Manbearpig mans up

Manbearpig looked down at his glowing handful, and noted that it had returned once more to its rock-form.

He wondered to himself if he could do the same for Jay El... was there some... magic solution to his predicament?  Was his predicament anything other than his own mental evolution?  Who was Manbearpig to stand in the way of his friend's evolution?

Manbearpig shook his head, snapped his attention back to the matters at hand, and picked up the beautifully crafted sword, which glinted in his rock's light.  

Who was he?  He was goddamn Manbearpig, that's who.  If it was up to him to save his friend, save the whole damn world, then that was just fine.

He was goddamn Manbearpig.

The sound of small, frantic footfalls assaulted his ears.  He stood, his loincloth blowing in the nonexistent breeze, told his creepy companion to lean against the wall and lurched forward with his shiny new weapon raised towards whatever it was that had slaughtered Kip.  Presumably, this had been the creature's only weapon of consequence, and it was now retreating as the tides had changed.

Focused and fierce, Manbearpig noted the creature's footfalls change

tap tap tap tap TAP.... t-tap-tap-tap tap tap tap...  

Sensing the danger, he too jumped over what was very likely another glue trap.  As he jumped, he noted a small marking upon the tile, and, as he continued his pursuit of the unseen attacker, he easily avoided all the other traps.

Oh. Right.

There was a devilish laugh from above, and the group collectively remembered that there was still a fairly large group of Kobolds on the roof.  It seemed that during the scuffle, many of them had scampered up there, some armed with more Alchemist's Fire than others.

Jay El had a thought.  "HEY!" He heyed, "HEEEY!"

The group looked at him expectantly.

"Dude, check this out:" and, with that, he cast wind wall upon the ceiling, neatly plucking each Kobold from their perches and launching them to their fiery dooms below.

As an afterthought, Jay El realized that Ash was still underneath the soon to be fiery explosions.  "Oop!" he yelled, and commanded his Hell-hound, who was conveniently immune to fire, to push Ash out of the way.

Ash glanced, saw the hell-hound lunge at him, and stabbed it with his spear.  "Stupid dog, what got... into... oh." he finished, getting surprisingly not all that burnt due to blind luck and positioning.

Burn Kobolds Burn

Tribby trundled towards the rightmost thick corner collection of Kobolds on the Eastern side of the room, whose spears were ineffectively clattering against various forms of armor, walls, and hides while doing little else.  Tribby launched yet another large cone of fire towards them, searing them horribly and evicting the type of scream on can only really hear from a 4' bipedal lizard being burned by magical flames.

Meanwhile, an equally ineffective group of javelin-equipped lizards were attacking Jay El equally as ineffectively.

Tribby's bird, Thaco, had a moment of success as it soared up and slashed the throats of the roof-Kobolds.  (most unexpected) and, as it died, everyone in the room took a brief moment to calculate the damage that 7 flasks of exploding napalm would do to what it landed on.

Being fairly good at math, Ash jumped out of the way and attacked the group on the right, leaving the group on the left to their fiery doom.

(all 'n all, fire killed about 90% of the people in this room, in one form or another)

Wanting in on the action, Ash decided to jump straight up, kill a roof-Kobold (most unexpected) and then, in a fairly spectacular feat of Spiderman-physics, back-flipped off him, landing just out of range of the resulting firebomb... which landed on the remaining group of Kobolds below.

The group collectively dusted off their hands and smiled.  "Well," Jay El smiled, "That was cool."

Seriously, Mario Jumps Less.

"Death from aboooove!" Ash bellowed, flying down on to another foe, piercing through their robes just like that scene in Star Wars where the robed guy gets whacked - only with a lot more brains and guts splattering all over the place, lizards, and air time Michael Jordon would be envious of.

The Kobolds clambered over Ash in a slough of ineffective stabbings, chittering fearfully to each other as it became increasingly apparent how ineffectual they were against his armor.

Taking his lead from Tribby, Jay El summoned a dark hellhound from the abyss.  Silently, he was grateful that his childhood friend Manbearpig, of whom he had once dazzled with the summonings of butterflies in their youth, was not there to see him spawn such a horror.

