seriously, so much cool stuff)

The battle waged on, but, alas, despite the uber-ness of the Dragon, t'was not enough to kill off the party.  (er... I mean... verily the party overtook the dragon and there was much rejoicing)

The Dragon fell to the ground, defeated, and, suddenly, the world began that weird, Zelda-esque world-fade-out-thing, and, the party realized that they each had just enough time to grab a single item before the world faded out completely.

However, as the group was rather innovative, they all managed to cheat with various speed enhancing or quick-locating options, and, were able to snag multiple swags.

  Shirt of bone Damage reduction 3/bludgeoning
  Horned Helm 1d8 +1/2 str  (extra attack)
  Ring of wizardry I Doubles 1st-level spells per day
  Ring of protection +3 +3 deflection bonus to AC
  Belt of giant strength +6 +6 enhancement bonus to Str
  Variable Shield - from buckler to tower
  Fleshgrinding throwing axe 1d6
  Crystal of life drinking, least Heal 1 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 10 damage per day 
  Crystal of life drinking, greater Heal 5 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 50 damage/day 
 AMULET OF EMERGENCY HEALING 1d4+5 (yourself or others, instant) 3x p/day
 Crystal [DR 5/—, prevents up to 50 damage per day]
 Cloak of arachnida Various web and spider-based effects 
 Cloak of weaponry Store one Medium weapon 
  Fish Tank
  Belt of hidden pouches Holds items in 30 pockets, which function as small bags of holding 
  (Filled with sooooo much cool stuff)

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Mar 15, 2011

Hit 'em high, hit 'em high

The group landed in a icy cave, and noted that the icy walls were filled with diamonds, as well as seemingly masterwork items, rings, pendents, cloaks, and a few lesser gems and seemingly mundane items as well.

"Jackpot!" Yelled Raelin as the group landed upon a icy mound which roared and stood up upon their descent.

"Dragon!" yelled Ash, and, silently to himself, "(about friggin' time)"

The white dragon roared its challenge upon the party and shot fourth its icy breath, freezing many of them in place while Ash and Raelin managed to dodge in time.

"I'll hit him high!" is what one of them should have yelled, or, optionally "you hit him low" would have worked just as well, assuming cooperative and amicable teamwork.

However, Ash jumped high, and Raelin shot fireball high.  Both... hit the dragon.  One hit the dragon... and Ash, who steamed, angrily (and due to the heat).

"Totally accidental!" Raelin yelped, surprisingly sincere.

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Mar 14, 2011

I am the laaaaaoooosoooo

I know, I know, I haven't posted in too long.




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(would you say that would keep you entertained for... twenty years?)

Mar 12, 2011

And then some other stuff happened

So yeah, this battle, although was very fun to play, just wasn't that fun to write about.

Perhaps it was the fact that the players did so well... nobody really did anything noobish at all, honestly.  They killed things effectively, they strategized well, understood puzzles and ruses, and, in general, performed admirably.


Anyhoo - eventually, the party decided to splatter Raelin's blood on the pentagram alter in the center of the room, which, caused it to lower, then open in an aperture.  The party all jumped down the hole of indeterminant depth, and, the adventure continued.

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Mar 8, 2011

Xylophone Ribs

Tribby smashed and cleaved through the ribs of multiple skeletons, making a pleasant sequence of notes upon their bodies with her club as they were smashed asunder.  Ash yelped in surprise as 4 more of the bone creatures appeared around the room, and an invisible creature stabbed him between his own, considerably less musical ribs.  "They can go invisible!" he yelled, lashing out violently towards the supposed location of his attacker.

Med launched another scorching ray, dodging the retaliatory hail of arrows and stones.  Jay El looked to his right and noted that one of the bone demons which had just appeared was right next to him.  "oh." he said, as he was stabbed in the shoulder.

Manbearpig aimed his bow and snapped his bowstring again.  "fiddlesticks." he murmured.

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Mar 6, 2011

uhh... Fifty Cent?

"We're totally winning!" Tribby yelled.  Med laughed with her "Yeah!"

(it was around then that they noticed that none of the baddies had gotten to move yet)

"Oh..." Tribby attempted, as the Bone Devil slashed Ash considerably worse than he'd slashed it, and, to make matters worse, appeared to have either teleported or gone invisible.

