And lo' there was plot

Suddenly, PLOT erupted from Jay El's chest in the form of a pink Hologram, slightly adjusted to each player for ease of understanding.

Jay El: You see a goddess, adorned in the robes of your good god to which you immediately feel a familiar, comfortable connection.
Ash: You see a goddess, adorned in the ceremonial armor of your ancestors to which you immediately feel a familiar, comfortable connection.
Tribby: You see a half elf goddess, to which you immediately feel a familiar, comfortable connection.
Manbearpig: You see a goddess, clothed in the trappings of the wild, to which you immediately feel a familiar, comfortable connection.

Shitanya: You see a woman.

Harken to my words and know that they are the truth. Yours need not be a story of woe and dispair, but a great evil IS rising.

Ash: Of course you know, evil is just another word for challenge. For glory, for those of us who are strong enough to seize it.

Jay El: I know that you have your own evils inside you... And I also know as to how they can be beaten!

Tribby: Greater than any personal pain you are going through my child. Though I know it seems impossible, your trials with your home will seem trivial in comparison to the challenges that lay ahead. Know this, though, your home will hear of your accomplishments, and they will feel both shamed to have treated you poorly, and gratitude for your forgiveness should you provide it.

Manbearpig: Both in the world, and, from within your friend.

Sadly, the holy order charged with the protection of the device to be used to banish this evil, has failed in their task.


Ash: A true hero who is up to the challenge is required

Tribby: Clearly men were not the right choice to entrust with such power.

Manbearpig: Just as, without your help, your friend will fail in his battle against his own evil.
A man-made abomination of a creature, part Terrask, part undead, part golumn was forged one billion years ago. Its destruction proved impossible.

Jay El: I know this seems like it is too big for you, now. But know that you will grow to be a being of immense power in your search to rid yourself of your curse.

Manbearpig: Such a creature would upset the balance of nature itself.

Ash: At least... for them. Of course, we both know that impossible is a word for the weak or short sighted. I know of a way it can be destroyed, and could guide you to such a victory...

Through the collective efforts of the council of seven and thousands of their disciples, they found a way to temporarily banish the creature.


Ash: A coward's victory, and only a temporary one at that. What is needed, is a warrior who will rise to the task of this creature's destruction. With the weapons we will provide you, you could accomplish such a task. And the spoils of war would be yours to keep...

The council forged a device which required tremendous amounts of magical and physical energy... as well as the lives of its creators.
The device was deemed too powerful to be left in the hands of any one person. Its power could be used for just about anything. From the granting of wishes, to the removal of curses, to the accumulation of wealth, power, and fame.


Jay El: We could return you to your daughter, curse free. As well as provide protection for you and your family from anything like this ever happening again, with enough wealth to make all this tragedy a distant memory
Ash: Though we both know that all this would be nothing compared to what you would have achieved in the abomination's destruction.
Manbearpig: Of course those things would simply be bonuses to knowing that you'd returned the balance of nature, and the continuing prosperity of your world.
and thus it was entrusted to an ancient order of monks and clerics to protect the individual items in preparation for the abomination's return.

Sadly, as I mentioned, they were not up to the task.

Ash: They lacked the training, the discipline, and the drive of a true Dragoon. But most importantly, they lacked your courage, your bravery, and your heart.
Manbearpig They lacked an understanding of nature's ways, that few posses
Tribby: They lacked an intuition that only half of our population seem to posses (smiles)
Jay El: But where they fell, you shall rise. You have a great destiny before you.

Unfortunately, as a result of their failure, the greed of man has taken many of these artifacts and used them for their own ends.

Manbearpig: Just as they rape the forests to make their cities with no thought of the future, so too do they rape the magics to amass their petty golds and silvers while dooming us all.

The tremendous amount of energy stored within them has been corrupted and as a result, the artifacts themselves are in danger of being not fully charged at a time where they will be shortly needed.

I promise to you that if you right these wrongs, collect these artifacts, and assemble the device so that we might banish the abomination

Jay El: your curse will be lifted.
Ash: You will have your glory
Tribby: You will find your destiny, your purpose, your power.
Manbearpig: Your friend will be saved, and nature's balance restored.
Shitanya: Stuff that's cool will happen

What say you?

Jay El: Will you make an effort to save your family, save the world, and save yourself?
Ash: Are you up to the task?
Tribby: Will you embrace your greatness?
Manbearpig: Will you save your world and your friendship?
Shitanya: Will you join this cause?

They all say yes, and decidedly less rapey plot is decided!
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