(seriously, so much cool stuff)

The battle waged on, but, alas, despite the uber-ness of the Dragon, t'was not enough to kill off the party.  (er... I mean... verily the party overtook the dragon and there was much rejoicing)

The Dragon fell to the ground, defeated, and, suddenly, the world began that weird, Zelda-esque world-fade-out-thing, and, the party realized that they each had just enough time to grab a single item before the world faded out completely.

However, as the group was rather innovative, they all managed to cheat with various speed enhancing or quick-locating options, and, were able to snag multiple swags.

Including:

  Shirt of bone Damage reduction 3/bludgeoning

  Horned Helm 1d8 +1/2 str  (extra attack)

  Ring of wizardry I Doubles 1st-level spells per day

  Ring of protection +3 +3 deflection bonus to AC

  Belt of giant strength +6 +6 enhancement bonus to Str

  Variable Shield - from buckler to tower

  Fleshgrinding throwing axe 1d6

  Crystal of life drinking, least Heal 1 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 10 damage per day 

  Crystal of life drinking, greater Heal 5 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 50 damage/day 

 AMULET OF EMERGENCY HEALING 1d4+5 (yourself or others, instant) 3x p/day

 Crystal [DR 5/—, prevents up to 50 damage per day]

 Cloak of arachnida Various web and spider-based effects 

 Cloak of weaponry Store one Medium weapon 

  Fish Tank

  Belt of hidden pouches Holds items in 30 pockets, which function as small bags of holding 

  (Filled with sooooo much cool stuff)

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Hit 'em high, hit 'em high

The group landed in a icy cave, and noted that the icy walls were filled with diamonds, as well as seemingly masterwork items, rings, pendents, cloaks, and a few lesser gems and seemingly mundane items as well.

"Jackpot!" Yelled Raelin as the group landed upon a icy mound which roared and stood up upon their descent.

"Dragon!" yelled Ash, and, silently to himself, "(about friggin' time)"

The white dragon roared its challenge upon the party and shot fourth its icy breath, freezing many of them in place while Ash and Raelin managed to dodge in time.

"I'll hit him high!" is what one of them should have yelled, or, optionally "you hit him low" would have worked just as well, assuming cooperative and amicable teamwork.

However, Ash jumped high, and Raelin shot fireball high.  Both... hit the dragon.  One hit the dragon... and Ash, who steamed, angrily (and due to the heat).

"Totally accidental!" Raelin yelped, surprisingly sincere.

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Xylophone Ribs

Tribby smashed and cleaved through the ribs of multiple skeletons, making a pleasant sequence of notes upon their bodies with her club as they were smashed asunder.  Ash yelped in surprise as 4 more of the bone creatures appeared around the room, and an invisible creature stabbed him between his own, considerably less musical ribs.  "They can go invisible!" he yelled, lashing out violently towards the supposed location of his attacker.

Med launched another scorching ray, dodging the retaliatory hail of arrows and stones.  Jay El looked to his right and noted that one of the bone demons which had just appeared was right next to him.  "oh." he said, as he was stabbed in the shoulder.

Manbearpig aimed his bow and snapped his bowstring again.  "fiddlesticks." he murmured.

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uhh... Fifty Cent?

"We're totally winning!" Tribby yelled.  Med laughed with her "Yeah!"

(it was around then that they noticed that none of the baddies had gotten to move yet)

"Oh..." Tribby attempted, as the Bone Devil slashed Ash considerably worse than he'd slashed it, and, to make matters worse, appeared to have either teleported or gone invisible.

"ssshhhiiii..." Tribby continued, as volley upon volley of stones and arrows were launched at Med, tearing through her once prudish and now somewhat Cher-ish garments.  "ttttt" Tribby continued, as the Troll Skeleton and his buddies smashed her with their arms and raked her with their claws.

Jay El stared in Terror as the Bodaks approached, but, his faith seemed to preserve him from their stares of death.

Raelin wrinkled his nose.  "Is that the Ghasts?  Yeesh." and launched a fireball.

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Bone Thugs

The group entered the BOSS ROOM, and, similar to a Megaman boss level, the doors closed and vanished behind them.

