Nobody lets Petal monologue.

The group climbed out and sighed.

"God damn it." Ash grunted.  "We're back where we started."

Jay El smiled, "that's true buddy ol' pal, but hey, at least we have a new door to go through, now!"

"Hello." said the world.

"Oooooh." the party attempted "...kaaay..."

The walls warped around, and forged a Petal.

"Hey!  It's Petal!" Jay El smiled "Hi Petal!  Sorry about before!"

"Hello biggies." Petal smiled.  "Welcomes to no-nicey place where Petal makesies the rules."

"Awesome, can you get us out of here?"

"QUIET!" Petal yelled, doing her best to be dramatic and evil.  "Petal knows youse is all trying to be goodies but just suck at it."

The group all agreed except for Raelin "Uh, actually, I'm not trying t..."

"No, Petal knows, not you - Petal gets it.  -Anyway, Petal was saying,"

"Its just that I"m not with these people, and, I'm evil.  So, if you're evil..."

"Quiet, please - Petal is monologuing."

"Big word for a pixie."

"Will you... (sigh)  Right.  Anyway:  Petal has been trying to decide on weather or not to killsies you all, or helpsies you out - as Petal would really like to killsies you all, but, you are all needed to savezies the world."

"Wait." Raelin interjected "all of us are needed?"

"...(sigh) yes, all-of-you-are-needed MOVING ON, you..."

"So I can't kill... like... any of these people?"
"So we can't kill Raelin?"

"NO!  N... look, I'm going to be doing the killing!  I'm the big scary evil thing!"

"Heh, right.  Sure, very scary.  Look - just to be clear, why are you mad at us?"

"B... bec... (wasn't I clear on that?  I felt I was clear on that.)  BECAUSE YOU KILLED MY ENTIRE FAMILY... and... also broke some of my toys."

"Oh.  Okay."

"..."

"So..."

"Petal is just seeing if there are any more QUESTIONS."

"No, we're good."

"...okay then.  As Petal was saying - Petal is going to flip a coin.  Heads, petal sends you to a place where youse all gets to watch each others die, forevers and evers.  Tai...."

"What's tails?"

"...ls... TAILS IS Petal helps you.  She gives you one of the thingies you needzies to save the world...sies."

The fairy flipped the coin that would decide the group's entire fate.

"Wait, which one are we hoping for again?"

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Jay El loses his jewels.

Thanks to the mental connection the entire party was sharing, everyone was privy to the innermost thoughts of the party, weather they wanted to be, or not.

"I think that I'm a fucking cheetah!"
"Rat hands!"
"Monkey hands!"
"Can I make a wish on your hands?"
"I'll make a wish for you!  (oh good, middle fingers yay for opposable thumbs!)"
"Everyone shut up!  We're all inside our animals"
"I'm a horse.  (do doo do d-doo)"
"Was anyone awake when this happened?"
"I was.  World got shimmery.  Nobody around, nuthin'"
"Jewel-less!  I feel so separated from my divinity!"
"I could totally smash that door!  I'm freaking HUGE!"
"Hold the hell on!"

The Cheetah (Ash) opened the door.  "Sheesh.  You get trapped in an animal's body and you get all panicky."

Ash paused and looked at some of the smaller animals in the party.  This Cheetah hadn't eaten in a while.

"We should get moving." he muttered, noting that the rest of the party was well aware of his hunger pangs, and hoped that they understood the severity of his request.

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Ba dah dum duuuuuum!

The tireless Ash blinked as his sleeping companions began to waver and fade like some cheesy Nintendo dimensional transfer graphic.  Was his vision getting fuzzy?  Was the world... fading out one pixel at a time?


"Uh... HEY!" Ash yelled, alerting and awaking his comrades.

Raelin looked around "we've shifted phases." he muttered into everyone's minds at once.

Med looked around, and noted that she was in a small room, and that she was surrounded by the group's animal companions, who all seemed smaller than they had been before.


"HEEEEEY!" suddenly echoed inside everyone's minds in a voice similar to Jay El's.


Ash's voice was soon to follow, again, echoing within their minds.  "What the fuck is this place?  Fuckin' fucking fuck.  Fuck.  Fucking fucktardian fucklore."


Raelin noted that he'd likely been shrunk - as all of the animals around him seemed grotesquely large.  He shifted nervously, making sure not to attract the attention of the Cheetah.

