I gotta talk to my manager.

"Uh huh." Abatu grunted in as sarcastic a manner as was possible.  "I see how it is, now.  Sure, you bitches get to be all up in my face when it suits you, but, as soon as some shit goes down, ooOOoh, I'd better ask Abatu for help.  He's a nice guy."

Jay El smiled weakly, noting that time had stopped and that he was not inside his body.  He looked down at it and saw all the spines clearly about to land upon him.  He would not survive.

"And what, when I said it wasn't a good idea to piss off a luck demon you didn't bat an eye, but NOW when something doesn't go your way, you immediately think of me.  How touching."

"Ummm, yeah, look, I'm sorry.  I... I kind of forgot that you weren't the thing, that gave us the whole mission and stuff... I kind of got you confused with this other thing."

"Understandable, what, we both being pink and all (apparently)"

"Right!"

"I suppose you have the same problem with black people all looking the same, too, right?"

"Exact... hey! no.  NO!  Hey!  Come on!  That isn't even the same..."

"Oh, of course not!  Pink is totally different.  I concede to your logic.  So.  Let's get down to business.  What the fuck do you want?"

"...not to die?"

"Right."

"...please?"

"And I should help you because...?"

"Because... because Lydia believes in me?  Because I'm on a mission to save the world?"

"Psh.  Lydia believes in you?  Come on, dude.  You're killing innocent creatures left and right with no qualms. If anything, you're a bad guy who needs to be put down, not encouraged."

"No, NO!  Really, I'm a good person!  Its these circumstances!  They keep... well, its hard to explain, but genocide seems to be the lesser of... two... "  Jay El stopped his sentence.  "Look, that didn't come out right.  Maybe Lydia will vouch for me?"

Abatu sighed, "Its a good thing I am both immortal and able to freeze time.  Otherwise this whole thing would clearly be wasting a resource.  Go ahead.  Pray."

Jay El closed his eyes and prayed.  He prayed so hard it was like a mob boss not wanting to see his innocent daughter get tortured due to his own evil deeds.  He prayed so hard it was like someone who had eaten at Taco Bell wanting the burning squirts to stop.  He prayed so hard... oh, you get it?  Okay:  He prayed hard.

Lydia's assistant showed up and spoke to Abatu, who was incredulous, stubborn, but respectful.  "look, frankly, I'm concerned about your choice of... yes, no I see the potential desti... yeah!  No, I'm just worried that... well yeah!  Well how would YOU feel if... I suppose... sure, yeah... no it isn't just the... okay... B.... bu... . but I.... right... yes... yes... n... we... well I..."

Jay El squinted into the conversation, and looked down at his terrified body.

"...Fine.  But we're talking some serious luck manipula... yeah... okay... but how am I supposed to... right.  Yeah.  No, yeah, I get it... yeah, he's okay I guess.  Right... potential for good... the whole world?  I suppose... yeah...  but I don't wanna use up any more of his... right, greater good... okay...  maybe I could take some energy from the... yeah, right... okay.  Okay... I said okay, okay?  Okay.  Yes.  YES, I will.  YES I SAID.  Okay."

Jay El looked at Abatu with big, hopeful eyes.

"Alright.  Look, here's the deal.  I CAN help.  And, Lydia seems to think you're worth saving."

"Great, what's it going to cost me?"

"That's the thing.  I want YOU to make ME an offer.  Because this?  All this?" Abatu gestured to everything around him, including various time vortexes, the manticores, the spines and a few other random odds 'n sodds "This isn't cheap.  This isn't easy to do.  This is, quite frankly, very taxing.  I'm SUPPOSED to be resting, I'm SUPPOSED to be saving up my energy to help you friggin' later, but, here we are."

Jay El smiled.  He'd hurt Abatu's feelings, it seemed, but, things would be okay.

"I can offer you my most cherished memory.  It isn't something I offer lightly."

Abatu nodded, glad to see he'd made his point.  "Okay."

"The memory of my daughter's birth."

Abatu arched an eyebrow.  "That's a pretty good one."

Jay El lowered his head.  "For the greater good, I will do what I must.  Lydia has vouched for me, and I cannot allow this to be for nothing.  I cannot."

Abatu took a moment, and sighed.  "I... here's the thing.  There's a loooot of spines."

Jay El looked up.

"I don't really wanna take another memory from you, y'know?  I mean, you're less and less the man I hitched my wagon to, y'know?  And frankly, I'm concerned about your recent decisions.  So, I was talking with Lydia, and, this one time, I think what we could do, is basically, blow up your shield, and combine that energy with the memory.  That would boost it's output, and give me the juice I need to save you.  But then, this is kinda it, right?  I mean, I seriously need to collect my energies and you're becoming less and less a source of positivity from which to bask, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

Jay El nodded, he knew what he was sayin'.

"Alright then."

Jay El nodded again.

"Birth of your daughter, a disintegrated shield, and a not-dead you, comin' up."


: How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?

Abatu & Jay El dream sequence.