"Wuh oh." Jay El grimaced, noting the rather terrifying Bone Devil in the center of the room, the Mohrgs, Bodaks, and undead Trolls.

"Wuh oh!" Med grimaced, noting the shelves of undead goblins skeletons mixed with human skeletons above them, all armed with slings and bows.

Wasting little time, Med took to the skies and fired upon the goblins above with her searing light.

Jay El took a similar approach and attacked the other side of the room.

Ash dove headlong towards the Bone Devil itself, managing to spear it with a mighty blow.

Raelin launched a fireball, and Tribby ran and smashed the nearest skeleton.

All and all, the battle was going favorably.

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Hydra Battle pt 3

Med blinded one head, lit afire another, and cleaved with a huge, flaming sword from the heavens down through the center mass of the creature.

Seeing the success an equipped character was having, the rest of the party followed suit.  Raelin was first in line.

"Pants and fire.  Pants and fire.  Oh how I love, pants and fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrre...."  Raelin grabbed the jewels of the creature tight in his fist "BALLS!" he yelled, erupting in an empowered conflagration of cacophonous carnage as though it were an entire fireworks display contained within a very small area, and the composer of the composition went "meh, just shoot 'em all at once"

The beast, understandably fell and died.

Everyone collected their gear, and, was reborn.

"YES." they all collectively said.  "Let's go kick that bloody Petal's ass."

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Hydra Battle pt 2

Twelve regenerative heads upon a very sturdy body, continued chomping and eating as the party cursed and moaned that they hadn't heard Ash's recommendation of retreat, and that really, they should be allowed to time travel as a result.

Ash shrugged, and joined the fray.  They would need his floppy springing and stabbing if they were to survive.

Med squinted, wondering if the beast was male or female, and noticed some sparkley gems upon the underbelly of the creature, reflected in the shiny obsidian floor.  Instantly, she knew that all of her gear and, indeed, very likely within the other gems, her party's gear, resided somehow within them.

"GEMS!  UNDERBELLY!  GEAR!" She yelled, and baywatch ran towards the creature's genitals.

Perhaps it was her heaving bosoms.  Perhaps it was that the Hydra was woefully unloved in this harsh dungeon where its only purpose had been to burst out of a wall dramatically.  Perhaps it was a bad dice roll.  But, it missed her entirely as she ran, slid under, grabbed her gem, and was suddenly renewed with full health, all her gear and, spells of her choosing prepared.

She smiled as she crackled with nearly forgotten abilities and energies.  "The gems are good."

Everyone huzzahed (and also sighed, as she was now clothed)
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Hydra Battle!

One would imagine that a beast so terrifying that Ash, the fearless springer and stabber of many would recommend a retreat, would, at the very least, make an impact on the rest of the group.

However, they weren't listening to Ash, or, felt that his opinion didn't matter.

Floppily, they nakedly charged the beast.  Some floppily attacked, others floppily cast some spells which required little to no spell components.

Ash sighed and watched them all floppily run to their doom.  "Hello?" he said again, "retreat?"

"what!?" they all yelled back, getting eaten by the hydra.  "Why didn't you say so earlier!?"

: Sorry for the long delay in posts, folks.  Things are back up and running now.  We might be putting this adventure on hold and starting up a new one, but, do not fear, for the n00bs will be there, in some form or another, regardless :)

Trauma

Ash opened the silver door, and noted that there was 19' drop "stairs" that went very, very far down.  The rest of the group smiled, they'd already figured out this particular type of puzzle.  "CLIMB DOWN!" they yelled in triumph.  (and they did!)

They entered a very dark room with a very high ceiling, filled with very scary things.  Specifically, dead people chained to walls who had clearly not died of natural causes.

The group heard a terrible rasp and suddenly, the chains were alive.  The group fought the chains valiently, but, there seemed to be a never ending supply - Ash explored deeper, and found the chain devil responsible for all the trouble, and attacked it directly.

Med looked and, falling for the creature's illusionary spell, noted that Ash was attacking her Father!  "DADDY!" she yelled, shooting a web spell at Ash and her Father in an attempt to break up the battle without harming either.