He shook his head.  Now wasn't the time.  He directed the hound to burn the phalanx of armored Kobolds.  He smiled.  Soon, they would cook like a furry shelled Rabbobster in boiling water.  But, unlike the rumors that the screams those floppy eared crustaceans emitted when they hit the boiling water, there would be no doubt as to the genuineness, nor the origin of the Kobolds' screams.

Tribby joined him with another goust of flame, and, together, they watched the platoon scream and fry within their own armor.

Jay El caught himself smiling at the thought.  When had he begun to enjoy the suffering of lesser creatures?  A javelin flew over his head as he moved towards the corner group.  When had he started thinking of any species as "lesser", for that matter?

One of the magi cast grease upon his Hellhound, causing it to slip and fall, snapping Jay El from his thoughts.

"Jumping doooooOOooom!" Ash barked, launching across the room and passing Tribby's hawk, Thaco in mid-flight.

Given the amount of time Ash spent in the air, he had plenty of time for introspection.  Had he always been this way?  Why did he feel the need to prove himself so?  Was it growing up on the streets?  The death of his parents?  The ridiculously small "GRREEAAAAAAK!!" he shook his head, distracted by the Kobold's scream and spray of blood.

Jay El looked around the room, seeing the carnage with fresh eyes.  Had he caused this?  Yes, the Kobold king was undoubtably evil, running a slave ring and attacking innocent villages... but were all Kobolds then to be treated thus?  What if partnering up with Bliznark really DID cause the death of the fairy village?  What if all this death and destruction was all his fault?  

A Kobold reared up and attacked Jay El, of whom swiped him to the side with his mace, almost absent mindedly.  What about the nursery upstairs... with all the trampled women and children?  What was the excuse for that?  Was this really who he was, now?  Murderer of the innocent?

"DIE WARMBLOOD!" the nearest Kobold screamed, its tiny eyes filled with hate and evil.

Then again... Jay El pondered, caving in it's skull.  There were probably a few Kobold slavers who were equally as evil as the King.

You don't start cooking the turkey after the guests show up

Tribby launched a cone of fire through and over the scorpion, into the waiting pyramid of armored Kobolds, which flinched under the heat of the flames.  Ash thrust his spear from beside Tribby, then, thrust it again from the other side.  The half-melted exoskeleton of the scorpion easily gave way to the punctures, and, screaming in frustration, dropped to the ground.  Jay El looked at Tribby.  "Hey, do you need any healing or anything?"

Tribby looked at him.  "Oh yeah.  I kind of forgot you could do that.  Yes, actually.  I'm borderline mortally wounded from earlier."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Odd thing to forget."

"Odd thing for YOU to forget not to offer before we broke down this door."

"Touché." He muttered, waving his hands and closing her wounds as Ash flew over their heads in the background yelling present-company-excluded-expletives about sorcerers.

Magic beams of deadly force circled around the Kobolds, over obstacles and into Tribby's fur.  She grunted.  Jay El's heal had come in the nick of time.

Breathy Swearing

In a red roverian display of force, the triumphant Trio burst through the King's door and spilled fourth into the throne room.

Tribby was the first to fully understand the scenario before them.  While the entire group clearly saw the plate mailed Kobolds in front of them, and while they all noted that the front row was armed with sword and shield, while the last row was using maces, the rest of the group only barely noticed the two groups of six in the back corners of the room, only Tribby noted the robed Kobolds nestled behind their respective corner-guards, and, only Tribby noted the four Kobolds standing rather non-nonchalant upon the ceiling.

What everyone did note, was the King in the center of the room, who promptly vanished from sight after quickly  imbuing a potion of a presumably magical nature, and, the rather humongous scorpion which suddenly appeared in front of them.

Ash swore under his breath.  He hated fighting magic users.

Tribby swore over her breath.  She loved fighting just about everything.

Jay El swore an oath parallel to his breath, and to his ideals.  He would free the slaves, he would find his companions, he would wreak havoc upon the Kobolds for putting him into this position.

KFK. (Funnier if it was spelled Cobolds...)

Manbearpig readied himself.  The tiny pitter patter of Kobold feet and Kip's helpful tips all but pinpointing their locations for him, he launched a fireball from around the corner, engulfing the Kobold in instant flames.

"YEEEEAH!" Screamed Kip, clearly enjoying his vicarious revenge.  "BURN BITCHES, BURN!"

Silently, Manbearpig wondered if the fact that the guards were obese meant that they'd taste good...  It had been a while since he'd eaten.