The mists of the ether swirled and parted through metaphor, simile and abstract impressionism as random somewhat daughter-related, somewhat wife-related, somewhat darkness-overcoming-the-soul related images cascaded through Jay El's dreamscape.

"Okay." Abatu stated, simply.  "I'm just gonna say it."

Jay El stopped flying though the mazes representing his moral dilemmas and dietary choices and looked at Abatu.

Abatu waited for a moment, and then continued.  "I'm a little pissed off at you right now."

Jay El's first girlfriend swam by with a fish for a head.

"I mean, you all go and kill a bunch of innocent bat-kids and somehow I'M the bad guy!?"

A skunk representing both guilt and a fear of farting in public places landed next to Jay El and urinated on his leg.

"Look, I'm gonna fulfill a few of my moral obligations here, so, just quit dreaming for a second, will you?  Its distracting."

Jay El nodded.  A unicorn trampled a gopher.

"I feel obligated to tell you that this douche and his lady friend are destined to accompany you on your mission to save the world, and that I used up (again) all my power getting you dipshits together."

Two slugs covered in feces made love on a painting Jay El had made in kindergarten.

"And, (seriously, what the hell is up with the slugs?) I feel obligated to tell you that some of the objects you shitballs are collecting are specifically designed to be used BY one of you asshats."

A donkey fell and dissolved, screaming into a pool of acid, referencing Joss Wheadon in an abstract manner.

"So, that's it.  We're done.  Next time you want a scapegoat to blame for your own fucking mental problems, you're going to have to blame your monkey or something."

A feminine man, neither black, nor white, walked both backwards and forwards at the same time.  

"Best of luck getting back to your daughter jerkwad."

...

Abatu began to fade out, and hesitated.  He squinted his eyes together as though having a particularly painful bowel movement and made the corresponding sound of "gnnnng!...FINE!  Never mind.  You won't remember this dream at all you lame as shit ball dinknose.  I can't let my personal feelings get in the way of destiny...  besides, if I wipe your memory of this dream NOW... I'll get to yell at you all over again later... after YOU contact ME.  And, let's face it.  You're only going to call when you need something."

Abatu smiled.  "Yeah.  We'll do it that way instead."

Offending a luck entity - good call.

Everyone looked at everyone.
In a literary paradox, everyone avoided eye contact.
Everyone looked for a scapegoat for their actions.
Everyone looked at Jay El.

"That friggen Abatu... why do we trust him anyway?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"

Jay El looked at the group, and jumped on the bandwagon.  "Yeah!" he rubbed his chest.  "Listen here Abatu, we've got some questions, and we'd like some answers."

Abatu, hearing his name, emerged.  "Hey guys.  What's up?"

In a rare moment of eloquence and initiative, Tribby started the questioning "What were you, before you were what you are now?"

Abatu attempted to arch an eyebrow at her, but failed.  He'd never been very good at that particular quizzical yet sarcastic expression, and always ended up looking more like he'd eaten something sour.  "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, what were you before you gave us this mission?"

"What mission?"

"Don't avoid the question!"

"What were YOU before YOU were born, stinky?"

"I don't know!"

"Is that seriously what you're all pissed about?  My origins?"

"No!  We have other questions!"
"Yeah!"

"Such as?"

"Well, what are we building?"

"I don't know."

"What evil are we preventing?"

"Psh, beats me."

"How old are you?"

"Compared to what?"

"Do you have any useful information?"

"If I did, I would have told you by now."

"Can you lie to us?"

"I don't see why not."

"What if I cast my truth spell?"

"Knock yourself out lady."

Med cast her truth spell.  "Okay, now... lie to us."

"(sigh) alright, I'm blooOOooOooo, sooooo very bluuuue...  hm.  It seems your spell does dick-all."

"So you could be lying to us about everything?"

"I suppose we all could be lying to each other about lying - maybe you're lying about casting a truth spell eh?"

"Stop twisting things!"

"I'm seriously not.  I'm just confused as to what you're all angry about."

"We don't know who to trust!"

"Ah."

"I mean, the Elf King could be evil and trying to raise evil, or YOU could be evil and trying to raise evil, or, or..."

"You guys didn't just wipe out another peaceful village, did you?"

"wait... you guys have done this sort of thing BEFORE!?"

(Awkward silence)

"Well, not on purpose..."
"No, not on purpose..."
"They were clearly up to no good."
"Clearly."

"I don't believe this!" Med shrieked at the group.  You're all devils!

"No, no really, we're all good!"
"Neutral-Good!"
"Well, I'm lawful neutral"
"Close enough, though!"

"AGGH!"

Abatu smiled at the group.  He decided not to mention the first time he'd contacted Jay El in his dreams, or the second time, when he'd helped Jay El save what few fairies remained alive.  Apparently, they were under the impression that he'd asked for some kind of mission to be undertaken in his name, and, quite frankly, they were kinda being dicks to him at the moment.

"Okay, bye now." Abatu finished.  "Don't come asking me for help any time soon."

