(seriously, so much cool stuff)

The battle waged on, but, alas, despite the uber-ness of the Dragon, t'was not enough to kill off the party.  (er... I mean... verily the party overtook the dragon and there was much rejoicing)

The Dragon fell to the ground, defeated, and, suddenly, the world began that weird, Zelda-esque world-fade-out-thing, and, the party realized that they each had just enough time to grab a single item before the world faded out completely.

However, as the group was rather innovative, they all managed to cheat with various speed enhancing or quick-locating options, and, were able to snag multiple swags.

Including:

  Shirt of bone Damage reduction 3/bludgeoning

  Horned Helm 1d8 +1/2 str  (extra attack)

  Ring of wizardry I Doubles 1st-level spells per day

  Ring of protection +3 +3 deflection bonus to AC

  Belt of giant strength +6 +6 enhancement bonus to Str

  Variable Shield - from buckler to tower

  Fleshgrinding throwing axe 1d6

  Crystal of life drinking, least Heal 1 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 10 damage per day 

  Crystal of life drinking, greater Heal 5 damage every time you damage a living creature, up to 50 damage/day 

 AMULET OF EMERGENCY HEALING 1d4+5 (yourself or others, instant) 3x p/day

 Crystal [DR 5/—, prevents up to 50 damage per day]

 Cloak of arachnida Various web and spider-based effects 

 Cloak of weaponry Store one Medium weapon 

  Fish Tank

  Belt of hidden pouches Holds items in 30 pockets, which function as small bags of holding 

  (Filled with sooooo much cool stuff)

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I am sensing something from the DM...

The group made its way through the portal, explained to Jay El why they were now able to get through it, and discovered a new, and terrifyingly acid-filled room.

Seeing that it was terrifying, and acid-filled, everyone (including Jay El) decided not to walk into it.

The DM sighed a sigh of relief.

The group instead went back South, and entered another room, filled with furniture, and a floating Ravid.

In the center of the room, was a tell-tale chest filled with all sorts of items which were surely required to advance the plot, as well as a library no doubt filled with information everyone would need.

Tribby attempted to jump over the acid, Jay El told her that the acid was too far to jump across, Ash informed them both that they were no longer in a room with any acid.  Jay El attacked a chair.  Med checked her facebook.

Ash took the reigns and killed the Ravid, took the gold key from him, as well as a gold dagger.  He then told Tribby to smash an aluminum statue while Raelin read about the properties of Aluminum in the library.

Ash picked up the aluminum sword, and, after learning from Raelin that aluminum converted to hydrogen when exposed to acid, got Tribby to smash up the statue, re-explained why, and picked up some of the pieces, and put them into the acid room, which, after a short while, caused a rather large explosion, destroying the wall, and the undead dragon behind it.

Ash explored, found a ruby, and Manbearpig equipped a bow and 6 golden arrows dropped by the undead archers but forgot to write them down in his inventory for later.

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Ogre Battle

The Goblins wrapped up their negotiations, and left with the large creature, and our heroes moved in.

Ash, Tribby & Shibou charged in, attacking the front lines, while Jay El, Med & Raelin dimension door-ed their ways behind the group where the Goblins had left from; hidden behind some rocks.

One of the Ogres, which was bright blue, launched into the air, and fired its spells at the melee in progress, as Ogre on Ogre action was taking place while Ash stabbed with his spear and Shibou thrust with her tusks.  Shibou, scared of the spells, took off in a panic, but her damage had been done to the decimated front lines of the Ogres.

Some of the Ogres were hardier than others, but all soon fell to the combined blows of Ash and Tribby.  The Bugbears turned out to be a larger threat to Tribby, scoring a lucky trip with their slaver whips, and providing an opening to the remaining Ogres to pounce upon her, causing very serious wounds.

In retaliation, Med muted the Ogre mage, very much reducing his offensive capabilities, and Jay El took to the air himself, en route for the assist.

Raelin launched a fireball at the Ogres, damaging them greatly, but also alerting them to Med and his presence on the battlefield.  This turned out to be important, as it split the offensive forces nicely.

Ash was mortally wounded by one of the remaining Ogres, but Jay El was able to Teabag* him back to life.