The Kobold redneck swore at him in its yipping, yapping language, and, then, its fingers still greasy from whatever it was that they'd been eating, he attempted to hit Manbearpig with his whip.  The grease, however, turned the strike into something more of a sloppy, almost friendly toss.

Reacting quickly, Manbearpig caught the Kobold's whip and, in one quick Jack-Burton-Its-All-In-The-Reflexes motion, attempted to attack the 'bold with it.  Failing in his attempt (though not as graphically as the Kobold) he shrugged, and hit the greasy lizard with a second fireball.  "That'll do." he smiled.

"BURN, YOU SCALED FUNGUS (fungus?  No... maybe something like... rodent... rodent?  yeah) FUCKING RODENT BITCHES! (yeah, that's more apt)"

Manbearpig shook his head.  He did not relish killing the creatures, and merely did what he needed to ensure his own survival.  Still, he could understand the malice one would tend to generate under such circumstances.  The slavery, the imprisonment... He empathized with Kip, who, Manbearpig guessed used to be a considerably more gentle soul.

What's the Kobold equivalent of Wilbur? Ksst-Klky?

"HeyKiphow'sitgoing!" Manbearpig yelped, running by Kip's cell and not waiting for a response.

"Well, behind me is burnt Kobolds and some kind of zoo, so..." He rounded the corner and shone his light upon the rather hillbilly-esque Kobold guards, who were sitting at their guard post, guarding in a somewhat guarded way, whittling, or, perhaps, picking, at their teeth with a miscellaneous bone.

While Manbearpig did not speak Kobold, he surmised that, if he had, he would have heard something to the effect of "Hey!" when they saw him.

"Whoop!  Back I go!" He skidded, pinwheeled and ran, making a mental note that, in that brief moment, he'd noticed that they'd been armed with a whip, and some sort of mace.

Seconds later, the rhythmic donking of some kind of bone drum, followed.  The bony alarm was not going to help things...  "HeyKipImworkingongettingyoufreeholdon!" He mentioned, as he ran by again, and hid in his cell; his cell door still ajar.

Suddenly, he had a flashback.  Jay El was laughing at him, giving him the simplest of riddles...  They were about 6 years old, each missing a few teeth, and having hair worthy of a Calvin and Hobbes comic book.

"Hey Boycubpiglet, when is a door, not a door?" Jay El laughed, after explaining to Boycubpiglet what a door and a jar were.

"Ummmm...." He'd ummed, doing his best to stall...

"They're circling around!" Came Kip's warning.  The flashback'ed have to wait.

Undead are the red shirts of DND.

Ash snapped awake.  He was snuggled tightly to Tribby's rank body, and beside him were hissing undead, and Jay El, who seemed to be rather excited about something.  Hitching himself up a bit by his nuts, Ash peered over Tribby's shoulders.  Kobolds in plate mail.

Now was not the time to pry Tribby's back hair from his mouth.  "What do I do!?" He yelled at nobody in particular.  Jay El turned and smiled "Kill the Kobolds"

Ash Smiled.  "Can do."

Ash flipped off of Tribby's back, out of her snuggly, and drew his spear.  Tribby launched an arc of fire while Jay El commanded his undead to attack.  They did so... very poorly.  Larry's arm fell off, flew across the room and hit Ted in the head, knocking him over.

As Ash sailed over Tribby, and over the undead, he couldn't help but smile.  It was good to be conscious in an area with vaulted ceilings again.

Taking advantage of the undead's miss-steps, the Kobolds decimated two of the four, while Jay El landed upon one of the guards and speared him quite dead.

Tribby roared and smashed one of the undead into bony fragments.  "oops!" she yelled back at Jay El.  "Sorry!  Kobolds are short!"

Jay El winced and smiled.  "Oh...  it's okay!" he said, unconvincingly.

Ash ran and stabbed the remaining Kobold guard, which lurched and looked up at him in terror.

Ash paused.  "Seriously?  You take more than one hit?" he barked, wrenching his spear out from the Kobold's body and burying it deep within him again.  "That's better." he spat, as it shuddered and died.

Jay El smiled and clapped Ash on the shoulder.  "Good to have you back m'boy."

Tribby smashed him on the back as well "Yeah!"

