"We're totally winning!" Tribby yelled. Med laughed with her "Yeah!"
(it was around then that they noticed that none of the baddies had gotten to move yet)
"Oh..." Tribby attempted, as the Bone Devil slashed Ash considerably worse than he'd slashed it, and, to make matters worse, appeared to have either teleported or gone invisible.
"ssshhhiiii..." Tribby continued, as volley upon volley of stones and arrows were launched at Med, tearing through her once prudish and now somewhat Cher-ish garments. "ttttt" Tribby continued, as the Troll Skeleton and his buddies smashed her with their arms and raked her with their claws.
Jay El stared in Terror as the Bodaks approached, but, his faith seemed to preserve him from their stares of death.
Raelin wrinkled his nose. "Is that the Ghasts? Yeesh." and launched a fireball.
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Showing posts with label Med. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Med. Show all posts
Mar 6, 2011
Mar 4, 2011
Bone Thugs
"Wuh oh." Jay El grimaced, noting the rather terrifying Bone Devil in the center of the room, the Mohrgs, Bodaks, and undead Trolls.
"Wuh oh!" Med grimaced, noting the shelves of undead goblins skeletons mixed with human skeletons above them, all armed with slings and bows.
Wasting little time, Med took to the skies and fired upon the goblins above with her searing light.
Jay El took a similar approach and attacked the other side of the room.
Ash dove headlong towards the Bone Devil itself, managing to spear it with a mighty blow.
Raelin launched a fireball, and Tribby ran and smashed the nearest skeleton.
All and all, the battle was going favorably.
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Feb 23, 2011
Hydra Battle pt 3
Med blinded one head, lit afire another, and cleaved with a huge, flaming sword from the heavens down through the center mass of the creature.
Seeing the success an equipped character was having, the rest of the party followed suit. Raelin was first in line.
"Pants and fire. Pants and fire. Oh how I love, pants and fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrre...." Raelin grabbed the jewels of the creature tight in his fist "BALLS!" he yelled, erupting in an empowered conflagration of cacophonous carnage as though it were an entire fireworks display contained within a very small area, and the composer of the composition went "meh, just shoot 'em all at once"
The beast, understandably fell and died.
Everyone collected their gear, and, was reborn.
"YES." they all collectively said. "Let's go kick that bloody Petal's ass."
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Seeing the success an equipped character was having, the rest of the party followed suit. Raelin was first in line.
"Pants and fire. Pants and fire. Oh how I love, pants and fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrre...." Raelin grabbed the jewels of the creature tight in his fist "BALLS!" he yelled, erupting in an empowered conflagration of cacophonous carnage as though it were an entire fireworks display contained within a very small area, and the composer of the composition went "meh, just shoot 'em all at once"
The beast, understandably fell and died.
Everyone collected their gear, and, was reborn.
"YES." they all collectively said. "Let's go kick that bloody Petal's ass."
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Feb 22, 2011
Hydra Battle pt 2
Twelve regenerative heads upon a very sturdy body, continued chomping and eating as the party cursed and moaned that they hadn't heard Ash's recommendation of retreat, and that really, they should be allowed to time travel as a result.
Ash shrugged, and joined the fray. They would need his floppy springing and stabbing if they were to survive.
Med squinted, wondering if the beast was male or female, and noticed some sparkley gems upon the underbelly of the creature, reflected in the shiny obsidian floor. Instantly, she knew that all of her gear and, indeed, very likely within the other gems, her party's gear, resided somehow within them.
"GEMS! UNDERBELLY! GEAR!" She yelled, and baywatch ran towards the creature's genitals.
Perhaps it was her heaving bosoms. Perhaps it was that the Hydra was woefully unloved in this harsh dungeon where its only purpose had been to burst out of a wall dramatically. Perhaps it was a bad dice roll. But, it missed her entirely as she ran, slid under, grabbed her gem, and was suddenly renewed with full health, all her gear and, spells of her choosing prepared.
She smiled as she crackled with nearly forgotten abilities and energies. "The gems are good."
Everyone huzzahed (and also sighed, as she was now clothed)
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Ash shrugged, and joined the fray. They would need his floppy springing and stabbing if they were to survive.
Med squinted, wondering if the beast was male or female, and noticed some sparkley gems upon the underbelly of the creature, reflected in the shiny obsidian floor. Instantly, she knew that all of her gear and, indeed, very likely within the other gems, her party's gear, resided somehow within them.
"GEMS! UNDERBELLY! GEAR!" She yelled, and baywatch ran towards the creature's genitals.
Perhaps it was her heaving bosoms. Perhaps it was that the Hydra was woefully unloved in this harsh dungeon where its only purpose had been to burst out of a wall dramatically. Perhaps it was a bad dice roll. But, it missed her entirely as she ran, slid under, grabbed her gem, and was suddenly renewed with full health, all her gear and, spells of her choosing prepared.