The Ogremage, seeing that the battle wasn't going his way, attempted to fly away, but Med took him out with her own Magic Missile.

Ash, still bleeding, was able to take out another Ogre before it could lay a hand upon him, which freed up Jay El to teabag Tribby.  The bugbears attempted to launch arrows at Jay El, but one broke his bow, and the others missed horribly.

The remaining Ogres around Tribby smashed her and again, brought her down, but Med was able to web the ogres (including Tribby) down, giving Jay El time to heal her, and Ash, again.

The Ogres which were bearing down upon the spellcasters, bore down upon them.  Raelin did much damage to them with his spells, but not enough - the remaining Ogre obliterated Raelin with one shot.

Med, left with the choice to run, or stay and heal Raelin, healed the caustic elf, and, due to Pelor's blessing, was able to avoid being struck by the previously accurate Ogre.  Raelin, in gratitude, turned invisible and ran, muttering something about the best of luck.

Jay El, too far away to reach Med in time, used his sling and pepped the Ogre with a rock with no noticeable effect.

Raelin, having a change of heart, lost his invisibility and zapped the remaining Ogre just as it was about to squish Med like a rather attractive bug.

At this point, all that remained were the bugbears, who were fleeing, but, thanks to the marksmanship of those in the vicinity, all were slain.

*Teabag healing:  When a healer is flying, drops down briefly to touch a damaged companion, heals them, and then promptly flies back up.


LOOT
 $15,000
 +1 ring of protection ($2,000)
 Razor Heavy Shield (1d8 slashing), returns +has ability to store vampric touch spell ($8,000)
 Cursed Healing Helm (2d8+5, -1 to -9 autocast or activate) once p/day ($15,000) -- curse removes all body hair, permanently.
 Wand of Major Image (8 charges left) ($8,000)
 Menacing Leather Armor (30' target creature w/less HD, will save 10+0.5(yourHD)+CHAmod -- panicks 5rounds, save = shaken 1round) use 3xp/day ($40,000)
 Pearl of brain lock Throw to daze creature for 3 rounds, once 900

 Ogre Composite Longbow (Req. +6 str mod to use)

XP: 
 Killing Stuff
  Group
    Manticores 1,000
    Ogres 3,300

 Cool Stuff
  Ash
  Multi-platform attack +210
  Jon Woo Retreat +300
  Battle plan +25

  Tribby
  Flaming Homer +50

  Raelin
  Rat Recon +50

  Med
  Webbed Jillion Damage +50
  Mute the mage +25

  Jay El
  Multi-platform assists+75
  Dimention Door Assault+25
  Teabag Healing +50

 Role Playing
  Ash
  Intimidating goblin +10

  Tribby
  Nosepickin' +80
  Personal pronoun adverse +30

  Jay El
  Prayer +200
  Guilt/Sleepless nights+75

 Alignment Modifiers
  Med +10

ASH +4845
TRIBBY +4460 LEVEL UP!
RAELIN +4350 LEVEL UP!
MED +4385 LEVEL UP!
JAY EL +4725

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Time to Shop!

The Zelda tune of "DUH NUH NUUH NAAAAAAH!" all but techno-remixed outside of the magic shop as item after item was acquired.

The actual buying process was somewhat awkward - as the Elves charged 30% extra if people used hard currency such as gold, and greatly seemed to prefer "Noble" a crystalline credit-transferring card, which most citizens carried.

The end result, was the group giving all their money to Raelin, him depositing it into his bank, and then buying the items for the party en-mass.  He also helped negotiate the otherwise horridly gouging prices.