"NO!" Ash yelled, "its an illusion!"  But Med was convinced the creature was her Father.  As the battle continued, more and more of her friends attacked her Father, until, finally, Ash decapitated him with his silver sword which had turned silver the moment he'd touched it with the "cursed" ring.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Med screamed, holding out her hand in protest.

Raelin bent down and took some of the magic chains from the devil's body.  "Sweet, these things look magic!"

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Its the Ash show, starring me, I'm Ash!

It was at around this exact time that Ash pretty much did the dungeon by himself.

Maybe it was exasperation, maybe it was because he was hungry, or maybe it was because he just bloody well paid attention.

Ash jumped into the exploded remains of the undead dragon and his archer friends, and found 4 golden arrows and a bow.  He then went out into the next room, discovered that there was a huge pit, which, at the bottom, seemed to be slightly illuminated by a pair of glowing red eyes.  Reasoning that it was most likely an undead skeleton, he continued on to his right, discovering a 10' high shelf.

Hoisting himself up, he continued on.  The rest of the group stayed behind like confused roombas, finding the concept of climbing something 10' high impossible.

Solving a few minor puzzles as he went, he eventually encountered a gigantic, undead dinosaur with a golden sword within its chest.

Refusing to yell "I have at thee" he nonetheless, had at it.  Jumping and stabbing as was his trademark.

Raelin, being of reasonably high intelligence, suddenly solved the puzzle of the 10' obstruction.  "Hey...  I could climb over this!" he smiled, brilliantly.  Tribby, the 9' Ogre looked at the 10' obstruction and squinted.  The Elf's idea just, might, work.

Ash jumped and stabbed, and was swallowed by the giant tyrannosaurus!

The party gleefully climbed over the obstructions, being quite excited at their progress.

Ash, not missing a beat, smashed the creature's teeth from within, causing the creature to open its mouth in protest!

The rest of the group arrived and stared helpfully as Ash fought the giant behemoth!

Ash leapt from the creature's maw, spiderman vaulted up on an arc, and landed upon the back of the creature's skull, stabbing it once more from a vantage point where the creature was unable to counter!

Raelin snapped out of his awestruck daze first, and stabbed the creature in the big toe with the golden knife they'd acquired from the Ravid's treasure chest!  "HAH!" he yelled!

Ash continued to stab, all the while holding on as the creature thrashed violently!

"HAH!" Raelin yelled again, really poking the creature.

Tribby looked up at the creature, back at ash, back at Raelin, and asked what they were fighting.  Jay El informed her that it was the undead dragon from before.  Med mentioned that she thought they'd blown that up earlier.  The group discussed this some more while Ash screamed in bloodlust (can one have bloodlust against an undead?  Would that be bone-lust?)

Tribby ran up and attacked it with her club in the face... which was very high up.  Ash explained to her that it was still an undead tyrannosaurus rex.  Tribby apologized, and smashed it in the shin, instead.

Ash finally fell the beast and the group celebrated and discussed various aspects of the creature and what, in fact, it was.  Ash took the golden sword from the creature's chest and held it aloft.  The group asked where he'd gotten it from.

Ash headed back to the junction from which they'd came, and found a silver key was needed to unlock the door to the next area.  Manbearpig shot a golden arrow at the undead at the bottom of the pit.

Ash used the ring of poverty upon the golden key, turning it silver, and opened the door.

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Killing the kid, not evil. Raising his pet as a skeleton: evil? Psh, your ethics are whack, yo.

The world faded back into view as Med's holy powers sealed Raelin's neckhole shut (the bad hole, not the good one used for breathing) and he swore angrily at the indignity of it all, glaring for someone to phantasmly kill.  He noted that Tribby seemed to be underneath a Dire Bear, and opted to zap... the bear.

Tribby didn't notice right away, and did a conan-fights-the-rubber-snake (otherwise known as the sacred son of Set) for a bit, before shrugging the behemoth off of her.

The young Troll had stabbed her a few times while the Bear had held her down (whilst mauling!) and she was leaking rather poorly.

Meanwhile, Ash was holding his own against the larger Troll, though it too, was holding its own against him.

Jay El rushed to Tribby's aid, and like a feminine hygiene product advertisement, helped absorb much of her leakage; unlike a feminine hygiene ad, he then sealed the hole from whence the liquid had came.