"If I shoot an empowered fireball into the ceiling...  would that get us out and kill the rest of these retards?"

"How does that even make sense?"

"At this point I'm willing to try"

"At this point!?  You've been awake for a minute, because I woke you up!  The solution isn't always fireballs!"

Manbearpig chewed his cheek and thought nothing.

Raelin looked for his rat and noted he was nowhere to be found.  "Good.  Wouldn't want the little bugger seeking revenge..."

Jay El looked "what are you talking about, the Rat is right there!  Who is missing is Mr. Jangles!"

Ash noted that his companions had all faded away, and that he was left in a room with the pets they'd all acquired along their journeys.  He noted Jay El's monkey, and decided to pet it.

Jay El noted the giant Cheetah leap towards him and take a swipe at his face.  Immidiately, Jay El reached for his mace and noted it was not there!  Panicking, he swung his empty hand at the Cheetah.


Ash recoiled, noting that the Monkey appeared feral or possibly rabid, then paused

Ash: "Ooooh." echoed shortly thereafter through the joys of mass telepathy.

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Killing the kid, not evil. Raising his pet as a skeleton: evil? Psh, your ethics are whack, yo.

The world faded back into view as Med's holy powers sealed Raelin's neckhole shut (the bad hole, not the good one used for breathing) and he swore angrily at the indignity of it all, glaring for someone to phantasmly kill.  He noted that Tribby seemed to be underneath a Dire Bear, and opted to zap... the bear.

Tribby didn't notice right away, and did a conan-fights-the-rubber-snake (otherwise known as the sacred son of Set) for a bit, before shrugging the behemoth off of her.

The young Troll had stabbed her a few times while the Bear had held her down (whilst mauling!) and she was leaking rather poorly.

Meanwhile, Ash was holding his own against the larger Troll, though it too, was holding its own against him.

Jay El rushed to Tribby's aid, and like a feminine hygiene product advertisement, helped absorb much of her leakage; unlike a feminine hygiene ad, he then sealed the hole from whence the liquid had came.

As a group, they all slew the remaining Trolls.

Jay El looked down at the aborted Father-son picnic, and sighed "is this evil?  Are we doing evil again?" it was getting very difficult for him to tell the difference.

"What?  Pfft, they shot first, dude." Came Ash's reply.

"Oh." Jay El lamented.  "Cool."  Then, after a second "hey, do you think I could raise the corpse of any of these things to serve my dark desires?"

Ash smiled.  "Nah, probably too many hit dice."

Jay El frowned.  "Yeah."

"You could raise it though... make the dire bear undead."

"True..."

"But you couldn't control it."

"...no."

"XP..."

The banter continued for a while on the logistics behind raising enemies simply to kill them, and, in the end, the party continued its journey northward up the mountains, eventually stopping in a rather pleasant (if still frightfully cold) section of rocks, to bunker down for the night.  (or hunker)

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Math: AAAAH, it's incredible.

Ash repressed his homicidal urges, his sociopathic urges, his psychopathic urges, his violent urges, his urges to jump, and, likely most importantly, his urges to stab.

Ash forced a grin "hey meyn, we'll give you a hunnerd gold to let us go now, yeah?"

The Goblin guards looked at each other and discussed it amongst themselves.

"I don' know man, if dey foun' out dey'd totally keel us both..."
"Ya maeyn, but imagin' wha' we coul' buy witdat!"

Ash cut to the chase, and silently promised his spear he'd stab something later extra hard.  "Look boys, we inna hurry okay?  Hows about two hunnerd gold but you gotta take it or LEAVE IT." he finished, emphasizing that he was holding a large spear and that, perhaps, the bribe was the way to go for the two gentlemen.

"Sheet meyn!  Das' like seventy five gold for each of us eh?"
"Holy co' really meyn?"
The Goblin smiled and looked back at ash with a sly grin "Oh yeah meyn, I'm real good at math."
"Sheet okay meyn, das a good deal."

Ash smiled knowingly at the entrepreneurial Goblin, and handed the one Goblin all 200 coins.  Likely he would split the "seventy five" coins into 17 groups of three for easy counting for his less intelligent counterpart.

"Alrigh' holmes, but remember, we didn' see nothin', but neither did you, comprende?  Dunno how you missed us Goblins, but you did.  Righ?"