Bowling for Kobolds

Manbearpig, cursing and clutching at his bleeding socket, ran up the stairs in a zig zagging pattern, bouncing his shoulder painfully off the wall.  This would not due at all.  He had no weapons, no clothes, and nearly no eyes.

Thankful for the spirits of nature with which he had prepared himself in the dank corners of his cell, and, of course, for twiggy, he conjured up the fearsome ball of fire from the air around him.  Nearly instantaneously, the huge sphere of burning doom was at the top of the stairs, rolling down into the guards that were clanking up the stairs after him, presumably having had dispatched Manbearpig's crocodile already.

Manbearpig didn't even wait to hear their screams, though a part of him (likely the part of him oozing vitreous humor, blood and tears) surely wanted to.  In an all out sprint, Manbearpig careened around the corner, yelling at Gimely as he ran by.  "I'll get you outta here!"

"Ach!  Sounds geewd lad!" came his echoing reply, somewhat audioably overburdened by the sudden screams of the Kobolds which had no doubt encountered a large, fiery sphere, and his own, echoing footsteps, panicked breathing, and the pounding within his own skull.

The Many Faces of Tribby

Tribby and Jay El Engaged the king's door-guards like a well oiled mutant pro-wrestler with knives for knees and raptors for wrists.

And, as Tribby launched herself at the armored ruffians, she had a brief moment of nostalgia.

Perhaps it was the stampede she'd help cause, or the blood stains upon her naked body, or maybe it was just the simple act of running, but, for a brief moment, she recalled the many revisions she'd done to her psyche.

There had been a time where she'd been Rhapsody the orphan, Rhapsody the somewhat ethically confused failed thief of the elderly, and Tribby, the flippantly genocidal half-elf.

Then, she'd died and been reincarnated.

That'd been particularly... shaping of her personality.  She'd undergone some distinct methodology revamps after dying and being reborn in the body of a rather humongous, rather smelly Ogre.

Granted, even in the body of an Ogre, she still found a way to get raped a second time.  And sure, she sometimes acted impulsively when it came to initiating battles with the innocent.

And yes, there was a brief period where she was travel size.

All and all, she'd really gone through some changes.

As she adjusted her sleeping Dragoon nestled snugly in her snuggly, she smiled.

It was a good life, this.

Tribby glanced at Jay El and wondered if he ever reminisced like that in the middle of a battle.  Probably not, she smiled, and let out her thunderous battle cry.

Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck

It was highly likely that those below the living quarters had heard the mass panic that Jay El, his undead, his slave-friends, and the giant ogre with a club and a Dragoon in a snuggly had made.

In fact, it was a wonder it hadn't woken widdle Ash fwom his nappy time, Jay El thought, oddly in a patronizingly baby-talk-ish inner monologue.

They cared not.  The Kobolds had proven to be of little resistance thus far, and now they had a small army of badly armed slaves and a few skeletons at their beck and call.  Nothing could possibly get in their way.

...actually, yeah.  Nothing did.  A few Kobolds attempted to fight them, but, did very, VERY poorly.

Like a scene out of a three stooges Halloween special, the undead swarmed upon the Kobolds, as did Tribby, Jay El, and his pet bee.  Everyone missed everyone for several rounds.

Eventually, Moe, the Skeleton dropped his arm by accident.  One would assume this would give a tactical advantage to his enemies, but they too, were just as clumsy, and tripped over the arm, accidentally tossing their weapon into the air and hitting another Kobold, who tripped, and pushed another Kobold into the bee's stinger.

(Basically everyone rolled ones repeatedly and the resulting battle was comedic to say the least.)

Eventually, odds prevailed and the Skeletons began to break the curse, then the bee, until finally, Tribby got her first successful cleave in, and, Jay El finished the battle up with a few thwacks and suggestions to his undead Trio.

At some point Jay El had tossed his knife to the slaves, who had freed each other, and now there were even greater ranks.

Jay El told them to arm themselves and meet them up at the king's place, but they weren't going to wait for them.  Time was running out on one of his spells, and he wanted to kick some ass.

He bounded up the stairs, and reminded Larry to stop killing things and they all went together towards the Kobold King's chambers.

If you can design a better anti-theft system...

Jay El paused and grinned, and sent Tribby and three undead down the stairs.

"Guard this hole.  Kill anyone trying to go down it or trying to come out of it who is not me." he explained.  Larry (though rarely did people ask undead, they did have names) nodded and assumed a guarding position.