NAME	ITEMS PURCHASED	ITEMS SOLD
Ash	Mithral Plate Mail Boots of springing & Jumping Gauntlets of Ogre Strength +2 +1 enhancement for spear	Gems  10 x rubies      $10,000  10 x amethyst  $1000  10 x topaz       $5000   5 x sapphire   $5000   5 x emerald   $5000  Quaal's feather token, anchor  Universal solvent  black dust.  (10 sprinkles, reforms destroyed black onyx gem).  Quaal's feather token, swan boat  Dust of dryness
Jay El (Tribby)	Mithral Plate Mail Parift of Wisdom +2 (Gauntlets of Ogre Strength +2) (Cloak of charisma +2)	+1 Returning Dagger +1 Shield of blinding (Gloves of arrow catching)
Manbearpig	+2 composite shortbow

They also gave Raelin the scrolls

Scrolls (arcane)

acid splash 12 gp 5 sp

3 know direction 12 gp 5 sp

mage hand 12 gp 5 sp

animate rope 25 gp

comprehend languages 25 gp

DM NOTE: The group failed to remember a few of their items in their inventory that they'd picked up at various times, so I feel obligated to mention that there is the search function on the right of this page entitled "loot" which you could use to quickly summarize your gear (ie magic quivers, +1 hide armor, etc)

Afterthought

The group interrogated the King for a bit, and, after much discussion, delayed introductions, explanations, and cautious allowances, Manbearpig's creepy associate latched onto the King and read his mind, getting the password to a secret vault.

After searching and smashing the room randomly, Ash got the idea to speak the password aloud, and, the secret-secret-secret panel opened.

"Banana Carrot Buttered Bagel!" Ash spoke (in Kobold) at the wall, which immediately, and somewhat majestically, slid open to reveal a wall of gems.

Everyone ooo-ed and aaaah-ed at the gems and chatted about their value.

Manbearpig leaned over to Jay El "By the way, I think I'm poisoned." he mentioned.  "Oh, and, I'm missing an eye."

LOOT

 10 x rubies      $10,000

 10 x amethyst  $1000

 10 x topaz       $5000

  5 x sapphire   $5000

  5 x emerald   $5000

Hulk hate personal pronouns.

Tribby's formerly elven mind sparked for a moment, reminding her of what it was she was both losing, and becoming.  "Wait a minute...  We're in the King's throne room, and all that's in there is copper?"

She felt around in the vault and found a slight shimmer.  "ooooh secret-secret vault...  How to... how to... open..."  The Ogre-rage overshadowed her thoughts... "Tribby smash!"

Nothing happened except a slight shimmer.  For a moment, the group looked at Tribby.  Would this discourage her rage, or...

"TRIBBY SMAAAASH!" she yelled, thrashing wildly at the shimmer.

Ash shrugged, and helped her smash.

Jay El sighed.  Ever since freeing some of the slaves, he'd felt...  lighter... clearer.  To see his companions resort to savagery... even against an inanimate object...  troubled him.

He smiled.

That was probably a really... really good thing.

Some time passed, and, eventually, Tribby's savagery, and Ash's accuracy gained them access to the secret-secret vault.

Kobold porn spilled out.

Tribby wiped some froth from her mouth.  "It...  what!?  NO!"

Ash put a calming arm on her shoulder, and, using his spear as a makeshift shovel, pulled the porn out onto the floor.  "Kobold on Dragon, Kobold on Elf, Kobold on Kobold, Kobold on... is that a female kobold with a dick?"

The group laughed, but, kept fishing within the porn until...

"Paydirt!" Yelled Ash.

LOOT
 18,732g

 28,478s

 Kobold porn

I'm not an elf... not yet an ogre...

Tribby smashed open the vault, and thought to herself, sadly, on how it had become her primary method of solving problems.  How would she have solved the issue of the safe in her old body?

Tribby blinked.  When had this Ogre body been dubbed her body, and her original form, her old?  Was... was she happy in this new body, or simply becoming desensitized to it?  She looked down at her huge, hairy hands.  Was she happy?  Happy being strong?

She grunted and tore the remaining pieces of the safe door and tossed it aside, and smiled.  Ogre, Human, or Elf, there was gold in them thar hills.

LOOT
 20g

 200s

 118,311c

 Stone of weight

 Dust of sneezing and choking

Kobold Nipples

"Where's the King!?" Jay El prompted.  "He's our ticket outta here!"

Tribby sniffed the air and listened, but found nothing.  The group sighed, and did a thorough search of the area, in an effort to find either the King, or, his escape route.

However, they got rather distracted when they found his treasure room.

