Nov 30, 2010

I gotta talk to my manager.

"Uh huh." Abatu grunted in as sarcastic a manner as was possible.  "I see how it is, now.  Sure, you bitches get to be all up in my face when it suits you, but, as soon as some shit goes down, ooOOoh, I'd better ask Abatu for help.  He's a nice guy."

Jay El smiled weakly, noting that time had stopped and that he was not inside his body.  He looked down at it and saw all the spines clearly about to land upon him.  He would not survive.

"And what, when I said it wasn't a good idea to piss off a luck demon you didn't bat an eye, but NOW when something doesn't go your way, you immediately think of me.  How touching."

"Ummm, yeah, look, I'm sorry.  I... I kind of forgot that you weren't the thing, that gave us the whole mission and stuff... I kind of got you confused with this other thing."

"Understandable, what, we both being pink and all (apparently)"


"I suppose you have the same problem with black people all looking the same, too, right?"

"Exact... hey! no.  NO!  Hey!  Come on!  That isn't even the same..."

"Oh, of course not!  Pink is totally different.  I concede to your logic.  So.  Let's get down to business.  What the fuck do you want?"

"...not to die?"



"And I should help you because...?"

"Because... because Lydia believes in me?  Because I'm on a mission to save the world?"

"Psh.  Lydia believes in you?  Come on, dude.  You're killing innocent creatures left and right with no qualms. If anything, you're a bad guy who needs to be put down, not encouraged."

"No, NO!  Really, I'm a good person!  Its these circumstances!  They keep... well, its hard to explain, but genocide seems to be the lesser of... two... "  Jay El stopped his sentence.  "Look, that didn't come out right.  Maybe Lydia will vouch for me?"

Abatu sighed, "Its a good thing I am both immortal and able to freeze time.  Otherwise this whole thing would clearly be wasting a resource.  Go ahead.  Pray."

Jay El closed his eyes and prayed.  He prayed so hard it was like a mob boss not wanting to see his innocent daughter get tortured due to his own evil deeds.  He prayed so hard it was like someone who had eaten at Taco Bell wanting the burning squirts to stop.  He prayed so hard... oh, you get it?  Okay:  He prayed hard.

Lydia's assistant showed up and spoke to Abatu, who was incredulous, stubborn, but respectful.  "look, frankly, I'm concerned about your choice of... yes, no I see the potential desti... yeah!  No, I'm just worried that... well yeah!  Well how would YOU feel if... I suppose... sure, yeah... no it isn't just the... okay... B.... bu... . but I.... right... yes... yes... n... we... well I..."

Jay El squinted into the conversation, and looked down at his terrified body.

"...Fine.  But we're talking some serious luck manipula... yeah... okay... but how am I supposed to... right.  Yeah.  No, yeah, I get it... yeah, he's okay I guess.  Right... potential for good... the whole world?  I suppose... yeah...  but I don't wanna use up any more of his... right, greater good... okay...  maybe I could take some energy from the... yeah, right... okay.  Okay... I said okay, okay?  Okay.  Yes.  YES, I will.  YES I SAID.  Okay."

Jay El looked at Abatu with big, hopeful eyes.

"Alright.  Look, here's the deal.  I CAN help.  And, Lydia seems to think you're worth saving."

"Great, what's it going to cost me?"

"That's the thing.  I want YOU to make ME an offer.  Because this?  All this?" Abatu gestured to everything around him, including various time vortexes, the manticores, the spines and a few other random odds 'n sodds "This isn't cheap.  This isn't easy to do.  This is, quite frankly, very taxing.  I'm SUPPOSED to be resting, I'm SUPPOSED to be saving up my energy to help you friggin' later, but, here we are."

Jay El smiled.  He'd hurt Abatu's feelings, it seemed, but, things would be okay.

"I can offer you my most cherished memory.  It isn't something I offer lightly."

Abatu nodded, glad to see he'd made his point.  "Okay."

"The memory of my daughter's birth."

Abatu arched an eyebrow.  "That's a pretty good one."

Jay El lowered his head.  "For the greater good, I will do what I must.  Lydia has vouched for me, and I cannot allow this to be for nothing.  I cannot."

Abatu took a moment, and sighed.  "I... here's the thing.  There's a loooot of spines."

Jay El looked up.

"I don't really wanna take another memory from you, y'know?  I mean, you're less and less the man I hitched my wagon to, y'know?  And frankly, I'm concerned about your recent decisions.  So, I was talking with Lydia, and, this one time, I think what we could do, is basically, blow up your shield, and combine that energy with the memory.  That would boost it's output, and give me the juice I need to save you.  But then, this is kinda it, right?  I mean, I seriously need to collect my energies and you're becoming less and less a source of positivity from which to bask, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

Jay El nodded, he knew what he was sayin'.

"Alright then."

Jay El nodded again.

"Birth of your daughter, a disintegrated shield, and a not-dead you, comin' up."

: How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?


  1. Great conversation.

  2. JL's large hopeful eyes... are they like Puss-in-boots'?

  3. Similar, but more filled with the potential of doom.

    And thanks!


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