Nov 22, 2010

Abatu & Jay El dream sequence.

The mists of the ether swirled and parted through metaphor, simile and abstract impressionism as random somewhat daughter-related, somewhat wife-related, somewhat darkness-overcoming-the-soul related images cascaded through Jay El's dreamscape.

"Okay." Abatu stated, simply.  "I'm just gonna say it."

Jay El stopped flying though the mazes representing his moral dilemmas and dietary choices and looked at Abatu.

Abatu waited for a moment, and then continued.  "I'm a little pissed off at you right now."

Jay El's first girlfriend swam by with a fish for a head.

"I mean, you all go and kill a bunch of innocent bat-kids and somehow I'M the bad guy!?"

A skunk representing both guilt and a fear of farting in public places landed next to Jay El and urinated on his leg.

"Look, I'm gonna fulfill a few of my moral obligations here, so, just quit dreaming for a second, will you?  Its distracting."

Jay El nodded.  A unicorn trampled a gopher.

"I feel obligated to tell you that this douche and his lady friend are destined to accompany you on your mission to save the world, and that I used up (again) all my power getting you dipshits together."

Two slugs covered in feces made love on a painting Jay El had made in kindergarten.

"And, (seriously, what the hell is up with the slugs?) I feel obligated to tell you that some of the objects you shitballs are collecting are specifically designed to be used BY one of you asshats."

A donkey fell and dissolved, screaming into a pool of acid, referencing Joss Wheadon in an abstract manner.

"So, that's it.  We're done.  Next time you want a scapegoat to blame for your own fucking mental problems, you're going to have to blame your monkey or something."

A feminine man, neither black, nor white, walked both backwards and forwards at the same time.  

"Best of luck getting back to your daughter jerkwad."


Abatu began to fade out, and hesitated.  He squinted his eyes together as though having a particularly painful bowel movement and made the corresponding sound of "gnnnng!...FINE!  Never mind.  You won't remember this dream at all you lame as shit ball dinknose.  I can't let my personal feelings get in the way of destiny...  besides, if I wipe your memory of this dream NOW... I'll get to yell at you all over again later... after YOU contact ME.  And, let's face it.  You're only going to call when you need something."

Abatu smiled.  "Yeah.  We'll do it that way instead."

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave Feedback!
Did you laugh at a noob?
Cry at a DM's judgement call?
Scream out in agony at a spelling/grammar mistake?
Just want to flame some D&D n00bs?

Let us know!