Upon initial inspection, it was a modest treasure room... for a king.  There was three rather tasteful paintings of nude and semi-nude Kobolds in various Victorian poses; as well as a marble sculpture of a naked Kobold (oddly, with rubies for nipples... as Kobolds do not have nipples)

Behind one of the paintings, was a safe.  "Neat!" Tribby remarked, remembering an illusion her village's story teller would craft for them involving a talking dog and his wacky pals who would solve mysteries.

While the group discussed various methods of opening the safe (okay, they just started smashing it) they also found some interesting items in a small, storage offshoot of the room.

LOOT

 Quaal's feather token, anchor

 Universal solvent

 black dust.  (10 sprinkles, reforms destroyed black onyx gem).

 Quaal's feather token, swan boat

 Dust of dryness

 2xImmovable rods

 intricate carpet

 Hide from undead (potion)

 Jump (potion) 

Ooooh THAT'S what we forgot...

Ash perused his surroundings as his comrades attempted to ascertain the best weight to gold ratio (as there clearly was no way they were going to be carrying all of the items they'd found)

"There seems to be a... ah, yes.  Here we are..." he mumbled as he uncovered a hidden panel.  Therein lay a rather remarkable robe, and dagger.

Tribby, sensing that they were magic, offered her services of identification, and it was surmised that they were the ROBE OF BONES and a +1 RETURNING DAGGER.

Desperately needing rest, the party contented themselves with the ambitious project of barricading the doors with the plethora of weaponry... and Tribby.

The party drifted off to sleep.  

Jay El dreampt of chasing after fragments of memories, and faceless women and children saying muted words in blurry surroundings.

Ash dreampt of plunging his spear through the rocky chest of a giant.

Tribby dreampt a rather remarkable dream involving two Ogres, and one cup.

They awoke.  Some tormented, some enthused, and some needing about 5 more minutes.

Jay El snapped his fingers.  "Oh crap.  We suck."

Tribby, still re-living her nocturnal dalliance, looked at him with dreamy eyes "hmmmm...?"

"We totally left Shitanya and Manbearpig alone... over night...  up in the storage locker!"

Hastily, they moved aside their barricade, and ran to the storage locker.  

Aside from the poisoned foodstuffs, and urine soaked bread, the room was empty.

"Well... crap." Jay El summarized.

"Meh." Ash offered, in condolences.  

Dark rationalizations

There were fourteen well skilled, stronger Kobolds, who had thrown the volley.  And, seeing as their aim had seemed true, and their strength able to pierce even her tough hide, he felt it was time to attack with a newfound resolve in his abilities.

Seeing the Kobolds brought fourth a murderous rage within him, and he used it to summon a horrible scorpion from the ether.  It immediately grabbed one of the dirty scaled rodents in its claws and squeezed it until juices came out of its ears.  Jay El smiled.  

Ash contented himself with jumping and stabbing the Kobolds in a far more professional manner.  He saw no joy in these particular Kobold's execution.  Moreso, he felt a longing for more worthy an opponent to sink his spear into.  While he did feel a moral obligation to help the fairies, he also felt that he could be wasting his time upon such a trivial quest.  If these were the best the Kobolds could throw at him, it was going to be a long night for the Dragoon.

Tribby, freshly healed by Jay El's spell, launched an arc of fire into the midst of those who had sought to slay her only moments before.  She loved using her magic in such a way, though she found her new frame clumsy, and more apt at smashing than casting, she still felt a certain kinship with the ways of magic.  She smiled and launched another volley into the crowd, as Ash continued to spring from opponent to opponent, and Jay El continued to use his God's magics for the benefit of the party and to the detriment of their enemies.

A door to the side burst open, and in swarmed more Kobolds.  These smaller, less threatening Kobolds would still overwhelm the party if their source was not staunched.

Thinking quickly, Ash shoved his "Enlarge Person" potion into Tribby's gargantuan mouth, and yelled for her to cover the door with her swelling mass.  As Tribby had already been stooped to accommodate the Koboldian quarters, this further enlargement slowed her to a crawl.

Having said that, she had huge, monstrous arms, and a gigantic, hard to circumnavigate butt with which she used to shield the rest of the party from the oncoming swarm.