"ssshhhiiii..." Tribby continued, as volley upon volley of stones and arrows were launched at Med, tearing through her once prudish and now somewhat Cher-ish garments.  "ttttt" Tribby continued, as the Troll Skeleton and his buddies smashed her with their arms and raked her with their claws.

Jay El stared in Terror as the Bodaks approached, but, his faith seemed to preserve him from their stares of death.

Raelin wrinkled his nose.  "Is that the Ghasts?  Yeesh." and launched a fireball.

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Mar 4, 2011

Bone Thugs

The group entered the BOSS ROOM, and, similar to a Megaman boss level, the doors closed and vanished behind them.

"Wuh oh." Jay El grimaced, noting the rather terrifying Bone Devil in the center of the room, the Mohrgs, Bodaks, and undead Trolls.

"Wuh oh!" Med grimaced, noting the shelves of undead goblins skeletons mixed with human skeletons above them, all armed with slings and bows.

Wasting little time, Med took to the skies and fired upon the goblins above with her searing light.

Jay El took a similar approach and attacked the other side of the room.

Ash dove headlong towards the Bone Devil itself, managing to spear it with a mighty blow.

Raelin launched a fireball, and Tribby ran and smashed the nearest skeleton.

All and all, the battle was going favorably.

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Mar 2, 2011

Seriously, sometimes those things can really cut your hand.

Manbearpig squinted and aimed his wicked-awesome bow at the target, using one of Ash's written down golden arrows.

He would break this run of bad luck, bad shots, broken bow strings, accidentally injured teammates and misfires.  He would.

Manbearpig became one with the bow, and, not unlike Luke Skywalker upon firing his photon torpeedos into the Death Star's really-should-have-had-a-grate-on-it hole, he closed his eyes, and prayed.  The arrow loosed itself, and became one with the bullseye.

"Holy Toledo!" Jay El quipped, breaking Manbearpig's trance, and informing him that he had, for the first time, made the shot.

In fact, not only did he make the shot, but, he'd made it right smack in the middle.

"I...  I did it?" Manbearpig gasped, agog.  "I DID IT!  I DIDN'T EVEN CUT MY HAND WITH THE FLETCHINGS!"

12 potions of cure light wounds popped out of the wall, and the room beyond the red line (which, for the record, he'd been standing behind like a good little druid) was engulfed in cold vapor.  "Good thing none of us were in there!" he smiled, picking up the potions, reloading, and firing again.

After that moment, it was as if a curse had finally been lifted on the druid.

"Bullseye!  Bullseye!  Bullseye!" He smiled, as more prizes, namely, 15 potions of endure elements, a wand of featherfall, and a mysterious "salve of the force" were deposited into the prizes section.

"Man!  I wish I'd had some golden arrows of my own to shoot.  I'll bet there was some other really neat prizes to be won!"

The universe glared at the pigman, accusingly.

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Mar 1, 2011

Inventory. Write 'er down, folks.

"So... the door actually says boss on it." Ash sighed, rolling his eyes.

Jay El smiled.  "Well, she's like, what, 5, mentally?"

"Regardless, I mock this as a concept."

"Moving forward..." Raelin prompted, clearly wishing to megahaduken something else.

The group entered the room, and saw a long hallway with a target at the end.  In front of them, was a red line.

"We should shoot that target." Ash said, announcing what, at least one would hope, the entire group was thinking.  "Does anyone have any golden arrows left?"

Everyone murmured about meaning to put it into their inventory at some point, but having completely forgotten, had, at some point, apparently, lost their arrows.

Ash sighed.  "Well, I still have the 4 that I picked up, earlier."

Manbearpig looked despondently down in the general region of his crotch.  He'd always had a hard time holding on to material goods.

Ash tossed the golden arrows to Manbearpig who, sadly, was the best shot of the group.

Manbearpig looked down at the arrows, back up at Ash, back down at the bow, back up at Ash, over to Raelin, back at the ENTIRE WORLD AND ALL ITS OCCUPANTS ENCOMPASSED INTO A SINGLE POINT IN SPACE (otherwise known as the DM) and, eventually, took the shot.

"Dang." he sighed.

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