Sep 18, 2010

Like a dating website but with less creepy results.

Manbearpig continued down the hallway, and noted a few empty cells, and then came across a rather stout, bearded fellow who seemed to be missing his left eye.

"Ach, well now, jus' how'd yew get free then?" came his prompt response.

"Just lucky I guess." Manbearpig smiled, not wanting to give away his secrets.

"I couldda yewsed sommathah luck m'self!  How long ya been here lad?"

"Uh... maybe a few days?" Manbearpig replied.

"Ach, y'doon't say!?  I coulda yewsed that luck a feew years agoo m'self.  Are you gonna let that luck rub off on the rest of us then?"


"I get the feelin' you might noot be able to free ussall, so, allow me to shamelessly plug a few reasons whiey y'should be thinkin' dwarf over anythin' else"

"Okay.  What's your name?"

"First off, I'm a dwarf!  On my honor as a dwarf, I'm a dwarf!  And, if y'canna trust a dwarf, then, well, y'canna trust him, but y'wouldn'ta known that until after y'trusted him!"

"...right..." Manbearpig replied, somewhat following but getting lost on a few of the left turns.

"And lemme tell ya, a dwarf, which is what I am by the way, is geneeetically capable of tellin' what depth and direction they are.  Veeery helpful in things like underground prison breaks, for example."


"And, when we get out, I gotta buried treasure I can tell ye about.  Heck, if ya help me dig it out I'll spli' it with ya fifty fifty!  Whaddayasay lad?"

"Uh... I'll get back to you." Manbearpig replied.

"We have dark vision, too!  I can see without light!  I braid my privates!  Get back here lad!  You don't wanna go into a dungeon without a dwarf!  Its suicide!  C'back!  M'name's Gimley!  But I ain' t base a'tall upon any literary figure!  I doon't even HAVE an axe!  (but I can use one for the record) where ya goin' lad!?"

Manbearpig rounded a corner and noted a few more empty cells, and an emaciated, noseless, greenish figure chained to his own cell wall.  The creature looked very weak, and did not even lift its head when it spoke.  Though, when it spoke, his completely alien language reverberated within Manbearpig's own skull like an echoing, terrifying, whisper that was both loud, and quiet at the same time.

"Chooo raaah kaaa tooor ooooo skaaa skaaa skaaa skaa...."

Manbearpig, thoroughly creeped out, continued on down the hallway.

"Empty... empty... empty..." Manbearpig sounded off, dragging his chain behind him absent mindedly.  It was kind of like shopping, but not as busy as the bazaar.  A part of him understood the attraction of slavers.  Sure, it was unethical, but you got to really see some interesting things.

He stopped in his tracks.  "Wowzers." he muttered.  The hot, mostly naked girl in the cell was easily a 10.  "hommina hommina" he attempted again.  But, she was fast asleep.

He decided to go one cell over, and looked in.  Though she definitely needed a bath, there was a fairly attractive pair of breasts in the slightly darker cell which greeted his eyes.  "Noted for later." Manbearpig muttered, and explored further.

"Ah.  Stairs.  Now that is interesting..."  he concluded, and headed down.  "Big stairs, too" he noted.  "Really big..."

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