She smiled as she crackled with nearly forgotten abilities and energies. "The gems are good."
Everyone huzzahed (and also sighed, as she was now clothed)
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Jan 31, 2011
Trauma
Ash opened the silver door, and noted that there was 19' drop "stairs" that went very, very far down. The rest of the group smiled, they'd already figured out this particular type of puzzle. "CLIMB DOWN!" they yelled in triumph. (and they did!)
They entered a very dark room with a very high ceiling, filled with very scary things. Specifically, dead people chained to walls who had clearly not died of natural causes.
The group heard a terrible rasp and suddenly, the chains were alive. The group fought the chains valiently, but, there seemed to be a never ending supply - Ash explored deeper, and found the chain devil responsible for all the trouble, and attacked it directly.
Med looked and, falling for the creature's illusionary spell, noted that Ash was attacking her Father! "DADDY!" she yelled, shooting a web spell at Ash and her Father in an attempt to break up the battle without harming either.
"NO!" Ash yelled, "its an illusion!" But Med was convinced the creature was her Father. As the battle continued, more and more of her friends attacked her Father, until, finally, Ash decapitated him with his silver sword which had turned silver the moment he'd touched it with the "cursed" ring.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Med screamed, holding out her hand in protest.
Raelin bent down and took some of the magic chains from the devil's body. "Sweet, these things look magic!"
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They entered a very dark room with a very high ceiling, filled with very scary things. Specifically, dead people chained to walls who had clearly not died of natural causes.
The group heard a terrible rasp and suddenly, the chains were alive. The group fought the chains valiently, but, there seemed to be a never ending supply - Ash explored deeper, and found the chain devil responsible for all the trouble, and attacked it directly.
Med looked and, falling for the creature's illusionary spell, noted that Ash was attacking her Father! "DADDY!" she yelled, shooting a web spell at Ash and her Father in an attempt to break up the battle without harming either.
"NO!" Ash yelled, "its an illusion!" But Med was convinced the creature was her Father. As the battle continued, more and more of her friends attacked her Father, until, finally, Ash decapitated him with his silver sword which had turned silver the moment he'd touched it with the "cursed" ring.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Med screamed, holding out her hand in protest.
Raelin bent down and took some of the magic chains from the devil's body. "Sweet, these things look magic!"
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Jan 25, 2011
A glimpse into the male psyche.
Med blushed, and did her best to hide her naked form.
"Oh crap, are we still all telepathically linked? I hope not. Don't think about pushing that Nun's head down and..."
"YES! WE ARE STILL TELEPATHICALLY LINKED!" Yelled Med, "STOP IT!"
"damn! She knows!" thought everyone in the party.
Raelin paused. "I hate all of you."
Oddly, that helped everyone regain their composure and focus. "Right! Let's all climb up and get the hell out of here." Ash grunted.
"Med, you go first."
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"Oh crap, are we still all telepathically linked? I hope not. Don't think about pushing that Nun's head down and..."
"YES! WE ARE STILL TELEPATHICALLY LINKED!" Yelled Med, "STOP IT!"
"damn! She knows!" thought everyone in the party.
Raelin paused. "I hate all of you."
Oddly, that helped everyone regain their composure and focus. "Right! Let's all climb up and get the hell out of here." Ash grunted.
"Med, you go first."
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Jan 21, 2011
56:34 / 60:00 Riddle my wrists, no wait, I mean...
The Party Entered the Room of Riddles
"Y'know, this is my first room of riddles" Med remarked to the rest of the party's surprise.
Glowing letters appeared in front of Manbearpig.
A king had two sons. The king was getting very old and he didn't know who to give his kingdom to. So he got his sons together for a horse race. He said Whoever's horse crosses the finish line last gets my kingdom.
So the Sons both started out moving very slow, neither one wishing to pass the other. Eventually, they noticed an old man walking past them, who they told of their race. He gave them some advice, and, they followed it and took off as fast as they could.
What was the advice?
Med paused, and whispered to Manbearpig "swap horses?"
The riddle dissolved, and more of the invisible path was made walkable.
Shimmering words appeared before Ash!
Studies have proven that cheetahs have more hair on one side then on their other side. Some people believe that this is because when Cheetahs lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a cat has more hair?
Jay El laughed, having heard this one as a child. "The outside!"
The path elongated, and shimmering words appeared in front of Jay El
What is made of wood but has never been cut?
Jay El frowned "Why did I get the retarded one? A tree."
The riddle faded, the path elongated, and words shimmered into Raelin's view.