The party fought on.  Jay El's scorpion provided much needed crowd control, while Jay El busied himself with all forms of enhancement to aid the party, and even the occasional macing when the magic wells ran dry.  Ash stabbed all who crossed him, and chased after those who didn't, and Tribby used her gigantic body to shield the party as well as to attack all who entered her gargantuan reach.

After a time, the swarm abated, and all was calm.

Nearly immediately, Jay El felt a sense of sadness and loss overcome him.  Where had the joy of victory gone?  Now it seemed, he simply needed his next fix.

For now, he would content himself to searching the room for treasure.  For what he needed it for, he could not say.  But deep within his soul, a part of him hoped that he would be able somehow to purchase that which he didn't even know he had lost, yet still felt a longing for nonetheless.

LOOT

30 daylight rocks

500 morning stars

25 leather armors

1000 slings, 100 spears

200 short bows

200 bucklers

Hydroponic Depression

The party continued forward, joking and laughing about the liquid nature of some of their opposition, and found a small hydroponics section.

Eventually, it donned upon Jay El that they were in a cave, and, after voicing this to the group, Ash discovered that there were 4 daylight stones being used for photosynthisis.

Jay El felt a twinge in his gut, remembering a time where he'd shared an apple with his daughter and wife.  She'd squirted lemon on the slices so they didn't go brown...

It seemed like an entirely different life.  A life that was becoming less and less relevant the more he fought to reclaim it.

He picked an apple off one of the trees, closed his eyes and took a bite.

"Hey Jay!" Tribby interrupted, "Wanna pee on the plants, too?"

Jay El sighed.  The moment was lost.  "No, taking the source of light should be sufficient.  Besides, if all goes as planned there will be little left to eat the fruits of their labors regardless." he turned abruptly, and marched down the hallway, hurling the apple into a nearby wall in a harsh manner, holding back the pain in his chest.  

LOOT

4 daylight stones

CR: 0 - Spell overcompensation: 12

Satisfied with the level of starvation and racial cleansing they'd accomplished, the party headed over to the Barracks - ready to do battle with a few Kobolds who would likely be able to defend themselves.

The partially deaf Ash placed his ear against the door of the Barracks.  "IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE ANYONE IS IN THERE!" he deaf-yelled.

Tribby sighed and shoved him aside.  "There are indeed Kobolds inside.  More than 3, some of which are wearing armor."

"WHAT!?" he attempted to whisper.

"Nevermind." she said, making the motion for Ash to take out his spear and prepping to open the door.

(if Tribby had been in her original, fairly fetching Half-Elf form, this may have led to yet another sexually charged misunderstanding between Tribby and a male, but, thankfully, aside from other Ogres, not much would wanna get with an Ogre.)

Jay El concentrated and clenched his teeth.  "HEAL YOU HEEL!" he grimaced, his wound finally closing.

It seemed as though his powers were returning.  He glanced around, deciding not to chance the voicing of his concerns to the party - sensing they might turn on him at any moment; Jay El cast a spell upon Tribby's weapon, her huge club sprouted giant, enchanted, cruel looking spikes.  Next, he attempted to bless the group with divine energy.  It was a struggle, but, it seemed to work.

Ready, the group politely opened the door, and launched their assault.

The 6 tiny Kobolds screamed and attempted to fumble with their weapons.  Tribby ran towards their leader and smashed him with a blow so powerful that, if one were inclined to calculate such a figure, would have been capable of killing 9 of him.  The blow was so powerful that Captain Kobold (which sounds like a very strange superhero) was reduced to a fine mist.  His items also, were smashed beyond all recognition, as was the floor below him.

No doubt this helped to alert people in the floors below as to the scuffle.

The rest of the party followed suit and demolished the petty resistance.

The party laughed.  If this was the best the Kobolds had with which to defend themselves, they really had very little to worry about.

The happy party noticed, and picked up a few pieces of loot.

LOOT

Masterwork Manacles

Two good locks

One superior lock

Carebearpig

The party annihalated the remains of the Kobold defenses via poking, freeze breath-ing, supportitive healing, mace bashing, and stern grass chewing.