Briefly, Jay El considered asking Tribby to poke her head out briefly to test his system, but, decided it would be more than 25% mean to do so.

Jay El joined Tribby, and the undead, and they made their way to the slave quarters.

It isn't evil if they trample THEMSELVES...

Tribby gently adjusted her slumbering Dragoon, and wiped a bit of his drool from her shoulder.  They sure didn't look heavy, but, after a while, the lil' fellers really took their toll.

Jay El and his necrotic merry band huddled around Tribby, and whispered their plans in hushed voices, occasionally making sure that the slaves of various races and languages were following the gist.

Thankfully, it was a fairly straightforward plan, which those who did not speak any common language, would still be able to pick up within a few beats.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!!!" Tribby screamed, brandishing her club and swinging it at nothing in particular as she ran into the room.

"YO HO!" Jay El yelled after her, his necrotic followers hissing and swiping.

"Blimey!"
"Run a lot!"
"Eeee!"
"Ach, and bippy!"
and other related phrases were all yelled by the slaves.  The collective collaboration of cantankerous cacophony cleared the cluttered catacombs in a wash of utter panic and terror.

While not quite Godzilla-esque in its level of panic, it was close enough; the Kobolds dispersed, trampling their friends, babies and other loved ones in the process.

Though nobody would ever ask them, it was the most fun the undead had experienced in over 300 years.

Adorable

The slaves clustered around Jay El, and asked how they could help.  While fragile and weak, they knew a partial layout of the dungeon - that is, areas where the slaves would frequent, and, upon Jay El's prompting, they collectively drew as detailed a map as they were able.

Jay El thanked them while Tribby, frustrated with having to constantly carry the seemingly increasingly clumsy party with which she surrounded herself, fashioned a rather amazingly intricate snuggly out of the leather armors from the Kobolds, and a few strings from her short bow collection.

Jay El noted the craftsmanship.  "Y'know, that's really, really good." he complimented.  Tribby did the ogre equivilant of blushing, which was basically just a slight bowel adjustment, and thanked him for the compliment.  "I know right?  The odds of me making something this nice out of this Kobold junk is probably.. jeeze, I dunno, like one in twenty or so?"

Jay El glanced at it again "Yeah, something like that, I'd say.  I like how you even have a little adjustable strap there, for his widdle arms..."

They laughed at how precious Ash looked, snuggled into Tribby's abundant back hair, before heading back out into the dungeon.

Following the crude map, they made their way first to the hatchery, which was a huge room filled with eggs, and a few nursemaids, and, after descending again, they found the living quarters.

The place was as huge as it was cacophonous.  Stealth clearly was not an issue, but rather, their method of approach, was.  Observing that the room was primarily filled with women and children Kobolds, their plan became a little easier to grasp.

I'm looking for a twig

Jay El felt horrible about forgetting his oldest, dearest friend, passed out in the storage room.  So much had happened so quickly, that...  Jay El grimaced.  There would be no excuses.

This, like so many things, was all his fault and he'd be damned if... well, he might be damned anyway, but... he would do what he could to save his friend.

The Kobolds would likely strip him of his weapons and armor... even if they had decided to slay him rather than slave him, they would still likely take the valuables from his corpse.  It was a morbid logic, but, Jay El realized that, most likely, the thing that was the most likely to stay with Manbearpig, was his beloved twig.

Ordinary in apearance to most, Manbearpig had often spoke of how special a twig it truly was that he had in his hair.  It was, in a sense, a way for the modestly dressed fellow to have a sense of style, of individuality, and of nature.  While the twig itself began as relatively unremarkable, Jay El had seen him carve incredibly small, intricate markings into the twig.  An art that was clearly more for self expression than showboating, as the markings escaped the notice of all who did not examine the twig closely.

Jay El stood in silent prayer.  The gods may be turning upon him, but, surely they would not refuse him to help a soul as pure as Manbearpig.  He focused his energies, and a small arrow appeared before his eyes.  It wasn't much, but, at least horizontally, he knew the direction of Manbearpig's twig.  Hopefully the head to which it was attached would be nearby.

Tribby grunted, and removed their barricade.  "This really was a good idea." she hummed to herself.  "the barricade I mean.  It's just so handy to be able to get a nice, safe sleep in when we need it."