As a group, they all slew the remaining Trolls.

Jay El looked down at the aborted Father-son picnic, and sighed "is this evil?  Are we doing evil again?" it was getting very difficult for him to tell the difference.

"What?  Pfft, they shot first, dude." Came Ash's reply.

"Oh." Jay El lamented.  "Cool."  Then, after a second "hey, do you think I could raise the corpse of any of these things to serve my dark desires?"

Ash smiled.  "Nah, probably too many hit dice."

Jay El frowned.  "Yeah."

"You could raise it though... make the dire bear undead."

"True..."

"But you couldn't control it."

"...no."

"XP..."

The banter continued for a while on the logistics behind raising enemies simply to kill them, and, in the end, the party continued its journey northward up the mountains, eventually stopping in a rather pleasant (if still frightfully cold) section of rocks, to bunker down for the night.  (or hunker)

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Father Son Picnic.

"PELOR'S NUTS!" Med shrieked as Raelin's face was skewered.

Ash readied himself, spear in hand and looked in the trajectorial direction indicated by the tilt of Raelin's head (back, and to the... right, actually.  Nuts, could have made a JFK joke there.) and saw a very large Dire Bear.

"Hm." Ash grunted.  Bears didn't usually throw spears, but, dire bears were known to be worthy adversaries.

Behind the behemoth was an average sized Troll, with his arm outstretched.

"Hm." Ash grunted, finding the culprit.  Trolls were generally worthy adversaries.  The combo of the two would prove to be an interesting battle.

"Broak borksh dorg!" The Troll's father smiled, patting the boy on the back.

"HM." Ash grunted.  "Heal the elf." he sighed; which was his version of asking for help.

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Her shredded sacks of meat previously brought all the boys to the yard.

A bulette, similar in appearance to the one the party had battled previous, with exception to being the size of rat from the perspective of an ant... er that is to say, it was very much bigger, BURST from the ground beneath the party, instantly killing all within the hole.

Ash looked back in terror as the gigantic behemoth erupted from the ground and smiled as the prism of power nestled snugly against his chest.  He could totally take it.

Jay El, just now regaining consciousness from his previous relationship with a hurled boulder, screamed in terror as everything around him was enveloped and torn asunder by the beast.  Everything... except...

Jay El paused.  How was he alive?  Oddly, he hadn't thought to call upon Abatu... almost as if Jay El's higher self, his soul, that which controlled him if you will, had somehow known that this emergency was false...

Ash yanked his spear from the splattered entrails of the Ogre and turned to face this new challenge.  A slough of arrows pierced his behind and he yelped with surprise.  No matter.  He could take all of them, too.

Still, it was a pity about the utter mutilation beyond repair that had befallen Med's rather perfect rack... He'd yet to jump and spear that, if he knew what he meant (which, he did), and that was really a shame...

The ogres all screamed and ran, hoping the beast would be content to simply eat what remained of the slaves and adventurers (which, from the looks of things, was something resembling jello with chunks of ham in it)

Tribby smilled.  "TAA DAAAH!"

Everyone looked at her with disguised looks of terror and relief.

"Oh." they all smiled

"we all totally knew that was an illusion." and, after a brief moment, added "uh... Well done, Tribby."

Tribby beamed.

Raelin, still invisible, noted a small amount of pee in his drawers, and shook his leg.  He would deobfuscate once he'd tended to matters of dignity.

DM's NOTE: TAA DAAAH!

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Oh right, the Ogres.

They didn't sleep long.

While nestled safely within the large pit with a choke point as an entrance, surrounded by slaves, and the corpses of people who were expected home hours ago ($15,000 richer, mind you - so less likely to be forgotten), the unthinkable happened.  The Ogres, who lived about an hour away, went to investigate.

The party, who had opted to borderline use the corpses of the fallen Ogres as mattresses in the very quarry that was to be the staging ground for the Ogre/Goblin exchange of goods, was very surprised to discover that they were surrounded by a rather angry collection of Ogres, who, again, unthinkably, were concerned as to the location of their money, as well as the condition of their fallen allies littered about the area.

Ash, who hadn't been sleeping, was the first to note that there was an Ogre at the entrance of the quarry.