The party then debated on the ins and outs of attacking the Kobold stronghold, and, eventually decided on "covering up their holes with broken pieces of tower and resting, and then attacking in the morning"

Manbearpig stared sternly at the holes (he was, in fact, becoming quite adept at sternly staring) while Jay El searched the village for random odds 'n sods.

LOOT

Scrolls (arcane)

acid splash 12 gp 5 sp

3 know direction 12 gp 5 sp

mage hand 12 gp 5 sp

animate rope 25 gp

comprehend languages 25 gp

+A pretty neat quiver and 342g 220s 745c

Yay Gems & XP

The group debated on how to get everyone, including Shitanya's unconcious form, and the nervous Gluestick onto the boat, and into the houseboat.  (Gluestick couldn't fit)

Taking their time, they ransacked the dead Ogre's quaint cottage.

They found, and threw into the water some basic survivalist tools, a few humble Ogre-attempts at art, and a rather decent (for an Ogre) drawing of what they could only assume was someone he had once cared about.  In addition, they discarded 1 Large club, and 15 animal skins.

They decided to keep:

• The big sack of smokeweed
  
• The Small chest of gems
  
  
  • 10gp (7 blue quartz, 1 azurite, 2 malachite)
    
  • 50gp (2 citrine, 3 clear quartz, 1 rose quartz)
    
  • 100gp (2 amethyst)
    
  • 500gp (3 yellow topaz)
    
  • 1000gp (blue sapphire)
    
  [3100gp worth of gems]
• The Big chest of misc coins ($1,763 gp, 26,421 s, 32 c)
  

Which they split up evenly - giving the extra copper piece to Tribby. xp 6000 (to all)

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we are in

CanadianPlanet

canada's webs

Poonose The Terrible

Jay El watched as the 700 pound Ogre smashed the 600 pound Ogre into oblivion with one shot.  Watched as his companion crumpled to the ground in a pile of splintered bone and torn muscle tissue.

"Oh shit." he summarized.

"ooooh shit, oh shit, ooooh shit!" He continued.

Ash launched at the Ogre in an effort to draw his fire.  Gluestick reared up in fear, but Manbearpig's ability as a rider proved more powerful than Gluestick's need to GTFO.  Shitanya, seeing her moment, took a deep breath and swore a mighty shit, and launched herself at the Ogre, missing often, and doing only superficial damage.

Manbearpig quickly summoned a crocodile, hoping it would drag the ogre the fuck away, and into the water where he would stop hitting people with his tree.  The crock valiantly took a quick bite from the foul-tasting ogre, but, the behemoth easily shook the creature off his leg without even turning around.

The enraged Poonose, turned to see the swearing half dragon, and pounded her like a fencepost once, twice... three times was not necessary for this lady.  Her crumbled body fell to the ground, seemingly lifeless.

Jay El was about to yell some more explitives, but, then saw what Poonose'd done to Shitanya, and opted to summon a big bee instead.  "Maybe he's allergic!" he thought to himself.

Ash stabbed into the Ogre with a fearsome thrust, sinking his spear deep into his upper thigh.  Poonose whirled and smashed at Ash, his ears ringing from the impact.  Manbearpig summoned another crocodile, whispering "sick 'em!" so as not to draw too much attention to himself.

Jay El sent out his healing magic to Tribby, watching as her bones receded back into her flesh, which healed back over top of the gruesome wounds.  Her skull reformed, and her ribs gradually distended back to their proper place, and she opened her eyes.

Ash stepped back, and drank a potion of enlarge person - and grew to face this menace.

Tribby blinked.  She was alive!  She was conscious, and not a liquid!  She backed away from the enraged Poonose in terror.  The creature was still really really pissed off.

The Bee stung Poonose in the neck, and he immediately swelled up from the toxins, as they went into his bloodstream.  He visibly slowed, but continued his assault, smashing the crocodiles into oblivion.  Manbearpig avoided eye contact as if to say "I didn't make those crocodiles, it was the cleric"

Manbearpig launched handfulls of fire, the much larger Ash stabbed, Tribby evoked her magic missiles, and Jay El doomed the Ogre with an evil, degenerative spell.

Poonose whirled, seeing the source of his rage and ran towards her.  Ash attempted to seize this opportunity, but missed in the commotion; Tribby saw him coming, and landed a single, thunderous blow to his noggin.