Jay El nodded, distracted.  "Come.  We must find the twig." he grunted.

Tribby shrugged and followed him to the crossroads.  "To the mines?  There might be gold!" she drooled.

Jay El smiled.  "Sure." he sighed.  The likelyhood of finding gold in a coal mine was sure to be... at least... well, not probable, but... well, anything was possible, he justified.

They tromped for a while through a few twists and turns, when, quickly, Jay El realized a familiar, if reversed, pattern.  "We go right left, right left, right left" he announced.  And the journey was quick and painless.

As they neared the end of the so-called maze, they quietly descended down some stairs, noting the tell-tale sounds of forced labor; Whips, groans, and the rhythmic sounds of pick axes descending upon hardened rock.

They all steadied themselves.  Slavers didn't sit well with any of the free-spirited group - least of all, Ash.

Peeking around the corner, they saw a wide, carved out room with a low ceiling, and trenches dug out on either side, containing the miserable workers, of which were chained together.  There appeared to be about 30 slaves, and 8 Kobold slavers.  The good news was, they seemed small, even for Kobolds.

What was most interesting to Jay El in particular, was the method of which the Kobolds were employing to sift and move the rock.  The slaves were weilding the pick axes within the trenches, and passing rocks to a small ramp into the center of the trench, approximately 50 feet from where Jay El and his party were hidden.

Inside the trench, an undead skeleton would pick up whatever was there, and bring it out of the trench, and into the center of the room, and then head back.  Jay El noted that there were two such skeletons with the same programming, mirrored on either side of the room.

In the center, were another two skeletons with similar jobs, only they would move whatever was in the center of the room, up to the entrance.  Presumably to sift it at a later time.

Jay El smiled, and explained to the party that he could control these undead, given the time to concentrate.

Taking 20 minutes to focus, the undead suddenly stiffened, and were given a different set of instructions altogether.  Kill the Kobolds.

The slavers quickly panicked as their drones appeared to revolt, and Ash and Tribby charged into the room.  Tribby tripped and fell into the ditch, and Ash jumped and smashed his head on the ceiling.  Jay El was alone in his charge, and, was quite thankful for the terrifying backup and over all wussyness of the slavers.

As they were promptly decimated, Tribby righted herself and charged anew, but, aside from a terrified straggler, the battle was over.  Ash, it seemed, was out cold.

The slaves let out their racial equivalent of a hurrah as they were freed, and armed with the Slaver's weapons, as well as fed with Jay El and Tribby's rations.

Tribby smiled, wiping the coal dust from her eyes and handed out the last of her jerky to the now smiling, now hopefully former, slaves.

As things settled down a little, Tribby's altruism ran out, and she stole Ash's rations.

Sticks & Stones 3

A Kobold snarled and sunk his short sword deep into Ash's liver, causing spurts of blood to momentarily blind it.  Just as the lucky Kobold wiped the blood from its eyes, it noted the point of a spear coming directly into them.

"Need a heal!" came Ash's curt reply, as he shook bits of Kobold off his spear and biting into his own cheek to avoid screaming.

"Metoometoometoo!" Came Tribby's insistant reply as she once again booked it like crazy as the rock creature stalked her.

Jay El, looking like a frenetic conductor on roller skates, continued running, flailing and healing as the large stone continued to chase the heroes in circles as they took pot shots at it over their shoulders.

The final Kobold, seeing his moment, booked it for the door.

Ash debated, but, figured he'd kill two birds with one stone (or at least one Kobold with one jump) as he would be getting further away from the stone behemoth, and taking one more Kobold with him in the process.

However, as Ash landed, he stumbled, and dropped his spear, allowing the Kobold time to escape.  Ash's brief moment of lameness was quickly overcome by his ability to flip in mid-air, roll, pick up his spear, and backflip next to Jay El, of whom nonchalantly (but carefully) tossed his +1 returning dagger to ash, of whom used his rather adept throwing arm to further weaken the creature, which was roaring in frustration in its attempts to peg the real Tribby, who had created several illusionary duplicates in an effort to distract and slow the creature's assault.

Drained of all magics, both Tribby and Jay El launched their own assaults.  Tribby with her mighty club, and Jay El with pebbles thrown from a piece of sling.  One had decidedly more impact, but, it was the collective thoughts that counted, and, in the end, it was Ash who struck from behind the creature, causing its gold blood to pour from its chest cavity in huge gouts.