"YOU..." said the Ogre, as Ash launched himself into the air, spear-first.  "...HAVE..." he manged to say, before Ash's spear sunk into the Ogre's throat.  (the next word was somewhat muffled as a result of the damage to the Ogre's speaking apparatus)

The rest of the party awoke with a fright.  Jay El, most surprised that any fools would attack such a well fortified position, began a prayer just as a huge boulder landed on him, squishing him quite flat.

It seemed that the well fortified position had a few small flaws.  The Ogres had the high ground, and were concealed, and the party had only one way out.

Raelin noted the flattened Cleric's twitching hand and turned invisible.  Another huge rock landed right next to him.  He took a step to the left and hugged the rock.  "At least this way, the next rock'll probably hit this boulder instead of me..." he silently reasoned to himself.

Tribby cast mirror image.  It wouldn't help much for the boulders, who, as near as anybody could tell, were simply being thrown in blind like well placed artillery, but, it would help her when she decided to leave the pit and attack.  (though, to be honest, she wasn't too thrilled about that option, either)

Med reached down and attempted to heal Jay El, but, the fact that he was two dimensional made it difficult.  Tribby reached down and helped heave the boulder off of his corpse; at which point Med's healing was considerably more effective.

Tribby had a thought, and pulled out her wand of greater illusion.  "Bibbidy bobbidy squiggley spooch!  Make a ginormous bullet monster shoot out of the ground and scare everyone!" she rhymed.  

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Oy, in verse.

Ash blinked.

Med snored.

Raelin frowned into his meditation.

Ash blinked again.  "I think I'm gonna go see what Tribby and Manbeardufus are up to." he grunted.  "Hey, Med.  C'mon."

"zzzzzz (snort) muaAh?  Gwah?  Huh?"

"Shut it, let's go already.  I'm bored."

"mmm... okay.  By slavies." She mumble-purred like a drunk kitten getting out of a pile of other, slightly smellier, clearly more disheveled kittens at the kitty equivalent of a frat party.

"..sh, should we just leave Raelin here?" She yawned

"Fuck 'em?" Ash replied in his most reasoning and sympathetic tone.

Med nodded, understandingly.

They tromped through the forest for about two minutes, when Ash suddenly heard a rather large clatter...

and wondered just what, if anything, was the matter.  

Deciding to jump up the tree with care,
he looked down at med and noticed the majority of her chest was bare.  

"Thank Pelor for your cleavage" he thought to himself, 

"those babies could hold snacks just like a shelf."

Tribby ran through the forest, smashing down trees, 

as though panic stricken and fearful of a hive of bees.  

But bees weren't what made Tribby run quite so fast, 

but rather t'were Ogres bearing down upon her mast.  

Six, to be precise, were chasing her so, 

Six of the ogres were what came from Roe.

"Oh Shit!" Med squeeked, climing a tree of her own, 

being less able to leap up on her... own.  

"There's Ogres coming, and they're coming fast!"

Ash laughed to himself and stared at her ass...t?

...

Anyway, Tribby ran with Jay El palmed like a football, and spotted Ash; to whom she yelled the warning that there were 6 Ogres behind her, but kept running.  Manbearpig road beside them, seeing nobody and saying nothing.

Jay El waited for the Ogres to pass, and jumped down and killed one of them.  The rest scattered in 5 different directions and ran away.

Meanwhile, Shibou was trampling her way back to the quarry, following Thaco.  The elephant ran riiiiiight up to Raelin, who chanced interrupting his meditation to peak out of one, fairly concerned eye... but the duckephant stopped in front of him and snorted.

DM's Note: What's with the Christmassy rhyming all of a sudden? I have no idea where that came from, sorry folks. Secondary note: No, I don't know how Jay El got to Tribby to be carried like a football. One of those "I assumed I went with them" things.

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Ogre Battle

The Goblins wrapped up their negotiations, and left with the large creature, and our heroes moved in.

Ash, Tribby & Shibou charged in, attacking the front lines, while Jay El, Med & Raelin dimension door-ed their ways behind the group where the Goblins had left from; hidden behind some rocks.