Ash smiled.  "Righ' on meyn.  Go spend it all in one place ;-)"

The group continued walking, and noted that the ground itself was shuddering from the renovations.  No doubt the Delvers were hard at work.

Raelin frowned.  "They're making tunnels."

Ash nodded.  "Later, Raelin."

Raelin nodded.  "Can't be good."

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Jump... and... stab?

The group continued its way, doing its best to keep their distance, but not look like they were keeping their distance (eg walk casual).  What met their eyes was actually rather awe inspiring.  It really showed what stupid people in large groups could really accomplish with a little bit of direction.  The stronghold, which had already been impressive, now stood considerably larger than before (and the group had only last seen it less than 5 months ago) and, there were clearly additions on a very large scale being constructed out of wood and stone.  Most of the Goblins appeared hard at work, though, there were still sentries.

"...so I seys to t'human, I seys 'La-hook buh-dee' in der laamo languaage righ?"
"Oh meyn, I lo' it when y'do da acceeent"
"I no rhi?  An I seys, 'I dohn't care how bihg you ahre, I'm still gonna out-duh-rink your sorry ass!' "
"No waaay, you sai' dat mayn?"
"For reals, and then this big ol' Dwarf come up, an' it turs out dey friends, ri?"
"Oh sheet, you can't ou'drink a Dwarf hombre!"
"Dat's wh'you tink, doh!  Das when da storee gess better..."
"Oh sheet meyn, der's some ungoblins comin'!"

"Uh oh..." they collectively uh oh-ed, as the two Goblin sentries, who were riding upon some rather large wolves, approached in a rather aggressive manner.

"Heeeey guuys!" Ash smiled, practicing his Goblin, and making a nice warm gesture.

"Heeey, iss da Kobold-killahs eh?" came the reply of the Goblin sentries.

"Yeeeh meyn, we's jus' headin' through yeah?"

"Awww man, why don' you com' 'ang outwichus a while eh?"

"Naaaw, dudes, we gotta keep on mooovin'"

The Goblins looked at each other and sighed.

"No man.  We insist." they said.  "We gotta detain you fo' a while."

"Wha?  Why meyn?"

"Sorree, we're on high alert, we's got orders to detain jus' about everyone."

The group paused and looked at their apparent new figurehead for a solution.

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Poopie Maker?

"We're goin' to see da dwaaaarves, we're goin' to see da dwaaaaaarves..." Tribby skipped, singing to herself loudly.

"Hey." Jay El mumbled over at Ash.  "Where'd we get that from again?"

"What?"

"The scroll thingie that the hummingbird thingie was so interested in."

"Oh."

...

"The Gnolls."

"Oh right."

...

"Are there Dwarves anywhere around here?"

"What, like a city?"

"Yeah.  What, Gnolls don't get to have a city?"

"Yeah, they might I guess; I don't think so, though."

"No?"

"No, most of the Gnolls I've seen have been mercenaries."

"Hm."

...

"So... the other day, when we were talking..."

Tribby halted the group suddenly, hearing a slight rumbling.

"...Tummy?"

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Better than randomly talking to a deer, at least.

Jay El looked back at Ash, but, he'd already moved onwards in his tireless march.  Jay El sighed, and put his armor back on and relaxed into the gentle lolling back and forth of Shibou's upper back.  It was like being rocked to sleep, and, honestly, it made it hard for him to stay fully alert.

Suddenly, a fiery hummingbird, presumably the same as before, shot towards the party from the North East and promptly stopped and hovered next to Raelin like a well trained dog expecting a treat.

Raelin, nonplussed, attempted to communicate.

(D'lar, d'luvian, d'skinnar d'shanty, floovie floove flooi, d'shaaaah...)
"To one who is not I, yet to whom we are all a part of, I greet the light of myself within you." he said, in Sylvan.

No response.

(GHREEAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!)
"Hello." he screamed in Draconic

No response.

(Oy, top o' the mornin' to y'then?)
"Well met." he tried, in Elven.

No response.

(How's it goin' eh?)
"I trust you are well?" he attempted, in Common.

No response.

(RREAAAGH!  Gurk gurk!  GRAACK!)
"Do you not seek violence?" he sighed, trying Orc.

No response.

(Eeeeey maaaan, whas' haaaappenin...?)
"State your business." he tried, in Goblin.

No response.

Raelin sighed, and opened the case.  The less than talkative bird immediately flew into the case.