As the beast crumbled to the floor, a collective sigh was heard.  Jay El collapsed to the floor, Tribby took a knee, and Ash leaned heaviliy upon his spear.

Ash glanced down at his fallen opponent.  "Crap, not even a diamond or something for a heart?"

"I've got lots of short bows!" came Tribby's light hearted but clearly spent reply.

XP

Ash

 Cool flips & jumps +100

 Figured out puzzle +200

 Secret Door +25

 Potion Fatassery +100

Jay El

 Vengence (poison food) +300

+5% Evil

Tribby -5% multiclass

 Freed Jay El with inginuity +200

 Morning Star Barricade +50

ALL

 First Encounter  300

 Second Encounter  750

 Third Encounter 2250

 Over all strategy 300

Ash  4025 LEVEL UP!

Jay El 3900

Tribby 3657 LEVEL UP!

Sticks & Stones 2

The rock creature roared its challenge.

Jay El sent his Wolf to bite at the creature's back, in an effort to draw its attention, and Ash finished up his Kobold.  The wolf barked and nipped at the heels of the creature, which promptly tore it in two.

Ash took measure of the vaulted ceilings, and noted his runway, lowered his proverbial flaps, and, doing a few unnecessary back handsprings for good measure, vaulted OVER the creature, cartwheeled past the angry Kobolds, and stabbed yet another guard in the face; taking but a moment to note the awesomeness of the entire transaction.  A spear glanced off his armor.  "Hm.  Back to business" he grunted, and squinted at the nearest guard.

Panting like crazy from her two-of-everything inventory, Tribby turned and looked behind her shoulder; which she only had just recently reformed thanks to Jay El's quick healing spell.  The rock creature appeared to be mowing down all in its path so that it could finish what it'd started.  "ohshitohshitohshit" she panted.

Jay El cast a few spells which would empower the party to be better prepared for the battle which would likely require them, and, noting the bifurcated wolf, quietly moved away from the creature.

Ash, noting that distracting the creature might prove to be useful on two fronts, situated himself so that there were five Kobolds between he and it, and then, threw one of his flasks of acid at the creature.  Though he missed, it is true what they say:  almost only counts in horseshoes and acid flasks... and other stuff with splash damage.

Sensing his cue, Jay El summoned a thunderclap in the center of the Kobolds, effectively stunning them, and synonymously further drawing the attention of the beast whose attention had clearly already been piqued by the burning of its bottom.

Rocky chose to attack in the general direction from whence all of this had came.  The resulting charge utterly annihilated the Kobold guards, and allowed Ash to spring off and slaughter another Kobold in the meantime.

Tribby launched a magic missile at the creature's back, once again drawing its attention.  It roared in frustration, and once again chose her as its primary target.

Sticks & Stones

The party looked at each other.

They looked back at the giant rock creature.

The rock creature snorted.

Ash jumped away and attacked one of the Kobolds.

Jay El ran the other way, summoned up a short wind-wall to keep all the rest of the Kobolds and their projectiles out, and summoned a wolf to support Ash in his less-than-epic battle.

Tribby shot the rock creature point blank in the face with fire, while incinerating its holders in the process, leaving it completely free to act, with the motivation to do so.

"Yeah!  Go team!" Tribby yelled "We're all gonna... kick... your..."  Tribby trailed off.  "Were... we... were we not attacking the big..."

The giant rock creature smashed her with huge, thunderous strikes, sending her flying against the wall.  "oh" she stammered, shakily "o-kay then, we...we're jus' gonna figh... soup?" she shook her head and, noting the creature was understandably fixated upon her, took off in a dead run yelling "healmehealmehealme!"

My name is Bal. Bal Boa. No Snake jokes.

The group made their way back, re-barricaded the door, and went down again.

Upon inspection, it was immediately surmised that the situation was dire.

There, close by, was 15 Kobolds, holding onto some chains.  Surrounding them, were 13 other, larger, sturdier Kobolds, holding onto weapons of various types.

This wasn't what immediately concerned the party.  No, what was very disturbing to them indeed, was the rather gigantic beast which appeared to be made of sentient rock, of which the small Kobolds appeared to be herding towards them.

"Woah." was their initial, collective strategy.