Apr 16, 2010

Character Development and Elderly Women with S&M Fetishes

As the honorable Manbearpig guided the noble Gluestick into town, to which the sometimes-noble-and-honorable Jay El was currently tied as he spewed feverish and outright nasty obscenities to all that would hear, he couldn't help but remember back to when the two of them were children. Each playing with their little dolls and favorite sticks, respectively, and the hours of fun they would have debating over the ethics of nailing one toy to the other in search of realism.

Now, things were different. Manbearpig rarely got to defend his sticks or even play with them. No, his had been a tale of three long years of travel, and all his life seemed to be now, was apologising for stupidface, which was the nickname he'd unconsciously given Jay El at some point along the way as his actions continued to remind him less and less of his childhood friend.


Rhapsody made her way into town. Both thankful to have found shelter from the forests and the trails, and fearful of the new collection of hearts she seemed destined to break, and the social ostracising she seemed destined to spawn. (but not in a icky kind of way)


Manbearpig used his incredible detective skills and inquire abilities to ascertain the exact location of Gustoff.

"Hey." He said. He expected a return response, and was planning on going from there. So great was his ability to manipulate a social encounter, that he was literally improvising this one as it went.
"Good afternoon. Are ye aware that you have a stick in your hair Lad?" Came back the unexpectedly complicated reply.
"...yes." Manbearpig replied, for he was. "I put it there." he elaborated.
"...ah." The barkeep replied. "ssso..."
"I'm looking for Gustoff." He interrupted. Figuring it best to state his business before any other items of his personage were awkwardly pointed out.
"I'm an NPC" the barkeep replied. "I mean, his shop's over there, on that street, close to that thing, in the marketplace. You could miss it, but, you won't, because it's a good idea if you get over there as that's pretty much where this story's plot begins."


"YEAH! FUCK YOU!" Ash continued, screaming at the liquefied Orc, kicking various pieces of it. "MESS YOU UP!" he continued, before searching and sifting his person for treasure. "...Teach that fucker to look in any way like he was up to no good..." he mumbled to himself, riding a sweet ride of adrenalin to which he'd become addicted as he eventually found a small, unliquefied pink gem.


Ding da ding ding came the sweet chimes over Gustoff's door, as the entwigged Manbearpig entered in as magestic a manner as he was currently able. "Hey! Manboarswi, er, Manpigbe..."

"Gustoff!" Manbearpig interrupted, knowing that Gustoff's shop was more likely to close in a few hours than its owner was likely at remembering his name. Though once having been truly fantastic at adventuring, Gustoff now spent most of his time collecting memory and health enhancing artifacts, so that he could remember where he kept his other memory and health enhancing potions.

His prices had always been fair - many believed it was because he enjoyed hearing the stories of adventurers he supplied, and living vicariously through the ones that lived long enough to do so.

Gustoff himself had quite a story, but, that was another adventure altogether. The short version, is that he's pretty old and senile now, and has most of his food delivered, as having undead pick up your pizza can sometimes lead to chipping a tooth on a misplaced pinky bone.

"Hey man!" Gustoff finally finished, giving up on the exercise of naming for until after he rummaged and found another memory-stone to orbit his already somewhat cluttered upper cranium.

As Manbearpig unveiled his tale of woe in as few words as possible to Gustoff, feeling it best to be vague and general in many areas, Jay El did his best to plead with an elderly woman to let him go.


Meanwhile, Jay El, still quite mad and quite evil, was continuing to plead with an elderly woman "...And he beats me, and humps me..." he continued, somewhat unconvincingly.

The Woman looked at him with a strange amount of lust in her eyes "Then what does he do to you, you naughty boy?" Jay El gave up temporarily.

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