Fury 3

Abatu appeared and looked about him.  "Too late."

Jay El grimaced, seeing two of the Kobold's riding dogs fighting over a screaming fairy and tearing it in two.

He knew there was no way for him to save all the fairies.  Even half would be a miracle.  The damage had been done.  "What can we do." He stated, knowing the answer.

Abatu paused and looked at who Jay El was becoming.  "No, Jay El.  You need not become the bezerker this day.  While violence may indeed be the answer forthcoming, now is the time for healing."

Jay El started, about to snap something at Abatu, and then paused, and looked down.  "You're right.  Can you help me save them?"

"Not all of them, no.  Some are too far gone.  I must warn you:  The more I help you, the less you become someone who I would wish to help.  Do you understand that which you are sacrificing?  Who you are to become if this power is misused?"

Jay El gave one last sigh, and conjured up the memory of his daughter's first steps, and a happy memory he often used to sooth himself when remembering why he was on this quest to begin with, when she and he had had a nice moment on a small swing set, and he'd been pushing her lovingly while the wind was blowing through his wife's hair.  The way she'd looked at him, mixed with the sound of his daughter's laughter...  Jay El clenched his teeth as a tear came down his cheek.  "Just do it." he whispered.

The memory was gone.  It had never happened, and he didn't even really understand what he'd lost.  

But he still felt the void nonetheless.  

How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?

Fury 2

The group amassed itself in a horizontal line of fury, and, after casting a myriad of spells upon itself, launched into the village.

What met their eyes and assaulted every sense they had would not leave their nightmares for many years to come.

The beautiful fairy paradise had been turned into a fiery war zone filled with pain and suffering.

Smoking and on fire, the ground itself was littered with the dead and the dying fairies; Many of them children.

Jay El's eyes teared up as he saw the small precocious one who'd brought him the boot when he'd organized a scavenger hunt.  The majority of her skin was burnt black.  Death would be a release for her and Jay El knew it.

As his senses reeled, he realized that the majority of them were badly burned, and those that were alive, were in anguish.  Either screaming from terror, from pain, or from loss.

Possibly the most impotently frustrating aspect of the situation was how far along it all was.  This war was over.  Those kobolds that remained were simply stragglers who were looting or grabbing a last minute handful of screaming snacks for the road, or prisoners for future delights.

The party was met with another challenge.  How best to charge these invaders without accidentally stepping upon the littered fallen?

Solving the situation as best they could, the group summoned Hippogryphs, and mounted them for aerial combat.  Flying down upon the remaining Kobolds and swiftly dispatching them as they retreated.

Bliznark, their old guide yelled to the group that they'd had a deal - that he was supposed to be allowed to eat as many as he wanted.  They slaughtered him like the rest.  His blood splattering upon the body of Petal, who was silently holding the remains of her dead mother in her arms.

Jay El's heart sank the lowest of the group.  This home away from home that he had so loved.  The innocence of the fairies which had so reminded him of his own daughter.  The simple sanctity which had been so horribly violated.

He gritted his teeth and spoke the name.  "Abatu."

How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?

Session 4: Well crap. Someone relocated the DM's map & plotline thread. Looks like we're wingin' it!

Session 4: Well crap. Someone relocated the DM's map & plotline thread. Looks like we're wingin' it!


Abatu visits Jay El in his sleep

Abatu: "my domain is that of entropy, and I am an eternal observer of that which is good and decent in this world.

You should know that It is through my efforts that you are alive and well at all.

Though currently, due to the entropic manipulation this has required in order to coincidently get all of you together in the same place at the same time with the somewhat improbable items that were in your posession, I am something of an impotent gardian angel, for the moment.

Gazing upon the strong love you have for your daughter is as rejuvinating for me as water is for you, and, it is my hope that I will be able to help you again soon, sustained by nothing else.

It is very important to me to keep both you, and your daughter alive and well.

You have entwined destinys, and a great potential for great goodness.

Trust your companions, for they will both keep you safe, and be a moral compass for you in the upcoming darkness that you will need all of our help to overcome.

You must awaken. They mean you harm. I wish we had more time.

I have dire news for you. Though I cannot say which, a companion of yours will be taken this night. They will be tortured, and mentally scarred to a point that they will be mentally unrecognizable to you. In my current state, I am unable to help you, weak as I am.


I wish you luck, though this is merely a useless parting statement rather than the actual blessing I would normally be able to provide."

Jay El pleads with Abatu and seeks some way to solve this crisis. To which... there is but one.

To perminantly sacrifice a loving memory of his daughter, forever. The refined essence of this memory being far more potent than any single observation.


"...I'll do it." Came Jay El's anguished reply, as the memory was painlessly ripped from him. He simply never had this experience. As a result, his soul was just a titch darker, his life, a little less meaningful, and his character, slightly more tarnished from his life's hazards.

Abatu glowed, drinking in the refined happiness & joy... and then, Jay El is awakened by the sounds of some rather upset Goblins.
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?