"Okay," Manbearpig attempted, "I've filled out the formal request for a day pass, which required the background check, which required the interview, which required that I pass your language and hygiene test, which should allow me to get into your citizenship office, which should allow me to apply for citizenship, which should, which should..." Manbearpig trailed off. "... I forget."
The guards took his request form. "Thank you sir. Please allow one to six weeks for processing. Do you have a stamp for your form?"
"Whu... one to six weeks!? For a form!? N... no, I don't have a stamp... where do I get a stamp!?"
"You can purchase them for one copper from our postal office." The guard informed him.
"Which is... which is where?"
"Well, we have one branch in the elven city, which is only open to residents. But we also have an external branch."
"W... where is that, then!?"
"Currently, our branch in Roe is under construction sir. We thank you for your patience."
Manbearpig shook with rage, and, just as he was about to do something the guards would regret, the ground shook with the tel-tale sound of duckephant hooves.
Manbearpig broke down in tears.