Using his powerful Elven mind, Raelin faced the group and told them of his wise hypothesis.

"It would seem that it went somewhere."

They all nodded.

"And then it came back."

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British Cigarettes

"YOU!" Tribby came out of the tent, "YOU NO RIDE ON SHIBOU EITHER!" she yelled, pointing at Ash.

Ash attempted an idle grunt but lost it and turned it into a chuckle and half smile, slighlty re-straining his facial muscles.  "Psh!" he finished, "I never get tired and I run faster than you anyway."

Tribby pulled open her breeches and looked down curiously "Somehow... Tribby feel like less of a woman..."

Ash grunted "Don't see how that's possible." and then quickly ducked a ogre-hurled rock.

Jay El, not wishing to see the conflict escalate, quickly stood between the two potential combatants and placed his hands upon them.  "Wow Tribby, you're so..." Jay El stopped himself from saying smooth "justified in your anger, but we have to look at the big picture here!"

Tribby grunted "Tribby look later."

Jay El strained against the two tanks "Wait, wait!  Look, my chest compass is telling us which direction to go!" he lied, "and it says not to kill each other!"

Ash grunted "which way does it say to go, now?"

Jay El sighed, glad that the moment seemed to have passed, "It says to go directly behind where you are, actually - to the East."

Ash grunted.  "Well, we'll wrap things up with the Dwarves and head back there, then."

Jay El smiled.  Ash was in this for the long haul.  What a great friend.

---

As the party tromped Northwards, Jay El would pause from time to time and remove his armor so as to check his chest-compass for details.  Ash would stop as well, and look at him inquisitively.

"Yes.  It still says to the East." he smiled.  "I don't think its the Goblins, though - the way the compass is positioning, I think it'd be moving more precisely if it were..."

Ash grunted and looked at the arrow.  "Seems fairly stationary though."

Jay El smiled at his interest.  "Yes."

There was a moment where their eyes met.  "Yes it does."

A soft breeze flowed across Ash's hairless skin, causing it to goose bump.  Jay El noted that Ash's skin was moist with the dew of perspiration one tends to acquire from marching, even in the wintertime.

Snow fell all around them softly, and elegantly.

"HEY!" came a sudden yell from one of the slaves who the party had freed and encouraged to follow.  "CAN WE GO?"

Jay El looked away awkwardly from Ash, "that was hella weird..." he thought to himself "Uhh.. yeah?  Sure.  You guys can go."

"Okay!" The slave yelled, then turned to his slavemates  "Hey!  We can go!"

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You want my bone? I want it! Tadaaa

The group looted the one Ogre, but found little.  Content that their ruse had worked, they decided to move their party Northwards, in an effort to find some better fortified locations in which to camp.

"You no sit on Shibou." Tribby pointed at Raelin.

Raelin balked, and looked up at Tribby.  "I...  and why not?"

Jay El laughed and gave Tribby a high five.

Tribby, suddenly self concious and libra-like, amended "I don't think she carry so much."

Raelin frowned.  "Yes.  Because the thousands of pounds she was previously carrying greatly underweigh my elven frame."

Tribby smiled and shrugged, "I no count... good."

The party marched and road up the road... road.  Jay El looked up at Ash, who was sitting and off-handidly staring sternly at things from time to time.  He'd been so kind to Jay El recently, that, Jay El decided to press his luck a little.

"Hey Ash, I was thinking... you have a robe that makes undead, yeah?"

Ash grunted.

"Right, and well, I'm getting really good at controlling undead."

Ash grunted, and stared sternly at a butterfly that was getting suspiciously close to the party.

"And... uhh, (I think that's just a butterfly Ash) I was wondering if, maybe, you would uhh... (seriously, the butterfly isn't going to...)"

"You want my undead?" Ash suddenly enunciated at him, gruffly.

"Uh... yeah."

There was a pause in which Ash could have jumped and speared many a time.  "Fine." he grunted, and tossed them at Jay El.

Jay El nodded in appreciation.  Ash was really warming to him, he could tell.

+2 Zombie Dogs
+2 Skeleton Dogs
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Low ground with a choke point is good, right?

Tribby ran into the quarry and stomped right next to Raelin, interrupting his meditation again, and flung her arms around Shibou's leg.  "TRIBBY MISS SHIBOU.... TRIBBY MISS YOU SO... oooh, Shibou need new armor..." she finished, noting that the Ogres had removed sizable chunks of the creature's plate mail.