One of the Ogres, which was bright blue, launched into the air, and fired its spells at the melee in progress, as Ogre on Ogre action was taking place while Ash stabbed with his spear and Shibou thrust with her tusks.  Shibou, scared of the spells, took off in a panic, but her damage had been done to the decimated front lines of the Ogres.

Some of the Ogres were hardier than others, but all soon fell to the combined blows of Ash and Tribby.  The Bugbears turned out to be a larger threat to Tribby, scoring a lucky trip with their slaver whips, and providing an opening to the remaining Ogres to pounce upon her, causing very serious wounds.

In retaliation, Med muted the Ogre mage, very much reducing his offensive capabilities, and Jay El took to the air himself, en route for the assist.

Raelin launched a fireball at the Ogres, damaging them greatly, but also alerting them to Med and his presence on the battlefield.  This turned out to be important, as it split the offensive forces nicely.

Ash was mortally wounded by one of the remaining Ogres, but Jay El was able to Teabag* him back to life.

The Ogremage, seeing that the battle wasn't going his way, attempted to fly away, but Med took him out with her own Magic Missile.

Ash, still bleeding, was able to take out another Ogre before it could lay a hand upon him, which freed up Jay El to teabag Tribby.  The bugbears attempted to launch arrows at Jay El, but one broke his bow, and the others missed horribly.

The remaining Ogres around Tribby smashed her and again, brought her down, but Med was able to web the ogres (including Tribby) down, giving Jay El time to heal her, and Ash, again.

The Ogres which were bearing down upon the spellcasters, bore down upon them.  Raelin did much damage to them with his spells, but not enough - the remaining Ogre obliterated Raelin with one shot.

Med, left with the choice to run, or stay and heal Raelin, healed the caustic elf, and, due to Pelor's blessing, was able to avoid being struck by the previously accurate Ogre.  Raelin, in gratitude, turned invisible and ran, muttering something about the best of luck.

Jay El, too far away to reach Med in time, used his sling and pepped the Ogre with a rock with no noticeable effect.

Raelin, having a change of heart, lost his invisibility and zapped the remaining Ogre just as it was about to squish Med like a rather attractive bug.

At this point, all that remained were the bugbears, who were fleeing, but, thanks to the marksmanship of those in the vicinity, all were slain.

*Teabag healing:  When a healer is flying, drops down briefly to touch a damaged companion, heals them, and then promptly flies back up.


LOOT
 $15,000
 +1 ring of protection ($2,000)
 Razor Heavy Shield (1d8 slashing), returns +has ability to store vampric touch spell ($8,000)
 Cursed Healing Helm (2d8+5, -1 to -9 autocast or activate) once p/day ($15,000) -- curse removes all body hair, permanently.
 Wand of Major Image (8 charges left) ($8,000)
 Menacing Leather Armor (30' target creature w/less HD, will save 10+0.5(yourHD)+CHAmod -- panicks 5rounds, save = shaken 1round) use 3xp/day ($40,000)
 Pearl of brain lock Throw to daze creature for 3 rounds, once 900

 Ogre Composite Longbow (Req. +6 str mod to use)

XP: 
 Killing Stuff
  Group
    Manticores 1,000
    Ogres 3,300

 Cool Stuff
  Ash
  Multi-platform attack +210
  Jon Woo Retreat +300
  Battle plan +25

  Tribby
  Flaming Homer +50

  Raelin
  Rat Recon +50

  Med
  Webbed Jillion Damage +50
  Mute the mage +25

  Jay El
  Multi-platform assists+75
  Dimention Door Assault+25
  Teabag Healing +50

 Role Playing
  Ash
  Intimidating goblin +10

  Tribby
  Nosepickin' +80
  Personal pronoun adverse +30

  Jay El
  Prayer +200
  Guilt/Sleepless nights+75

 Alignment Modifiers
  Med +10

ASH +4845
TRIBBY +4460 LEVEL UP!
RAELIN +4350 LEVEL UP!
MED +4385 LEVEL UP!
JAY EL +4725

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A water balloon filled with pasta sauce?

Ash stabbed the dazed manticore it in the brains, and leaped to another manticore to repeat the process.

The manticores, seeing that they were losing the aerial battle against the jumping man with the spear, dive bombed the party in an abrupt change of tactics.  (also, they were out of spines)

Raelin summoned a large, crackling lightning ball between his hands.