"Leave...  Skuh... skid...maaark...... ah...alooo..nnnne..." he cried, as he succumbed to his wounds, gripping Tribby's fur in a failed attempt to take her with him.

Manbearpig attempted to shoot him with an arrow and missed.  "Dang."
(They looted his corpse)

[+1 hide armor, +1 greatclub, ring of protection +1]

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Well I'll be an Ogre's aunt, ain't you the spittin' image of Shitface.

The party made their way to the fairy village, where they were showered with the attention normally reserved for rock stars.

Perhaps it was their stature, perhaps it was the goblin blood, perhaps it was simply that they were unknown or weren't fairies.

Whatever the case, the children fairies especially adored the group, and even tolerated Shitanya and Ash.  And, once Shitanya disposed of the rotting meat, and cleaned herself of many a fecal deposit, she too was embraced amongst the tribe.

If one imagined the Ewoks as tiny bugs with wings, and the ability to form basic sentance structure, one would have a fairly accurate description of the celebration and welcoming that the party enjoyed.

Over the next few days, they showered the party in gifts, based on their favorite colors.  As the fairies tended towards liking shiny things, much of their gifts involved gems to those they liked, and pearls to those they tolerated.

(GREEN emerald necklace Emerald bracelet (1300g) for Jay El, (BLACK black pearl bracelet (500g)) for Ash, flowers for Manbearpig, a bath and perfumes (5g) for Shitanya and a new body (Free rather expensive spell) for Tribby)

"THANK YOU!" came the polite thanks from the huge, smelly ogre which had formerly been Tribby.  The fairies laughed their asses off at her new form.

Tribby looked down at her 10' 600lbs frame and smiled.  "COOL" she whispered to herself.  "I'M AN OGRE."
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Jay El's first taste of power

"Are you good biggies, or bad biggies?" Came the Fairy's reply.

"Hm...  Good biggies." Manbearpig replied.

The fairy narrowed his clearly discerning eyes at the pigmanbear.  He'd been killing goblins... which sometimes hurt the Fairies... but then, Goblins sometimes hurt the Kobolds, who hurt the fairies, which made them less bad, but then still not friends, and then there was the Kobolds who sometimes hurt the Goblins who sometimes hurt the fairies...

"We're nice." He extrapolated.  Thankful that their kobold companion had fled during the fight - as it miiiight have been awkward having him with them.

"Okies, we'll help." The Fairy decided.  And, with that, it went off with its pals and sang a merry tune.

Carnage spewed all around as goblinic death ran rampant throughout the area.  Even Shitanya was at a loss for swearing, and simply lost herself to the never ending chaotic clawing carnage.  (although she did briefly decide to attempt to eat one of the Fairies, but, thankfully, nobody heard her over all the cuffufal)

[boy I miss my spell checker... who removes functionality in a blog so crucial as a spell checker?]

Just when it appeared that the fairies might simply be singing for fun, the Goblins all fell asleep in a large cone of sleepytime.

The fairies then flew to another section of Goblin, and began humming at them.

Carnage carnage carnage, and the party began making their way to the slumbering section of goblins, dragging the holey Tribby with them.

After the second patch of goblins succumed to their collective sleep spell, the smarter of the three fairies again approached Manbearpig.

"Timey we go, now, yes?" the fairy attempted.

Jay El trundled up, covered in the blood of the unlucky.  "hey, I'm AWESOME!" he said, convincingly.

"You are a gooood biggie!" Came the fairy's response; then, upon seeing Ash, asked him the same question of being a good biggie or a bad biggie.

"I fucking love killing shit!" came his reply.

The fairy did its best not to judge, and assumed that, if he was hanging out with someone as awesome as Jay El, he couldn't be all bad.

Jay El convinced the pretty little thing that they just need to pillage the dead before they left for their peaceful village.  (which pretty much used up the last of his entropic magesty) and, the party collected 53 morning stars, 15 leather armors (the majority of the damage that had been done that day was so extensive that, the majority of armors were decimated beyond recognition), 8 shields (for the same reasons) and 20 gold, 100 silver, and 749 copper pieces.

They then headed for the village of the fairies.
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