A prison, a sanctuary, a shield and a cell, death would occur had it fell, no hinges nor doors nor windows nor lid, yet golden be what inside, is hid.
Ash pshawed, "a friggin egg, man. Everyone knows that."
The words sighed, vanished, and shimmered anew in front of Tribby.
A Falcon lays 7 eggs, they hatch and are healthy. She feeds them, cares for them, and teaches them to fly. Half of them are boys. How is this possible?
There was silence.
"Wait, why does Tribby get the hard one?" Jay El said, quite insulted. "I mean..."
"Shut up! We don't have time for this!" Raelin snapped. "it's because the Mom counts, right?"
57:12/60 - The floor sinked slightly
"Oh crap."
The group mumbled to themselves for a bit
58:15/60 "There are two yolks in one?" The floor sunk dramatically.
Ash grunted "The flying part is important..."
59:32/60:00 "Half of them are boys, and the other half are men!" Ash laughed, jokingly
The riddle dissolved. Apparently he'd been at least partially correct.
Raelin sighed "Whoever put us in here is going to die horribly."
Words shimmered in front of Med. Raelin groaned.
What is the size of an elephant, lighter than a duck, which follows both creatures?
59:55 / 60:00 "Bloody... THEIR SHADOW!" Raelin screamed.
The riddles complete, and with 5 seconds to spare, the heroes darted for the resulting opening. As they did so, they began to transform back into their bipedal, opposable thumbed, increased brain cavity selves, and, due to the remaining psychic link, heard nearly immediately what each of them thought of each other's nakedness.
What nobody expected, was that when Tribby turned back, she would split in half. The invisible path was not big enough to support both of them and, at that moment, Tribby's consciousness had to pick.
Was she to return to the ogre body, or the half elf?
XP
Quests
Surviving Petal's Right Brain: 23*75 = 1725
Killing Stuff
Ash
Medium Undead 100
(Higher CR due to nudity)
Cool Stuff
Ash
Megaraptor lone battle 300
Megaraptor teeth bashin' spiderman flippin' dinosaur ridin' 300
Ash 2425
Jay El 1725
Manbearpig 1725
Med 1725
Raelin 1725
XP
Quests
Surviving Petal's Left Brain: 29*125 = 3625
Roleplaying
Med
wanting to smash stuff in new body 20
Raelin
inner monologue 50
Manbearpig
Mr. Ed voice 50
Honors (+5% p/successful creative solution)
Med 17.5%
Raelin 25%
Ash 27.5%
Jay El 10%
Med (3625+20)*1.175 = 4283
Raelin (3625+50)*1.25 = 4594
Ash (3625)*1.275 = 4622
Jay El (3625)*1.1 = 3988
Manbearpig (3625+50)*1 = 3675
Jan 20, 2011
53:60 / 60:00 - Tick tock!
The party entered a large, five sided room with a huge, deep, dark pit being its only feature. At the bottom came the sound of rattling bones.
"Those bones sound undead." Ash grunted.
"Man, how do we get across?" Raelin squeaked, noticing Ash's increased lewd stares towards his general direction.
"Now you know how I feel" Med replied.
"We could use the spiderwalk potion on the duckephant, ride her across..."
"could go back and get all the ropes, tie them together..."
"go down and kill all the undead..."
"SAND!"
Everyone stopped. "Sand?"
Med smiled, "Yeah, sand!"
Everyone riiiiiiight-ed. "Oh yeah, the riddle. Sand. Okay..."
"So we need sand. There was that pit of quick to medium quicksand."
"Right!"
"So what do we do with it?"
"Does the undead snake have skin?"
"No."
"Hm. No sack-option, then."
"That was creative."
"Thanks."
"Could we superheat the eye dropper we used to drop the potion on tribby, and bend it around the corners, and use it to transport the sand?"
"...no."
"Okay..."
Eventually, they went back, grabbed a handful of sand, and threw it into the pit, showing an invisible bridge.
"Ooooh, like that movie!" they all ooohed. "Right right."
They ran back, got more sand, and made clear the method with which they were to cross.
They all celebrated and took a moment to congratulate each other on their collective intelligence.
"I'm the most edible creature here - hurry the fuck up!" Raelin interjected.
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53/60 Raelin: "I'm the most edible creature here, hurry the fuck up."
Jan 19, 2011
50:22 / 60:00 You, solve the antilife equation!
The group opened up the door, and was met with a riddle, the answer was sand, but Ash swore the answer was time. Regardless, eventually, Med got the answer "right".
After that, nothing seemed to happen, which was something of a let down. There'd been a riddle on a wall, they'd answered the riddle, and nothing had happened.
