Jay El's compass leads them to the garbage dump, where they meet Shitface, the rather fecally obsessed Ogre guard.
Shitanya puts aside her Monkish dignity and earns her name, and does her part in bribing Shitface... by shitting on his face. What was truly remarkable about this bartering offer, was that Shitface had never introduced himself, nor explained his rather socially awkward desires. Somehow, she had just... known. (or, possibly, her player had been suffering from tourretes, and the DM simply capitalized on it)
And, while it wasn't very Monk-ish to offer to shit in someone's mouth, one couldn't argue with the results.
Granted, Ash did his part too, though for him, the single gold piece seemed trivial in comparison to the facial defecation that Shitanya had so generously offered.
The party cast a whisper spell on each other, went in, did a bunch of rolls to talk to the rat, and got a rather surprising "What the fuck you want?" common-tongued reply.
Skuzz endeared himself to the party, though took a distinct dislike to Shitanya, (likely due to her repeated somewhat un-monk-ish offerings of simply eating the rodent) and had her wait outside, much to Shitface's delight.
"Put a leash on yer fuckin' dawg" became Skuzz's catchphrase for the night, as he bartered with the group.
Tribby and Jay El combined into a reasonably believable good cop, while Ash played himself. The group eventually negotiated a few different trades, and ended up discovering that Skuzz actually knew a fair bit about the upcoming apocalypse, and was a fairly shrewd negotiator. Shitanya learned that Shitface knew a LOT about feces, and the different variants thereof; which, given the whisper spell's workings, made for some interesting expository dialogue.
Eventually, the party, after using Tribby's familiar as a diversion and having a brief still-surrounded-by-rats-that-are-only-a-few-feet-away "secret" discussion on weather or not to kill, steal or otherwise backstab the rats, decided it would be best to go talk to Gustoff about the 8-20 moonrocks that Skuzz had ever so politely and loquaciously requested in exchange for The Crystal.
Jay El: 1200
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