Manbearpig, like a cartoon version of the Pink Panther, continued his tip toeing, chain dragging stealthery, and investigated the beastery at the bottom of the stairs. A menagerie of morose mongooses, mandeers, duckwoozles, duckephants, geesemice, sheepfrogs and others all paraded around; some chained, others leashed, all being led by various Kobolds into what appeared to be some sort of auction.
At the front of the auction, was an auctioneering Kobold, talking to a fairly faceted screen of a crystalline nature.
Noting the room's contents, Manbearpig stealthily dragged his chain back up the stairs, and went down the other set to investigate. He heard a clank. He paused, took a few more steps and heard some more clanking. It was hard to ascertain if it was simply his chain echoing off the stairs, or, if, in fact, it was coming from downstairs. He waited a moment, and heard a clank without he moving first.
"Hm..." he guessed. "Machines?" he quickly pushed aside the notion, having no idea what a machine was. "Armored mice?" he poked his head around a corner and looked into the point of the spear which was stabbing him in the eye. "Jesus-fuck-damn!" he screamed, recoiling and summoning a crocodile. "fucking shit balls!" he complained, shooting fire randomly into a wall. "cock eye stab fire crock nuts!" he barked, really freaking out.
His vision in his remaining eye was a little blurry (that can happen when you get stabbed in the face) but, it seemed there was about 25 armored Kobolds tromping towards him with a loud, rhythmic clanking.
"Screw this!" he yelled, and high tailed it out of there, leaving the poor crocodile to defend itself. (it shed a single tear)
At the front of the auction, was an auctioneering Kobold, talking to a fairly faceted screen of a crystalline nature.
Noting the room's contents, Manbearpig stealthily dragged his chain back up the stairs, and went down the other set to investigate. He heard a clank. He paused, took a few more steps and heard some more clanking. It was hard to ascertain if it was simply his chain echoing off the stairs, or, if, in fact, it was coming from downstairs. He waited a moment, and heard a clank without he moving first.
"Hm..." he guessed. "Machines?" he quickly pushed aside the notion, having no idea what a machine was. "Armored mice?" he poked his head around a corner and looked into the point of the spear which was stabbing him in the eye. "Jesus-fuck-damn!" he screamed, recoiling and summoning a crocodile. "fucking shit balls!" he complained, shooting fire randomly into a wall. "cock eye stab fire crock nuts!" he barked, really freaking out.
His vision in his remaining eye was a little blurry (that can happen when you get stabbed in the face) but, it seemed there was about 25 armored Kobolds tromping towards him with a loud, rhythmic clanking.
"Screw this!" he yelled, and high tailed it out of there, leaving the poor crocodile to defend itself. (it shed a single tear)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave Feedback!
Did you laugh at a noob?
Cry at a DM's judgement call?
Scream out in agony at a spelling/grammar mistake?
Just want to flame some D&D n00bs?
Let us know!