Previous DND experiences had not prepared them for this. (it was at this point that it occured to the DM to start putting riddles randomly on all sorts of walls, simply to detain the party - however, in this case, answering the riddle would prove useful... shortly)
"Hey, that's a large, undead snake with a key around its neck." said Med, wanting to have some dialog.
Thinking quickly, Raelin came up with the basic strategy. "You, the one who is thinking of eating me, go distract the snake by getting too close to its biting mouth."
"Okay!"
"And you, fatty, step on it."
"Okay!"
"And you, fly over there and grab the key."
"Okay!"
It all worked.
(What can I say? It wasn't all that dramatic)
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After that, nothing seemed to happen, which was something of a let down. There'd been a riddle on a wall, they'd answered the riddle, and nothing had happened.
Previous DND experiences had not prepared them for this. (it was at this point that it occured to the DM to start putting riddles randomly on all sorts of walls, simply to detain the party - however, in this case, answering the riddle would prove useful... shortly)
"Hey, that's a large, undead snake with a key around its neck." said Med, wanting to have some dialog.
Thinking quickly, Raelin came up with the basic strategy. "You, the one who is thinking of eating me, go distract the snake by getting too close to its biting mouth."
"Okay!"
"And you, fatty, step on it."
"Okay!"
"And you, fly over there and grab the key."
"Okay!"
It all worked.
(What can I say? It wasn't all that dramatic)
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Jan 18, 2011
47:26 / 60:00 Oh right, you're a bird.
The group entered the giant, awe inspiring, terrifyingly complex maze. It was truly terrifying. Everyone collectively gulped.
Someone noticed that the maze was only 20' high.
Someone remembered Tribby was a falcon.
The group sighed a sigh of relief.
In the center, was a suspended pillar, with a cage upon it. The key that they required was inside the cage.
Tribby flew up to the cage and noted that she could peck and hold the key in her mouth, but, that it was too big to pull free of the bars.
Med had a thought: "What if we shrunk Tribby so she could get into the cage?"
It was close enough. Tribby gripped the key, the group poured the shrink animal potion upon her, she, and all that she held, shrunk with her, she then pulled the key free of the cage, and enlarged.
After that, she simply flew back, and the group opened up the door.
"This is getting easy!" the group laughed and chuckled merrily to one another.
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Someone noticed that the maze was only 20' high.
Someone remembered Tribby was a falcon.
The group sighed a sigh of relief.
In the center, was a suspended pillar, with a cage upon it. The key that they required was inside the cage.
Tribby flew up to the cage and noted that she could peck and hold the key in her mouth, but, that it was too big to pull free of the bars.
Med had a thought: "What if we shrunk Tribby so she could get into the cage?"
It was close enough. Tribby gripped the key, the group poured the shrink animal potion upon her, she, and all that she held, shrunk with her, she then pulled the key free of the cage, and enlarged.
After that, she simply flew back, and the group opened up the door.
"This is getting easy!" the group laughed and chuckled merrily to one another.
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Jan 16, 2011
37:11 / 60:00 +4 to all lice checks
Raelin attempted to snap, failed, attempted to facepalm his forehead, failed, and eventually, simply announced "D'oh! I'll be right back."
Quickly, he (taking Med with him) went back to the first room, got Med to lower him into the pit with her trunk, scurried across, gnawed a rope, had Mr. Jangles... that is, Jay El, grab the rope and bring it back, nailed the rope to the wooden floor, and tossed it across for Shibou, that is, Med, to grab with her trunk, and then had the Monkey go across the rope followed shortly by Raelin.
"There." he smiled. +1 to monkey!
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Quickly, he (taking Med with him) went back to the first room, got Med to lower him into the pit with her trunk, scurried across, gnawed a rope, had Mr. Jangles... that is, Jay El, grab the rope and bring it back, nailed the rope to the wooden floor, and tossed it across for Shibou, that is, Med, to grab with her trunk, and then had the Monkey go across the rope followed shortly by Raelin.
"There." he smiled. +1 to monkey!
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Jan 15, 2011
29:56 / 60:00 I use the same reasoning in my porn career
"I'm growing increasingly impatient with all this being-a-rat-and-not-being-able-to-light-people-on-fire... thing."
"Quiet Raelin."
"I'm just saying."
Ash surveyed the area, and noted that there was a hallway with a slow, crushing ceiling "trap" in it which seemed activated by a pressure plate. "Hmm... I could run to the end of the hallway before that ceiling crushed me I'll bet." he thought to himself.
"Shouldn't we send the cheetah?" Came Jay El's reply.
"I am the cheetah! Listening skills!"
"Oh. Right."
"I wanna step on the pressure plate!"
"NO! That triggers the crushing ceiling trap!"
"But I'm huge!"
Raelin paused and put his rat hand on Med's giant leg "That is not a good reason" he whispered softly.