Med took out her wand of web.

Tribby assumed the stance of a baseball player.

Jay El assumed a pose not all that dissimilar to Sub Zero, and readied the cold energies of the pits.

Ash road the manticore down, stabbing and hooting as he did so.

From 180 feet, the manticores shot towards the group.  Raelin launched his ball of lightning, Med en-webbed one, robbing its ability to land safely.  Jay El froze one, and commanded another to fall with mind control.  

All at once, manticores died.

One, frozen, was decapitated by the Ogre equivalent of a fiery Louisville slugger,  (and believe me, it it t'were a sporting event, t'would indeed have been, a home run) at nearly precisely the same time, Two others, either en-webbed or hypnotized into pile-driving into the ground, splattered around Tribby like twin gore filled piñatas, while the last, landed safely next to the intestines encrusted Ogre, made eye contact, and then, lost the orifice which was used to house its eyes in the first place, as Ash had decided to remodel the back, and front, of the creature's skull with his spear.

The group paused, and did a mutual appreciation for each other's work.

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Spider Ash, Spider Ash...

Tribby narrowed her eyes.  It was times like these, where she was happy for her split focus.  Cracking her knuckles, she launched magic missile after magic missile after magic missile into the air.

"BIG FLYING CAT BITCHES COME DOWN SO TRIBBY CAN SMASH!" She yelled, firing her missiles off in perhaps a further tribute to Ash's tip of the hat to many a John Woo movie (though she neglected to jump sideways, and there were no doves)

Jay El took to the skies, and cast wind wall as a ceiling for his party, to avoid any further projectiles.

Ash, used the Hippogriff to get back into range with the manticores, jumped, twisted, threw, and flipped, from one manticore to the next, causing the creatures to shoot each other in the confusion as they were continuously pelted with thrown objects and implausible stabbings.

Med looked at Raelin, who had decided to casually saunter over to her.  "Raelin!  I bless you with the guidance of Pelor!  Make your next strike that of the chosen!"

Raelin shrugged, looked up, and offhandedly shot a ray of frost at one of the manticores.  "Cool."  He glanced up at the minuscule effect, "Thanks." he mumbled, and sauntered back into the mist.

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Told you so.

The manticores, after witnessing the seemingly impossible amount of distance covered by the jumping man in plate mail, ascertained that he was one of the larger threats and, immidiately, launched a huge collection of spines at him, shredding his armor and wounding him badly.

Ash took a moment.  While he wasn't afraid, he knew that all it would take would be a stiff breeze to tip him over at this point.

He smiled.  He rarely got to do so many ridiculous things in such a short period of time.

Putting away his abbicus and protractor, Ash took his action, and, jumping and twisting in the air, he launched a throwing knife at the manticore as he fell down onto the hippogriff, rolled to absorb the impact, fell onto the duckephant, rolled to absorb THAT impact, and landed next to Jay El and Med back on the ground.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." They said, and healed him.

"Awesome.  Thanks."

Med leaned over to Jay El "(is he a vegan or something?)"

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Oh, it gets more ridiculous.

Med cast obscuring mist, shielding the party from the manticores, whose spines shot into the mist randomly.  "Scatter!" Med yelled, taking off East from the epicenter.

Tribby decided to cast her mirror image upon herself, and headed South.

Ash jumped up onto the Duckephant and crouched, waiting for his moment to do something ridiculous.

Jay El ran off to the East with Med, and prayed for guidance.  

Raelin stayed in the center and considered his options.

The ground was again, peppered with an ineffective spattering of spines.

Ash yelled to Jay El "NEED A BOOST!"

Jay El nodded, noted the mist, and yelled "Roger!  Up high, allez-oop!" and summoned a flying Hippogriff, which launched upwards at the manticores.

Ash checked the wind, and the position of the sun, and noted that it was time.  He took a running jump off the Duckephant, onto the back of the summoned hippogriff who was already flying upwards, and, harnessing the momentum of the beast, finished his jump by flying into the air the remaining distance and landed with his spear in the back of one of the manticores, 180' up in the air.

The physics gods complained, but the magic math was sound.

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