There was a pregnant but aborted pause "So what we do?" Tribby transitioned, "we follow big monster?"

Ash smiled at the Ogre.  Her bloodlust was kinda growing on him.  "We camp."

"We camp?

"We camp."

"Here?"

"Sure"

"We sleep... here?"

"Right here."

"In rock place?"

"Yes."

"..."

Jay El put his hand between Ash and Tribby "It's a fairly fortified location" he reasoned.

Tribby shrugged.  She was the dumb one, after all.  "okay." she acquiesced, bedding down in the pit surrounded by rocks/high ground with only one entrance in or out.

DM's note: (Silently, Renee, Tribby's player, screams in protest)

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Brilliant.

Tribby snapped out of her daze, almost as if there was an exterior entity who had been controlling her the majority of the time, but that entity had gone out for sushi and left the Ogre more mindless than usual for a period of time.

Regardless, she was back.

"Where... Trib...by...   TRIBBY GOING BACK TO ROCK-PLACE!" She announced.  Gluestick, who had been licking her face with a worried look upon... her(?) face (is gluestick a guy or a girl?) nodded in agreement, and accompanied her back to the quarry.

Manbearpig took a deep breath and prepared to do more talking.  "They already found our duckephant." he said.  Jay El, who was used to keeping his ears piqued for the soft spoken druid, gave him some recognition and encouraged him to continue.

"They're taking care of it.  There's lots of Ogres." Manbearpig finished with a sigh of relief.

"Did you talk to Shibou?" Jay El prompted.

Manbearpig squinted at Jay El and shook his head no.  Jay El made the "elaborate" motion, and Manbearpig squinted anew.  "Can't talk when I'm a bird." he elaborated.

Tribby, who had just arrived, announced loudly "TRIBBY MISS SHIBOU!"

Ash decided to defend Manbearpig's apparent decision "What do you want to do, save the duckephant and get killed in the process?"

Jay El suddenly had a thought.  "Hey... I just remembered... remember Shitanya?  What ever happened to her?"

Without missing a beat at the apparently random segue, Ash voiced his most heartfelt opinions on the matter, bearing his soul of any and all feeling that he had on the subject "Meh." he replied, succinctly.  "So, do we want to leave then?  We could go kill the delver.   What do you guys think?"

Manbearpig sighed.  He really didn't want to speak again so soon.  He feared his vocal chords would likely suffer like a drunk girl at kareoke, but, he had to.  "I have a question." Manbearpig said.  "What are we doing?"

Jay El paused, and realized that Manbearpig had been asleep in his trance for some time now.  "Oh.  Well, we killed a bunch of innocent things."

Manbearpig nodded "I was there for that."

Jay El paused, considered, and then continued "Oh yeah.  Well, then we fought some Manticores."

Raelin piped up "Then we found a bunch of slaves, these idiots insisted on saving them, and then we killed a bunch of Ogres."

Manbearpig nodded.  Their update was detail ridden and accurate enough for him.

Jay El paused and then brought up a very good question.  "Hey.  How could we save the duckephant?"

Everybody paused.  It was a really good question which, somehow, they had all collectively overlooked.  Ash sighed, "We could cast a whisper spell on a bird and yell 'duckephant duckephant come to me!' or something along those lines."

Jay El paused "Yeah.  That might work."

Med paused.  "So... it isn't impossible?"

Ash grunted "No.  Seems pretty easy to me, actually."

"...well... good then."
"good."
"Great."
"Great?"
"Sure.  Great."
"okay."
"Okay."
"good."
"So..."

Everyone paused.

"Let's go do that, then."

Med nodded.  "I'm going to go sleep with the slaves."

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Procrastinated Dialog

Manbearpig, his abdominal muscles cramping from the strain of his previous exclamation, once again, went silent.  The contents and warnings of the dreams were likely unimportant anyway, he reasoned.

He looked over at Ash, who seemed to be talking to some slaves - some of which he recognized from Salsa.  "Rats." Manbearpig thought to himself "those guys just can't catch a break." and, as an afterthought "is Ash completely devoid of any and all body hair, and wearing a pink helm?"

"...and yeah, we were okay for about two hours after you left, and then these big friggin' tree things..."

"(treants)" Ash interrupted.