"...oh."
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Jan 14, 2011
15:03 / 60:00 Them Duckephant's is goooood eatin'
Med, forgetting that her brain was on an internal loudspeaker in the group's collective mind, fantasized about drinking the spiderwalk potion while singing to herself "spider duckephant, spider duckephant, does whatever a... spiderduckephant... does..."
"Med, seriously. Shut the hell up." Ash snapped. "We're trying to figure out what to do with the damn potion."
"Damn, I shouldn't snap at people like that... I'm just so damn hungry... man, I think I'll eat Raelin first. Little piss ant's probably never been laid in his entire million year life, so his meat'd be clean... of course... he's a rat... damn. Rats aren't nearly as good eating as say... a whole duckephant..."
The group collectively ahemed.
"Oh right. Communal mind... spi...der... duck...ephant... spider... duckephant... does... whatever a... spider duckephant does.." he sang, sheepishly. (or rather, Cheetahily)
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"Med, seriously. Shut the hell up." Ash snapped. "We're trying to figure out what to do with the damn potion."
"Damn, I shouldn't snap at people like that... I'm just so damn hungry... man, I think I'll eat Raelin first. Little piss ant's probably never been laid in his entire million year life, so his meat'd be clean... of course... he's a rat... damn. Rats aren't nearly as good eating as say... a whole duckephant..."
The group collectively ahemed.
"Oh right. Communal mind... spi...der... duck...ephant... spider... duckephant... does... whatever a... spider duckephant does.." he sang, sheepishly. (or rather, Cheetahily)
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Jan 10, 2011
That's REALLY pure.
WaaaaaaaPOOF
"Well." Raelin thought to the group. "That was disappointing."
Jay El smiled. "Yes, thank you. I'm fine."
Jay El investigated the Bear, and noted that it had an intricate belt, as well as a hammer, a tool belt, and a nail.
"Hmm..."
No synapses sparking immidiately, he continued on and investigated the grate, and the peg.
"Poke the peg!" Ash thought, impatiently.
He did so.
Nothing happened.
"Pull the peg!"
"(really, I think it's just a...)"
"PULL THE PEG!"
Jay El sighed and pulled the peg.
Nothing happened.
"TURN THE PEG!"
"(oh for crying out...)" Jay El sighed, and banged, pulled, twisted and blew on the peg suggestively. "There! Satisfied? It's JUST A PEG!"
Raelin looked down at the spiked pit. "Hey, fat-ass" he thought at Med - "Lower me into the pit... carefully." and, then, impatiently, "I'm small enough that I can navigate the pit and explore without getting skewered."
Surprisingly, Med had no evil thoughts to drop Raelin's ass on a spike; (She was just that pure) and gently lowered him in.
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"Well." Raelin thought to the group. "That was disappointing."
Jay El smiled. "Yes, thank you. I'm fine."
Jay El investigated the Bear, and noted that it had an intricate belt, as well as a hammer, a tool belt, and a nail.
"Hmm..."
No synapses sparking immidiately, he continued on and investigated the grate, and the peg.
"Poke the peg!" Ash thought, impatiently.
He did so.
Nothing happened.
"Pull the peg!"
"(really, I think it's just a...)"
"PULL THE PEG!"
Jay El sighed and pulled the peg.
Nothing happened.
"TURN THE PEG!"
"(oh for crying out...)" Jay El sighed, and banged, pulled, twisted and blew on the peg suggestively. "There! Satisfied? It's JUST A PEG!"
Raelin looked down at the spiked pit. "Hey, fat-ass" he thought at Med - "Lower me into the pit... carefully." and, then, impatiently, "I'm small enough that I can navigate the pit and explore without getting skewered."
Surprisingly, Med had no evil thoughts to drop Raelin's ass on a spike; (She was just that pure) and gently lowered him in.
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Jan 9, 2011
Monkey go splat splat cows go moo
Med looked down at her trunk, and over at Jay El's tiny Monkey body and smiled.
"I could totally throw you."
"What, across the river of spikes!?"
"Sure. You'd land safely."
"right, because... when a gigantic creature hurls a tiny creature across a huge abyss, that always ends well."
Raelin smiled and everyone heard his evil thought.
"Shut up Raelin." Ash grunted. "Med, throw Jay El across, and aim for the stuffed bear."
Jay El brightened. "At least I have the potential for a soft landing, that way!"
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"I could totally throw you."
"What, across the river of spikes!?"
"Sure. You'd land safely."
"right, because... when a gigantic creature hurls a tiny creature across a huge abyss, that always ends well."
Raelin smiled and everyone heard his evil thought.
"Shut up Raelin." Ash grunted. "Med, throw Jay El across, and aim for the stuffed bear."
Jay El brightened. "At least I have the potential for a soft landing, that way!"
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Jan 8, 2011
Jay El loses his jewels.
Thanks to the mental connection the entire party was sharing, everyone was privy to the innermost thoughts of the party, weather they wanted to be, or not.
"I think that I'm a fucking cheetah!"
"Rat hands!"
"Monkey hands!"
"Can I make a wish on your hands?"
"I'll make a wish for you! (oh good, middle fingers yay for opposable thumbs!)"
"Everyone shut up! We're all inside our animals"
"I'm a horse. (do doo do d-doo)"
"Was anyone awake when this happened?"
"I was. World got shimmery. Nobody around, nuthin'"
"Jewel-less! I feel so separated from my divinity!"
"I could totally smash that door! I'm freaking HUGE!"
"Hold the hell on!"
The Cheetah (Ash) opened the door. "Sheesh. You get trapped in an animal's body and you get all panicky."
Ash paused and looked at some of the smaller animals in the party. This Cheetah hadn't eaten in a while.
"We should get moving." he muttered, noting that the rest of the party was well aware of his hunger pangs, and hoped that they understood the severity of his request.
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"I think that I'm a fucking cheetah!"
"Rat hands!"
"Monkey hands!"
"Can I make a wish on your hands?"
"I'll make a wish for you! (oh good, middle fingers yay for opposable thumbs!)"
"Everyone shut up! We're all inside our animals"
"I'm a horse. (do doo do d-doo)"
"Was anyone awake when this happened?"
"I was. World got shimmery. Nobody around, nuthin'"
"Jewel-less! I feel so separated from my divinity!"
"I could totally smash that door! I'm freaking HUGE!"
"Hold the hell on!"
The Cheetah (Ash) opened the door. "Sheesh. You get trapped in an animal's body and you get all panicky."
Ash paused and looked at some of the smaller animals in the party. This Cheetah hadn't eaten in a while.
"We should get moving." he muttered, noting that the rest of the party was well aware of his hunger pangs, and hoped that they understood the severity of his request.
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Jan 6, 2011
Killing the kid, not evil. Raising his pet as a skeleton: evil? Psh, your ethics are whack, yo.
The world faded back into view as Med's holy powers sealed Raelin's neckhole shut (the bad hole, not the good one used for breathing) and he swore angrily at the indignity of it all, glaring for someone to phantasmly kill. He noted that Tribby seemed to be underneath a Dire Bear, and opted to zap... the bear.
Tribby didn't notice right away, and did a conan-fights-the-rubber-snake (otherwise known as the sacred son of Set) for a bit, before shrugging the behemoth off of her.
The young Troll had stabbed her a few times while the Bear had held her down (whilst mauling!) and she was leaking rather poorly.
Meanwhile, Ash was holding his own against the larger Troll, though it too, was holding its own against him.
Jay El rushed to Tribby's aid, and like a feminine hygiene product advertisement, helped absorb much of her leakage; unlike a feminine hygiene ad, he then sealed the hole from whence the liquid had came.
As a group, they all slew the remaining Trolls.
Jay El looked down at the aborted Father-son picnic, and sighed "is this evil? Are we doing evil again?" it was getting very difficult for him to tell the difference.
"What? Pfft, they shot first, dude." Came Ash's reply.
"Oh." Jay El lamented. "Cool." Then, after a second "hey, do you think I could raise the corpse of any of these things to serve my dark desires?"
Ash smiled. "Nah, probably too many hit dice."
Jay El frowned. "Yeah."
"You could raise it though... make the dire bear undead."
"True..."
"But you couldn't control it."
"...no."
"XP..."
The banter continued for a while on the logistics behind raising enemies simply to kill them, and, in the end, the party continued its journey northward up the mountains, eventually stopping in a rather pleasant (if still frightfully cold) section of rocks, to bunker down for the night. (or hunker)
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Tribby didn't notice right away, and did a conan-fights-the-rubber-snake (otherwise known as the sacred son of Set) for a bit, before shrugging the behemoth off of her.
The young Troll had stabbed her a few times while the Bear had held her down (whilst mauling!) and she was leaking rather poorly.
Meanwhile, Ash was holding his own against the larger Troll, though it too, was holding its own against him.
Jay El rushed to Tribby's aid, and like a feminine hygiene product advertisement, helped absorb much of her leakage; unlike a feminine hygiene ad, he then sealed the hole from whence the liquid had came.
As a group, they all slew the remaining Trolls.
Jay El looked down at the aborted Father-son picnic, and sighed "is this evil? Are we doing evil again?" it was getting very difficult for him to tell the difference.
"What? Pfft, they shot first, dude." Came Ash's reply.