"...treants, right, they just started rounding us up.  They gave some of us to the Roe Ogres, and took others with them."

"To eat." Ash put in

"Probably, I... I never really thought... oh my god, my wife... my poor..."

"Anyway, then what happened?" Ash prompted.

"...I... well... I guess, (sniff) I guess after that, we've been working... we've been working for the Ogres, and then... well, they sold some of us to the Goblins...  (my god, my poor wife)"

"Go on." Ash pushed.

"right, right -sorry.  And, well, we've been making the Goblin's stronghold, and mining rocks for them ever since."

"What have the Goblins been purchasing from the Ogres, and what are they building?"

"Oh, they bought a delver today... I think they'd bought three or four before that, as well... as for what we've been building, its kind of like a new addition to their existing stronghold.  Making it bigger."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  Probably because there's so damn many of them, they probably just need the space."

"Why the delvers?"

"Probably to help with the renovations.  The majority of their stronghold is rock - delvers shape rock, right?"

One of the other slaves pointed his hand up like he had something to add.
"Go ahead" Ash pointed at him.

"They also have been trying to buy some frost worms."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  I don't actually know what they are.  Some kind of dragon, I'm guessing."

Ash nodded.  Interesting.

Manbearpig realized he was looking at the conversation like a lovesick teen looking at a sparkley vampire.  He wanted to have conversations, he wanted to have expository dialog.  He wanted to really connect with people...

Tribby ran up to Manbearpig.  "Manbearpig!  Duckephant run away, you come help find!"

Manbearpig nodded, and mounted gluestick, silently goading the mount in the direction Tribby was headed.  Silently wondering if it would be a good idea to share his dreams with the group, but discounting those as silly, silly thoughts.

DM's NOTE: Seriously?  "Aaauugh?"  That's your summary of the whole nightmarish vision?  "Aaaaugh?"

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Sadly, there probably is a Guinness record.

"And I'm here, watching the slave trade between the Goblins (that's us) and the Ogres, and its my job to make sure nothing goes wrong because sometimes Ogres are untrustworthy (not that we aren't) and if anyone finds out that I'm not watching the action and as a result something bad happens it'll be my ass on the line and that's why I can't talk to you right now so please don't stab me!"  The Goblin snapped at Ash without the aid of punctuation.

Ash grunted.  "Okay.  You aren't worth any XP anyway." Still, a gathering of goblins and Ogres did promise to be a battle more up his alley...  He turned to tell Tribby the contents of the conversation and saw her reach her personal best.

"23 inches!" She smiled.

Ash sighed.  "C'mon Trib.  We're gonna go save some slaves and hunt some Ogres."

Tribby beamed and wiped her latest challenge on her tunic so that it would dry into a nice trophy.

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The Gentler Side of Ash

Tribby and Ash pushed through the dense forest, in search of the deadly silence, and found a goblin up in a tree in a makeshift fort, with a strange looking device, which he was currently looking into rather intently.

"Uh..." Tribby said, unsure if she should smash, or ask the fellow what he was up to.

Ash put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head.  As she didn't speak Goblin, her attempting anything would only end in violence; and, for once, Ash was wanting to ask questions and then shoot.

"Hey." Ash heyed.

"What!?" The Goblin whatted.

Ash paused, and then continued "What are you doing?"

The Goblin tore his eye away from his device "Piss off!  I'm busy!"

Tribby, not understanding any of the conversation, entertained herself by seeing how long of an intact booger she could get out of her nose.

Ash did his best to be diplomatic.  "If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to stab you in the face."

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Alarm Clock Warranty Not Valid For Ogres.

Raelin stuck his head close to Jay El's ear and whispered "Hey he's gonna go evil."

"zzzzz (snort) eh?  Wha?" came Jay El's reply.  "Wh... who in the whatnow?"

"Ash.  He's going to go evil.  The Prism is an addictive artifact in the hands of a human.  He doesn't need to eat or sleep, and he will become increasingly addicted to the device."

"ELF LET TRIBBY SLEEP!" Tribby barked, throwing a log in his general direction.

"Right, right.  Okay.  Just thought you all should know that your dear friend is going to betray you and only I can..."

"TRIBBY WILL THROW ROCKS!"

"Okay, okay!" Raelin finished, smiling as he left.  The seeds of distrust had been planted.  What would grow from them, would depend...

Nice try, though.

Raelin awoke after his customary 4 hours of meditation, and sauntered up to Tribby.  "I can take the next watch.  Elves sleep far less than Ogres."

"Thanks Elf-Guy." Tribby replied, not remembering Raelin's name.

"By the way Tribby, that was quick thinking with the Duckephant.  You really came through for us today."

"Thanks Elf-guy!" Tribby smiled, walking off and heading to bed.  Any part of her which had felt remorse had been squashed and, with Raelin's praise, justifiably so.

Raelin noted that Ash was still awake.  "Hello Ash, feel free to take rest.  Elves need far less..."

"Thanks." Ash interrupted, "but I'm not tired." he smiled.

Raelin arched an eyebrow.  "Really?  Even though you jogged beside the Duckephant while the rest of us road?"

Ash shrugged "What can I tell you?  I'm not tired."

"Have you eaten?"

"No, why?"

"Hm."

Raelin sat quietly to himself.  There was magic at work here, to be sure.  But how best to use this information to his advantage?

"Can I see the prism for a moment?" He ventured.

"No."

How indeed...

Verbal Pong

"So," Ash whispered, checking to make sure Tribby was still on guard duty between them and Raelin,  "what're we gonna do about Raelin?" Ash gestured, pointing in the direction of the meditating Elf from which they'd moved out of earshot.

"What do you mean?" Jay El whispered, following Ash's point with his eyes, and noting Tribby playing with some discarded elk droppings.  "I say we honor our commitment to him, and accompany him to the Dwarves as promised, yeah?"

"Right.  And the Prism?"

"Well, we kinda have to save the world."

"Right."

"I guess he isn't going to be okay with that."

"Not likely."

"Are you guys for real?" Med whispered back, "I mean, about saving the world?"

"Yeah, we have this quest, we have to make a device that'll save the world from this huge... monster-thing."

"No offense, but you don't seem the world-saving type." Med whispered back.

"Look, we mean well, we just..."

"Suck?" Med finished.

"No, well, I mean, look, random shit just seems to happen to us, okay?  We're on this bigger-than-anything mission, and, we're doing what we can not to break a few eggs along the way, but, this is like, a super cosmic  omelet we're talking about here, okay?"

"Whatever.  Your Ogre friend seemed to enjoy killing those innocent creatures."

"Oh.  Like your Elf friend?"

"Hey, he isn't my friend, he's just..."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Look.  For now, I say we get some rest." Jay El suggested, feeling his eyes droop.

"I'm going to stay up.  I don't trust Raelin" Ash muttered.

Jay El, Med and Manbearpig (who, it should be noted, was watching this conversation like a tennis spectator) all yawned at approximately the same time, and smirked.  "Yeah.  Time for bed."

Offending a luck entity - good call.

Everyone looked at everyone.
In a literary paradox, everyone avoided eye contact.
Everyone looked for a scapegoat for their actions.
Everyone looked at Jay El.

"That friggen Abatu... why do we trust him anyway?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"

Jay El looked at the group, and jumped on the bandwagon.  "Yeah!" he rubbed his chest.  "Listen here Abatu, we've got some questions, and we'd like some answers."

Abatu, hearing his name, emerged.  "Hey guys.  What's up?"

In a rare moment of eloquence and initiative, Tribby started the questioning "What were you, before you were what you are now?"

Abatu attempted to arch an eyebrow at her, but failed.  He'd never been very good at that particular quizzical yet sarcastic expression, and always ended up looking more like he'd eaten something sour.  "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, what were you before you gave us this mission?"

"What mission?"

"Don't avoid the question!"

"What were YOU before YOU were born, stinky?"

"I don't know!"

"Is that seriously what you're all pissed about?  My origins?"

"No!  We have other questions!"
"Yeah!"

"Such as?"

"Well, what are we building?"

"I don't know."

"What evil are we preventing?"

"Psh, beats me."

"How old are you?"

"Compared to what?"

"Do you have any useful information?"

"If I did, I would have told you by now."

"Can you lie to us?"

"I don't see why not."

"What if I cast my truth spell?"

"Knock yourself out lady."

Med cast her truth spell.  "Okay, now... lie to us."

"(sigh) alright, I'm blooOOooOooo, sooooo very bluuuue...  hm.  It seems your spell does dick-all."

"So you could be lying to us about everything?"