"Oh." Jay El lamented. "Cool." Then, after a second "hey, do you think I could raise the corpse of any of these things to serve my dark desires?"
Ash smiled. "Nah, probably too many hit dice."
Jay El frowned. "Yeah."
"You could raise it though... make the dire bear undead."
"True..."
"But you couldn't control it."
"...no."
"XP..."
The banter continued for a while on the logistics behind raising enemies simply to kill them, and, in the end, the party continued its journey northward up the mountains, eventually stopping in a rather pleasant (if still frightfully cold) section of rocks, to bunker down for the night. (or hunker)
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Jan 5, 2011
Father Son Picnic.
"PELOR'S NUTS!" Med shrieked as Raelin's face was skewered.Ash readied himself, spear in hand and looked in the trajectorial direction indicated by the tilt of Raelin's head (back, and to the... right, actually. Nuts, could have made a JFK joke there.) and saw a very large Dire Bear.
"Hm." Ash grunted. Bears didn't usually throw spears, but, dire bears were known to be worthy adversaries.
Behind the behemoth was an average sized Troll, with his arm outstretched.
"Hm." Ash grunted, finding the culprit. Trolls were generally worthy adversaries. The combo of the two would prove to be an interesting battle.
"Broak borksh dorg!" The Troll's father smiled, patting the boy on the back.
"HM." Ash grunted. "Heal the elf." he sighed; which was his version of asking for help.
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Dec 23, 2010
Oh right, the Ogres.
They didn't sleep long.
While nestled safely within the large pit with a choke point as an entrance, surrounded by slaves, and the corpses of people who were expected home hours ago ($15,000 richer, mind you - so less likely to be forgotten), the unthinkable happened. The Ogres, who lived about an hour away, went to investigate.
The party, who had opted to borderline use the corpses of the fallen Ogres as mattresses in the very quarry that was to be the staging ground for the Ogre/Goblin exchange of goods, was very surprised to discover that they were surrounded by a rather angry collection of Ogres, who, again, unthinkably, were concerned as to the location of their money, as well as the condition of their fallen allies littered about the area.
Ash, who hadn't been sleeping, was the first to note that there was an Ogre at the entrance of the quarry.
"YOU..." said the Ogre, as Ash launched himself into the air, spear-first. "...HAVE..." he manged to say, before Ash's spear sunk into the Ogre's throat. (the next word was somewhat muffled as a result of the damage to the Ogre's speaking apparatus)
The rest of the party awoke with a fright. Jay El, most surprised that any fools would attack such a well fortified position, began a prayer just as a huge boulder landed on him, squishing him quite flat.
It seemed that the well fortified position had a few small flaws. The Ogres had the high ground, and were concealed, and the party had only one way out.
Raelin noted the flattened Cleric's twitching hand and turned invisible. Another huge rock landed right next to him. He took a step to the left and hugged the rock. "At least this way, the next rock'll probably hit this boulder instead of me..." he silently reasoned to himself.
Tribby cast mirror image. It wouldn't help much for the boulders, who, as near as anybody could tell, were simply being thrown in blind like well placed artillery, but, it would help her when she decided to leave the pit and attack. (though, to be honest, she wasn't too thrilled about that option, either)
Med reached down and attempted to heal Jay El, but, the fact that he was two dimensional made it difficult. Tribby reached down and helped heave the boulder off of his corpse; at which point Med's healing was considerably more effective.
Tribby had a thought, and pulled out her wand of greater illusion. "Bibbidy bobbidy squiggley spooch! Make a ginormous bullet monster shoot out of the ground and scare everyone!" she rhymed.
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While nestled safely within the large pit with a choke point as an entrance, surrounded by slaves, and the corpses of people who were expected home hours ago ($15,000 richer, mind you - so less likely to be forgotten), the unthinkable happened. The Ogres, who lived about an hour away, went to investigate.
The party, who had opted to borderline use the corpses of the fallen Ogres as mattresses in the very quarry that was to be the staging ground for the Ogre/Goblin exchange of goods, was very surprised to discover that they were surrounded by a rather angry collection of Ogres, who, again, unthinkably, were concerned as to the location of their money, as well as the condition of their fallen allies littered about the area.
Ash, who hadn't been sleeping, was the first to note that there was an Ogre at the entrance of the quarry.
"YOU..." said the Ogre, as Ash launched himself into the air, spear-first. "...HAVE..." he manged to say, before Ash's spear sunk into the Ogre's throat. (the next word was somewhat muffled as a result of the damage to the Ogre's speaking apparatus)
The rest of the party awoke with a fright. Jay El, most surprised that any fools would attack such a well fortified position, began a prayer just as a huge boulder landed on him, squishing him quite flat.