"I suppose we all could be lying to each other about lying - maybe you're lying about casting a truth spell eh?"

"Stop twisting things!"

"I'm seriously not.  I'm just confused as to what you're all angry about."

"We don't know who to trust!"

"Ah."

"I mean, the Elf King could be evil and trying to raise evil, or YOU could be evil and trying to raise evil, or, or..."

"You guys didn't just wipe out another peaceful village, did you?"

"wait... you guys have done this sort of thing BEFORE!?"

(Awkward silence)

"Well, not on purpose..."
"No, not on purpose..."
"They were clearly up to no good."
"Clearly."

"I don't believe this!" Med shrieked at the group.  You're all devils!

"No, no really, we're all good!"
"Neutral-Good!"
"Well, I'm lawful neutral"
"Close enough, though!"

"AGGH!"

Abatu smiled at the group.  He decided not to mention the first time he'd contacted Jay El in his dreams, or the second time, when he'd helped Jay El save what few fairies remained alive.  Apparently, they were under the impression that he'd asked for some kind of mission to be undertaken in his name, and, quite frankly, they were kinda being dicks to him at the moment.

"Okay, bye now." Abatu finished.  "Don't come asking me for help any time soon."

Like a dating website but with less creepy results.

Manbearpig continued down the hallway, and noted a few empty cells, and then came across a rather stout, bearded fellow who seemed to be missing his left eye.

"Ach, well now, jus' how'd yew get free then?" came his prompt response.

"Just lucky I guess." Manbearpig smiled, not wanting to give away his secrets.

"I couldda yewsed sommathah luck m'self!  How long ya been here lad?"

"Uh... maybe a few days?" Manbearpig replied.

"Ach, y'doon't say!?  I coulda yewsed that luck a feew years agoo m'self.  Are you gonna let that luck rub off on the rest of us then?"

"..."

"I get the feelin' you might noot be able to free ussall, so, allow me to shamelessly plug a few reasons whiey y'should be thinkin' dwarf over anythin' else"

"Okay.  What's your name?"

"First off, I'm a dwarf!  On my honor as a dwarf, I'm a dwarf!  And, if y'canna trust a dwarf, then, well, y'canna trust him, but y'wouldn'ta known that until after y'trusted him!"

"...right..." Manbearpig replied, somewhat following but getting lost on a few of the left turns.

"And lemme tell ya, a dwarf, which is what I am by the way, is geneeetically capable of tellin' what depth and direction they are.  Veeery helpful in things like underground prison breaks, for example."

"Oh"

"And, when we get out, I gotta buried treasure I can tell ye about.  Heck, if ya help me dig it out I'll spli' it with ya fifty fifty!  Whaddayasay lad?"

"Uh... I'll get back to you." Manbearpig replied.

"We have dark vision, too!  I can see without light!  I braid my privates!  Get back here lad!  You don't wanna go into a dungeon without a dwarf!  Its suicide!  C'back!  M'name's Gimley!  But I ain' t base a'tall upon any literary figure!  I doon't even HAVE an axe!  (but I can use one for the record) where ya goin' lad!?"

Manbearpig rounded a corner and noted a few more empty cells, and an emaciated, noseless, greenish figure chained to his own cell wall.  The creature looked very weak, and did not even lift its head when it spoke.  Though, when it spoke, his completely alien language reverberated within Manbearpig's own skull like an echoing, terrifying, whisper that was both loud, and quiet at the same time.

"Chooo raaah kaaa tooor ooooo skaaa skaaa skaaa skaa...."

Manbearpig, thoroughly creeped out, continued on down the hallway.

"Empty... empty... empty..." Manbearpig sounded off, dragging his chain behind him absent mindedly.  It was kind of like shopping, but not as busy as the bazaar.  A part of him understood the attraction of slavers.  Sure, it was unethical, but you got to really see some interesting things.

He stopped in his tracks.  "Wowzers." he muttered.  The hot, mostly naked girl in the cell was easily a 10.  "hommina hommina" he attempted again.  But, she was fast asleep.

He decided to go one cell over, and looked in.  Though she definitely needed a bath, there was a fairly attractive pair of breasts in the slightly darker cell which greeted his eyes.  "Noted for later." Manbearpig muttered, and explored further.

"Ah.  Stairs.  Now that is interesting..."  he concluded, and headed down.  "Big stairs, too" he noted.  "Really big..."