It seemed that the well fortified position had a few small flaws. The Ogres had the high ground, and were concealed, and the party had only one way out.
Raelin noted the flattened Cleric's twitching hand and turned invisible. Another huge rock landed right next to him. He took a step to the left and hugged the rock. "At least this way, the next rock'll probably hit this boulder instead of me..." he silently reasoned to himself.
Tribby cast mirror image. It wouldn't help much for the boulders, who, as near as anybody could tell, were simply being thrown in blind like well placed artillery, but, it would help her when she decided to leave the pit and attack. (though, to be honest, she wasn't too thrilled about that option, either)
Med reached down and attempted to heal Jay El, but, the fact that he was two dimensional made it difficult. Tribby reached down and helped heave the boulder off of his corpse; at which point Med's healing was considerably more effective.
Tribby had a thought, and pulled out her wand of greater illusion. "Bibbidy bobbidy squiggley spooch! Make a ginormous bullet monster shoot out of the ground and scare everyone!" she rhymed.
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Dec 21, 2010
Oy, in verse.
Ash blinked.
Med snored.
Raelin frowned into his meditation.
Ash blinked again. "I think I'm gonna go see what Tribby and Manbeardufus are up to." he grunted. "Hey, Med. C'mon."
"zzzzzz (snort) muaAh? Gwah? Huh?"
"Shut it, let's go already. I'm bored."
"mmm... okay. By slavies." She mumble-purred like a drunk kitten getting out of a pile of other, slightly smellier, clearly more disheveled kittens at the kitty equivalent of a frat party.
"..sh, should we just leave Raelin here?" She yawned
"Fuck 'em?" Ash replied in his most reasoning and sympathetic tone.
Med nodded, understandingly.
They tromped through the forest for about two minutes, when Ash suddenly heard a rather large clatter...
Anyway, Tribby ran with Jay El palmed like a football, and spotted Ash; to whom she yelled the warning that there were 6 Ogres behind her, but kept running. Manbearpig road beside them, seeing nobody and saying nothing.
Jay El waited for the Ogres to pass, and jumped down and killed one of them. The rest scattered in 5 different directions and ran away.
Meanwhile, Shibou was trampling her way back to the quarry, following Thaco. The elephant ran riiiiiight up to Raelin, who chanced interrupting his meditation to peak out of one, fairly concerned eye... but the duckephant stopped in front of him and snorted.
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Med snored.
Raelin frowned into his meditation.
Ash blinked again. "I think I'm gonna go see what Tribby and Manbeardufus are up to." he grunted. "Hey, Med. C'mon."
"zzzzzz (snort) muaAh? Gwah? Huh?"
"Shut it, let's go already. I'm bored."
"mmm... okay. By slavies." She mumble-purred like a drunk kitten getting out of a pile of other, slightly smellier, clearly more disheveled kittens at the kitty equivalent of a frat party.
"..sh, should we just leave Raelin here?" She yawned
"Fuck 'em?" Ash replied in his most reasoning and sympathetic tone.
Med nodded, understandingly.
They tromped through the forest for about two minutes, when Ash suddenly heard a rather large clatter...
and wondered just what, if anything, was the matter.
Deciding to jump up the tree with care,
he looked down at med and noticed the majority of her chest was bare.
he looked down at med and noticed the majority of her chest was bare.
"Thank Pelor for your cleavage" he thought to himself,
"those babies could hold snacks just like a shelf."
Tribby ran through the forest, smashing down trees,
as though panic stricken and fearful of a hive of bees.
But bees weren't what made Tribby run quite so fast,
but rather t'were Ogres bearing down upon her mast.
Six, to be precise, were chasing her so,
Six of the ogres were what came from Roe.
"Oh Shit!" Med squeeked, climing a tree of her own,
being less able to leap up on her... own.
"There's Ogres coming, and they're coming fast!"
Ash laughed to himself and stared at her ass...t?
...
Anyway, Tribby ran with Jay El palmed like a football, and spotted Ash; to whom she yelled the warning that there were 6 Ogres behind her, but kept running. Manbearpig road beside them, seeing nobody and saying nothing.
Jay El waited for the Ogres to pass, and jumped down and killed one of them. The rest scattered in 5 different directions and ran away.
Meanwhile, Shibou was trampling her way back to the quarry, following Thaco. The elephant ran riiiiiight up to Raelin, who chanced interrupting his meditation to peak out of one, fairly concerned eye... but the duckephant stopped in front of him and snorted.
| DM's Note: What's with the Christmassy rhyming all of a sudden? I have no idea where that came from, sorry folks. Secondary note: No, I don't know how Jay El got to Tribby to be carried like a football. One of those "I assumed I went with them" things. |
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